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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: November 2012

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Funny Deployment Stories: The Lighter Side of Deployment


You all may remember my Deployment Series in which a number of lovely ladies shared their deployment experiences and their tips to survive.  But deployments aren't always all bad.  Sometimes there are some pretty funny things that happen and I'm happy to share with you a few stories that show the funny side of deployments.  If you have a funny deployment story you'd like to share, please email me!  I'd love to highlight your story!


I am so thrilled to be guest blogging again on A Boy, A Girl, and the Marine Corps website! Thank you again for the opportunity. I’m LC, and You can find me over at Faith & Deployments . Hang tight, I’m going through my second PCS in six months and trying to open my own business. But I promise I will have tons to write about our new adventure on the West Coast!

The lighter side of Deployment

It’s so easy to get caught up in everything negative deployments and TDYs have to offer. But when I look back at all three deployments we’ve been through I have some great stories and memories.

Two of my favorites happen to involve the world’s largest brown spider and a pressure washer and a Nor’easter and my wedding cake topper.

I’ll start with the wedding cake topper. So like normal married tradition, you freeze the top portion of your wedding cake and eat it on your first wedding anniversary. Since husband was deployed through our wedding anniversary, our cake topper had to survive 15 months of freezer time. Everything was well and good in the freezer department until a summer Nor’Ester decided to blow into town. Lots of rain and wind. I remember my first thought as the power went out was:

“Sh*t the cake”.

Right? Of all things I’m concerned about our wedding cake. Not that it was 100 degrees outside through the storm, that I had just went grocery shopping and had a fridge full of food or how I would survive with the dog when the roads were flooding out. But the cake. I was concerned with the cake. Plenty of friends who had power offered to take it, but I just knew if it left the safety of the slowly defrosting freezer it would meet it’s end. At hour 15 of the power being out I remember just loosing it from the heat and hunger of cheez-its. I sat on my carpeted living room floor in my unmentionables (undies), and sobbed. I cried even harder when my husband called. Our conversation was quite hilarious looking back.

“Babe??? What’s wrong”
“The cake! It’s ruined! I know it is!”
“What cake?”
“Our WEDDING CAKE. There is a storm and we haven’t had power all day and I just know it melted all to lemon goodness”
“Well open the freezer and check”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! And let all the cold air that’s left escape?!?! NO! If the cake is still frozen I decrease the chances of it being okay by opening the freezer”
“Babe, we’ll just buy a new cake if it’s ruined. It’s not that big of a deal. People do it all the time.”
“That’s even worse! Everyone will know it wasn’t our wedding cake! I can’t fraud our first year wedding anniversary! That is like a bad omen for the rest of our marriage. I can’t believe it won’t make it through a year because of a stupid storm we didn’t plan for. I should have brought lots of ice or something to keep it alive.”
“Okay babe. It will all be okay”

I realize now I was a bit over dramatic, but for some insane reason this cake was the only thing holding out my attitude through the deployment. The thought of him coming home and us enjoying it and reminiscing about our wedding together all romantic after a deployment was all I could think about.  Needless to say my tears were for nothing. The cake made it, was amazing to say the least and we couldn’t even finish the whole thing even after a week.

Take two on deployment tears and fears.

I loathe spiders. They are the single most thing I am afraid of. I got this bright idea to “power wash” the house for my lovely husband during his last deployment. I put the thing together like a champ and went to town. I made it around the entire house (and it looks good if I do say so), and all I had left was our half wrap porch. I made it all the way around the porch to the very last corner where a GIANT and I mean 7-8 inches WIDE spider jumped out of the siding at me.

So I scream, drop the sprayer and run into the yard. I’m crying, yelling, and pointing at the porch like someone will care. No one is around. Our neighbors are probably inside shutting their blinds thinking, “That crazy lady next door is having a meltdown again”. I finally realize the pressure washer may have enough pressure to kill the spider. I tiptoe back onto the porch. Pick up the sprayer and go to town spraying the monster. At some point I started screaming, “Die! Die! You filthy bastard”

Imagine a little 5’4” girl, in dirty clothes, holding a sprayer, yelling “Die! Die” at the top of her lungs on her porch in her neighborhood. You got the picture? Okay awesome. That was me.

I wound up calling a friend. Superwoman B to the rescue and she killed the dirty thing.

All in all, both of those memories I laugh at now. They were humbling and emotional and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.


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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

USMC Birthday Giveaway WINNER!!!!



Thank you so much to everyone who participated in the giveaway!  It was so much fun!

I'm pleased to announce the winner is Amy Michelle of Trials and Triumphs of Loving My Sailor.  Please be sure to check your inbox for the email with the details on collecting your prize.



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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

New Pinterest Boards

If any of you are following me on Pinterest, and haven't seen the Facebook update, please note that I have opened a new Pinterest account and will be closing the old one soon.

The link on the sidebar of this blog has been updated.  Please click HERE to verify that you are following my new account which should feature a link to this blog.  The profile picture is also the same as my blog button.  I made no changes to the previous account, so there should be a noticeable difference between the two.

I'm sorry for any inconvenience.


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Monday, November 26, 2012

Why I'm Afraid of Zombie Clowns and Why You Should Be Too

Photo Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net
Do you remember the post I wrote about my fear of the dark?  Well, at the bottom of it, I mentioned my fear of both zombies and clowns, and my newest-ish fear of Zombie Clowns.  You can laugh all you’d like, but I have good reasons to fear these things. 

We’ll start with zombies. 

Working in the medical field has taught me a lot of things, but working in research has taught me even more.  Like why we should all fear the zombie apocalypse.  You see, while everyone thinks zombies are very “in” right now, the truth is, they aren’t as science fiction as you might think they are. 

The origin of nearly every zombie story can be traced back to a virus or mutation.  But what is often overlooked in those stories is that those viruses or mutations are usually made by us, as in Mankind.  We tinker about in our laboratories and play with this that or the other virus, biological weapon or newest medication to cure erectile dysfunction and the next thing you know, ZOMBIES. 

I worked in research and I’m telling you right now, that for all of our protocols, safety equipment and what not, it’s still possible.  I got nicked with a used needle once after giving an injection and that was me being more worried about a deadly virus that currently exists, rather than one that might not.  I’m not saying that zombies already exist, I’m not crazy, but I don’t think it’s wholly illogical to think that they could in the future. 

We don’t always know what the side effects of medications are going to be and our curiousity about what we can do with science and technology knows no bounds!  That’s all well and good, but both of those are things that, in the perfect storm, lead to zombies.  Whether it’s a laboratory worker who accidently inhales something or cuts himself, or a medication that we created that did great… Until human clinical trials were started.  It doesn’t really matter exactly how the general public gets infected, what matters is that once they do, it’s pretty hard to stop.  And I have no doubt we will have smart zombies like the ones from I Am Legend, rather then the dumb ones from Dawn of the Dead.

So, now that we’ve established the likelihood and reality that is the zombie apocalypse, let’s talk about clowns. 

Clowns are creepy as hell.  If that’s not enough for you to also be afraid of them, consider this: Why are they always so happy? I’m going with, because they have plans to kill everyone and it’s their own little inside joke.  Need more? Let’s talk about the insanity it takes to be someone who wears oversized clothes and shoes everyday.  Or the fact that people laugh at them for doing things like falling down.  Maybe he just slipped and needs a hand, huh? Did you ever think of that?  But if people point and laugh at you long enough, you would also plan on killing everyone.  I figure it creates a boiling rage and the laughter becomes all consuming in their minds and they have decided that wiping out humanity is the only way to make it stop.  And/or (because it could very well be a combination of both) it’s because they are all homicidal maniacs that want to wrap you in pods of cotton candy and drink your blood with a curly straw a la Killer Clowns From Outer Space.  Come to think of it, that movie may have a lot to do with my fear of clowns…Either way, I’ve now laid out excellent and well thought out arguments as to why you should fear both zombies and clowns.  So what about Zombie Clowns?

If you’ve read the above arguments, than Zombie Clowns needs no further explanation.  




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Saturday, November 24, 2012

Book Swap A little Late

I participated in a book swap hosted by Sweet Green Tangerine and love it!  I'd never done a swap before, but when I heard about a book swap, I couldn't resist.  Sadly, due to issues with Barnes & Noble, I got my books a bit late to link up :(  But I'll still tell you what a great experience it was!

First, I emailed back and forth with my partner and then picked the book I wanted to send her.  I sent her A Year Of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs.  You may remember that I actually reviewed the book right here on this blog!  I absolutely love this book and think everyone should read it, so I sent her a copy.

For me, she tried to send me ebooks to read via my Nook, but B&N couldn't get their crap together to get the links to work, so I wasn't able to access them.  I rarely have to call their customer service, but when I do, I always remember that it sucks. Either way, we agreed to give up on the ebooks and she send me the books via mail- hence the lateness in my ability to participate in the blog post link up for the swap.

She sent me:


I'm beyond thrilled and felt a bit like a nerd when I gushed to her about how happy I was with her selections! Faith Deployed is a book I've been dying to own.  I'd never heard of the Snowman, but have a feeling I will love it based on the plot description.

Note to self:  Participate in another book swap.



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Thursday, November 22, 2012

Funny Deployment Stories: If My LIfe Were A Movie, I'd Want Tina Fey To Play Me

You all may remember my Deployment Series in which a number of lovely ladies shared their deployment experiences and their tips to survive.  But deployments aren't always all bad.  Sometimes there are some pretty funny things that happen and I'm happy to share with you a few stories that show the funny side of deployments.  If you have a funny deployment story you'd like to share, please email me!  I'd love to highlight your story!  

This one is my story: If My Life Were a Movie, I'd Want Tina Fey to Play Me (as featured on The Roberston Clan)


I often feel like my life has been a comedy of errors, a cautionary tale if you will.  Each step I take seems to be designed to teach me a life lesson that would have been easier to learn through a well thought out warning from someone else… But I guess there must always be the “someone” who learns the hard way so that others don’t have to.  I just wish that it wasn’t always me, or so it feels. 

I’ve decided, at this point so far into my military spouse life, that I might as well start taking my sad, and almost pitiful luck, and turn it into something useful.  I mean, as a fellow milspouse blogger and friend told me recently, if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all. 

When I first became a military girlfriend, I knew almost nothing about the Marine Corps.  I didn’t even know how to spell “corps.” That is not a joke, but feel free to laugh hardily at that.  For all my book smarts and good grades in school, I severely lacked any true knowledge about military life save what I saw in the old “Be all you can be” Army ads.  For all I knew, Marines really did climb mountains and fight fire demons (you may or may not remember that ad as well).  So, when it came to dating a Marine, it all felt very glamorous.  I was the girlfriend of a handsome Marine.

When we got married and he deployed shortly after, that glamorous world turned in the real life of a newly wed spouse to a deployed Marine… That life is not only NOT glamorous, but I might have been a tad pathetic… Just a tad.  Or a lot, depending on how long you have been married to your service member, and how many deployments you have been through.  Being a reserve wife, I’m not anywhere near a single other spouse from the unit, so I took to blogging to vent.  It’s true, I found out very quickly that there was a whole community of milspouse bloggers that I didn’t know existed, but I’m pretty sure most of them read my blog purely out of the joy of laughing at the sadly hysterical follies of a new spouse finding her way on her own. 

I look back at that time in my life with a half smile.  I’m horrified at the overly weepy gal I was.  But hey, I knew nothing about how to navigate the military as a spouse and had to learn on a very steep learning curve.  I was strong, but not as strong as I am now.  And I know so much more about how to get what I need out of the military than I did then, but even now, I have my panic stricken moments filled with terror and fear when something unexpected goes wrong…  then I write a blog post about what I learned and turn myself back into that darn old cautionary tale. Such is my life.

So, I will share with you one of my heartbreakingly hilarious stories from my deployment and will tell you your life lesson of the day- I ask you to picture Tina Fey as me in this moment for the absolute best effect.

My husband was deployed at the time and I had not heard from him for a number of days.  No word at all.  So, I’m sitting in my sweats feeling particularly freaked out that day, minding my own business of watching TV to occupy my time, when the doorbell rang.  Panic filled my heart.  I was not expecting anyone today!  And if I’m not expecting anyone, then that doorbell can only mean one thing…

I burst into hysterical tears as I answered the door. 

The look on the Fed Ex delivery man’s face was beyond uncomfortable, and, I might add, priceless. 

I can only imagine what must have been going through this poor mans mind when a disheveled, hysterical young woman came to the door when all he wanted to do was deliver a box.  And he must have been utterly confused by the look of shear relief that came over my face when I realized it was just the Fed Ex guy.

So, the life lesson of today is two fold.  1. Don’t wear sweats, skip showering and mope about the house after you have ordered something online and are awaiting a delivery while your husband is deployed.  2. Maybe explain to the poor guy why you were sobbing, instead of just sniffling while signing for the package and then shutting the door on the poor confused mans face.

Now, wasn’t that much funnier,and less pathetic, when it was Tina Fey, instead of me?



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PS.  Happy Thanksgiving! :)

 
Aloha Friday Blog Hop

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thankful?

I really enjoy taking the time to be thankful for things.  I find that it's helpful to do that when things are stressful, life is getting me down, or I'm just in a foul mood.  If you've been reading very long, you have probably seen a few posts where I just list things I'm thankful for.  I bring this up, not to tell you all how awesome I am, though that is pretty true.  I'm bringing this up because, while during the rest of the year I spend A LOT of time counting my blessing, the holidays is the one time I don't feel very blessed at all.

Sure, I can count the my blessings that we can afford to buy presents, and can even usually splurge on a really great gift every now and then.  I can feel thankful that I have a job I love and food on my table and all of your standard 30 days of being Thankful stuff.  But the reason the holidays get me down is that everyone loves to count their blessings, and so many have so much more than I do.

Money isn't everything.  We hear that all the time.  And while my husband and I are financially secure and should be out of debt in the next year or so, what I'm lacking in this world is family and friends.

Watching everyone announce on Facebook all of the things that make them feel lucky just pains me, since so many of them are usually the family and friends in their life.  The people in this world that I truly love are few and far between if you want to me name the people I choose to love VS the people I love because I have to.  And the people I feel really close too are probably even fewer.  I'm not close to my parents anymore, you've all been reading about the strained relationship with my ailing grandfather and there's the relatives I never talk about because I have no cause to because they aren't apart of my life.

Don't get me wrong, I have family that I adore, but they are all pretty far away.  I do feel very grateful for them and am happy that Facebook exists to bridge the gap of distance that lies between us.  I'm so thankful to know that I have cousins who make me smile, even from another state, but I'm not blessed in the family department the way so many are. And when it comes to friends, I'm down right poor in many ways.

The holidays are the time of year that everyone remembers how blessed they are, and it's the time of year that reminds me how lacking I am in many ways.  I would trade a lot of what I have in spades to be able to boast what most of you have.

So, I will be thankful for the things I have.  I usually am.  We weren't always financially secure and we didn't always have the lifestyle we have now and I feel lucky that we came out ok.  I'm thankful for my dogs, my job, and the few people I have in my life.  But the holidays will probably always serve to remind me that I don't have many friends and my family life is severely lacking.  But I suppose you can choose your family too, and maybe this year, I'll work on having more of those kind of people in my life so that it's not as painful.

I just find that it's much easier for me to feel thankful for the material things when I'm not being reminded of the riches that I'm missing out on.

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Monday, November 19, 2012

What Are You Afraid Of?

I keep a little “sticky note” on my computer that has  a list of blog topics and other ideas, quotes and various things blog related.  It’s one of those little electronic ones so it can kind of go on forever.  Some of the topics get erased after a while, because I’ve lost inspiration for it and it never came back.  Others stay indefinitely because I want to get that inspiration back and others are just waiting for me to have time to write them. 

This sticky note has become a catch all for blog junk.  Quotes, tidbits and other such nonsense that I keep in one spot and scroll through randomly when I need to.  But one topic that has been there has eluded me for a long time now.  My top fears.  It’s not that I don’t know what those fears are, it’s that, like most things in my life, there are categories.  I have fears that are irrational ones I held onto since childhood.  There’s emotional fears, military related fears, creepy crawly fears and general fears.  It can be a tough topic to cover in one blog post.  I could write a series and probably still not encompass exactly all of them, or all the categories.

Before I dive into what I’ve decided to write this blog post about, let’s look at some of these silly little things we call fears and where some of mine stem from.

First, there’s spiders.  If you aren’t afraid of spiders I truly believe you have some form of damage to the brain.  My fear is so phobic in nature (a true phobia being an excessive and often illogical fear) that I have rules that govern how all spiders must be dealt with.  Such as, if my husband isn’t home, said spider must be jailed into the room it was found.  So, if I find it in the bathroom, the room is closed, and a towel is placed under the door for good measure.  If he is home, the spider must be smashed in a napkin and then flushed down the toilet.  It’s not option to kill it in any other manner, nor dispose of it in anyway that is not flushed down the toilet.  I’ve seen spiders crawl back up sink drains. 

Next up, we’ll look at an emotional fear:  I have a fear of not being believed.  This sounds very silly, but it is actually so deeply feared that I have nightmares about it.  I have horrible nightmares that something awful happens and I must warn everyone, but no one will believe me.  I wake up panicked.  This I’m sure has a root deep in my childhood, but I have never figured out exactly where in my childhood it is seated.  All I know is that I’ve had this fear as long as I can remember.

And, since we are discussing childhood fears, how about the dark.  Which is what this post is truly about.  My confession to you all, is that I am a grown woman who is still deeply afraid of the dark.  Not in a “cry when the lights are off” kind of way, but in a way that have shaped most of how I deal with things.  For instance, when I arrive home, I start by turning on the light in the hall, then I move seamlessly from one room to the next without ever having been in a room without a light on.  It’s a carefully choreographed dance that I perform everyday of my life, no matter where I am.  I have never outgrown this fear.
As a child, I slept half in my doorway and half in the hall off and on for years.  The hall light would be left on until I fell asleep and I would sleep like that all night.  Night-lights simply wouldn’t do the trick and I’ve spent a lot of time laughing at the very concept of them for children’s security purposes.  As an adult, I’m capable of being in the dark, it’s more of a preference that I don’t.  But I supposed it can’t truly be as simple as being a preference when you have spent your whole life creating the means of never being in a dark room.  Even if I’m walking up the stairs and my husband turns off the hall light a little too early, I freeze.  I don’t panic, I just yell up to tell him to turn it back on, but I freeze none the less, which I’m sure would cause this fear to be on the verge of being a phobia.

Why I never out grew it, I will never know.  Why I still fail to move past it, I also will probably never understand.  But so far, it’s been a harmless fear to have, so I’ve never been interested in working past it either.

The only true phobias I have that would probably benefit from being worked through are clowns and zombies, or newest (ever since Zombieland hit theaters) fear: Zombie Clowns.  But those are best left to be explained another time.  But trust me when I tell you, that the last thing you want is for me to start explaining my more rational fears, because once I do, they may not seem so silly to you anymore.

But it does make me wonder if everyone else has these little phobias, irrational fears left over from childhood, or any really silly fears such as mine at all.  Am I the only adult who doesn’t fear more normal things like IRS audits?  Or is there a whole secret life that we ALL lead that is comprised of the fears we don’t want others to know that we still secretly harbor?



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Saturday, November 17, 2012

You Don't Have The Toughest Job in The Corps

Have you seen the bumper sticker "USMC Wife, toughest job in the Corps"? Yeah, I have too.  And you know what?  I wish they would stop making them.  Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be the spouse of a Marine.  I'm happy to stand by his side and take care of him.  But you know what else? I'm not the service member.  Shocking, right?

The thing is, dependents are quite the inconvenience to the Corps.  We cost them a fortune in benefits, added pay and other services.  But make no mistake about this, I am not the one who signed my name to the contract.  I didn't go through boot camp either.  And until I do either of those things, the Corps also prefers to offer me nothing, but they recognize that they have not laid down a rule saying Marines can't marry... Yet.  My husband and I joke that they will someday soon.  But until they do, they will begrudgingly offer benefits to take care of the dependents.

What bothers me most about these bumper stickers, T-shirts, and anything else that says this, is the idea that we, as spouses, have done something phenomenally more than our service member.  The last time I checked, my husband deployed twice and I sat on my butt eating all the good snacks while he was gone.  Was is stressful for me?  Yes.  Was it hard at times? Yes.  Do we face unique challenges in this lifestyle? Absolutely.  I don't care what your spouse does in the military, they have tough jobs filled with stress.  And I guarantee you that the stress I felt while my husband was deployed was nothing compared to what he was doing.

I promise you that every time he's out in the field, and everything goes wrong at home (because there is some unspoken rule that it will), I still don't have it worse.

I am not the one sleeping on the ground, hugging my gun, in the freezing snow.  I'm not disabling IED's, being shot at, manning a ship out at sea, training attack dogs, or any number of other dangers and/or stressful and terribly amazing things that our service members do.  So, there is no conceivable way that I, the spouse, has the toughest job.

This type of attitude towards our service members and what they do is astounding to me.  The very thought that I would have the nerve to feel that way would lead my husband (who's never hit a woman in his life) to smack me across face without a second thought.  We offer tremendous support to our spouses, we offer wonderful things to help them along, but, chances are, they would be serving our country with or without us.

My husband was a Marine before we met, and married or not, he would have deployed, he would still be serving, he would continue to move up rank and do all of the other amazing things he has done in the Corps.  His service is not dependent on me being home taking care of things.  In fact, me being at home, does absolutely nothing other than give him love and support.  And that is true of a spouse no matter what your better half does for a living.  Accountant, police officer, life guard or military service member, it doesn't really matter.  A spouse offers love, support, pride and faith in their spouse.  And while I'm proud of him and happy to offer him love and support in his military career, I have no delusion that I can say I've done anything more awesome than that.

We spouses love our service members.  But we are a support system.  That is all.  I actually heard a spouse today say, "If it wasn't for me doing all the hard work that I do, then he wouldn't be able to do his job." And while I deeply appreciate all that we take on so that our spouses don't have to and I understand how hard that can be at times, they are perfectly capable of doing their jobs without us.  I know absolutely nothing about my husbands MOS.  I would be of no use to him out there, and the last time I checked, I wasn't his assistant or a person in his unit, which means, if anything, I would be hindering his ability to do his job.  And his ability to lead his men, is not dependent on my being at home doing his laundry and walking the dogs.

So, love your service member with all you've got.  Stand by them.  Have pride in what they do and support them, but don't belittle their service and all they do by having the misguided perception that what you do is tougher.  We are the support, but the military will keep running without all of us spouses because it's the service members that are the true backbone.

I wouldn't be a military spouse if it weren't for my husband, but he's a Marine married or not.


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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Rewind 365- A Link Up

One of my favorite blogs, Cammo Style Love, is doing this fun new thing called Rewind 365.  The idea is to share what you were doing a year ago today.

A year ago today, I was still in my training rotations at my (then) new job.  I had just attended ball and started a new job and was terrified.  I had left a job after some terrible experiences and you know what they say, "Once bitten, twice shy."

It's crazy to think it's been a year at my job.  It definitely doesn't feel that way.  Not in a bad way mind you, just that time goes by so fast.  I have met some really amazing people, had some really great times and made some truly awesome friends.  I feel very fortunate that a year ago, I was contacted out of the blue for an interview.  I had applied for a job there in the past and I don't even remember what it was.  I didn't get it, but they remembered me and asked me to come in for an interview.  At my working interview the whole team seemed to really like me and told me that they were going to recommend me for the job.

Just a few weeks later, I was hired and working my training rotations.  Crazy!

Now, I help train the new staff and feel like a family member.  I'm very fortunate to have found such a great place to work and to have found a place that feels like I belong.  Let me tell you, it's tough in a female dominated field to find a staff that isn't full of petty girls who talk crap about each other.  We all get along for the most part and I couldn't ask for a better employer.

What were you doing a year ago? Link up and let everyone know!

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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

My Thoughts On Infidelity

In light of recent events, I’m sure you all know what I am talking about, I’m going to do something I rarely do.  I’m going to tell you exactly what I think, and I am not going to sugar coat it.

Infidelity can happen for a number of reasons.  The man who would never dream of cheating can grow weary and unhappy in his marriage and begin finding emotional solace in the arms of another woman.  The woman who has always stood strong can begin to feel unwanted and unloved and seek appreciation in the arms of another man.  But make no mistake about this: Cheating is never acceptable. 

Whether you have become too emotionally close to another person, or are actually sleeping with them.  Whether your spouse is ignoring you, or you have fallen out of love with them.  I don’t care.  I don’t care if your job is stressful, your husband is never home, or any other reason you may tell yourself justifies your actions. You are wrong. 

When you marry someone, you are pledging to stay with them, love them, and be faithful through good times and bad.  This is not a pledge that is only good during the good times.  You are not telling them that you will only stay faithful when you are both on the same page in life.  This is a pledge, a vow, to be faithful no matter what.

It is irresponsible to think that when you are entering a marriage things will be perfect for the next 80 years.  You will grow apart, you will grow together, you will fight, that is life.  If you are like me, your husband may deploy for a year and come home unrecognizable as the man you married.  You may have to spend years trying to find something to bring you back together.  But you know what?  That’s what you do.  It’s been three years and I NEVER once strayed from my marriage.  We grew apart, we led different lives for an entire year.  That is still not a valid reason to break my vows.  And if you are telling yourself that it is, then you should not be married.

I’m not saying there are not reasons that you may want to cheat.  I’m not saying that I don’t understand them even.  What I am telling you, is leader of the CIA, or housewife, it is your duty to your spouse to tell them how you feel.  If you just walk away, into the arms of another person, how do you expect your marriage to ever improve?  The troubles in your marriage are not going to be magically fixed by having sex with another person and when your life suffers for your choice to do so, you will have no one to blame but yourself.

Being unfaithful damages so much more than your ego when caught.  So the next time you want to feel sorry for an adulterer, consider the family, the children, and the spouse who were sitting at home and blind sided one day with the fact that their spouse betrayed them.  Think about how easily that could have been avoided had that person come to their spouse instead of hopping in bed with someone else.

No marriage is perfect.  There is no magical answer that fixes a marriage in trouble, but sleeping with people outside of your marriage, is definitely not going to solve anything. 


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Monday, November 12, 2012

An Engagement Story: Part Two

Remember my post about my not so romantic, no one says "AWWW" to, not so gushy, not so jealousy inspiring engagement story? If not, check it out here.  But if you do, then here's take two, and three for that matter.  :)


Attempt number two comes in a close second... Or it's a tie.  

The day after getting engaged, we moved into an apartment.  While loading the moving truck, my husband approached me with a large purple, plastic, heart shaped ring from a gumball machine (they were still fitting the diamond into the setting I had picked out the night before).  He presented it to me and in the absolutely least romantic manner he simply said, "Will you marry me."  While I was covered in dirt, standing in the back of a moving van, sweaty from the hot day. Not romantic. 

He opted to use ANOTHER mulligan and plan a third proposal. 

Attempt number three AKA the story I tell people was a bullseye. 

We went to the zoo, which we were prone to do on days we had nothing else going on.  I love the zoo. My favorite thing to see if the Hippos.  I don't know why.  But I'm sure it has something to do with how rare it is to see them out of water.  Hippos spend nearly all of their time in water and generally only get out of the water to forage for food at dusk when the bulk of predators have called it a day. I tell this to my husband every time we see them. 

So, after an afternoon at the zoo, we made our last stop the hippos.  Turns out, that time of year, they would feed the hippos right before the zoo closed.  We happened upon the exhibit right as they were bringing out the bales of hay and various other tasty treats and I watched every hippo our zoo has get out of the water and eat.  It's the first time I've ever seen a hippo out of water in real life... It's the only time I've ever seen a hippo out of water in real life.  

As I exclaimed my excitement, he pulled out another gumball ring and proposed.  He had orchids waiting for me in the car which is my favorite flower.  They were actually fake orchids, but rather expensive ones, which is why it took nearly 5 minutes for me to realize they weren't real.  His reasoning was that that way I could have them forever.  And they sit in a vase on a table in our living room to this day. 



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Saturday, November 10, 2012

It Was Fun While it Lasted

Sadly, I have had to delete the Instagram account that I started less than a week ago.

I have included the letter I sent to Instagram so that you all may understand why.  I'm bummed.  I really liked the app and had a blast using it the short time I did, but I can't overlook privacy issues when my blog is written by the anonymous "A Girl" and that even has it's own email account just so that I can join things like Twitter and Instagram without my two lives overlapping.

What a shame.

*****

I deleted my Instagram account today after less than a week on it. 

I have a blog that I use as the  anonymous "A Girl" and created an Instagram account using the blog email and info.  However, in less than a few hours, I got three requests today from people from my private, personal life, who know nothing about my blog, nor my have my blog related email address.  

When I joined, I went to the "find users" section and gave access to my email account thinking it would only access the account I gave Instagram.  Imagine my surprise when personal contacts from my personal email account, not my blog account, showed up in the resulting search for friends based on email addresses.  I figured it was a glitch and continued to use the app.  Now that I have begun to get requests from people in my personal life who know nothing about my blog, I have realized it is much more likely that Instagram accessed ALL of my email accounts and then utilized that information to "help" me find followers.  

I'm disappointed that an app I enjoyed using so much, and that came so highly recommended by so many in the blogging community, would violate my privacy in such a manner.  I was also disappointed to have to tell me readers that that I had set the account to private and then deleted it a few hours later.  

I did not link the account to my Facebook fan page seeing that there was no way to prevent my personal page from being included, so I'm unsure how the leak would have happened otherwise.  

I have deleted the account because I do not feel my information is safe.  I think you should strongly consider reviewing your privacy policy and amending it to either include the fact that you will do this, or change the currently policy by discontinuing the practice. 



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Friday, November 9, 2012

USMC Birthday Giveaway!

You know what I love? Ball.  You know what I hate? Getting a cold a few days before ball.  But none the less Ball is coming and we will be attending as we do every year.  You know why we go every year? Because it's mandatory attendance. LOL!  But we would go anyway because it's a celebration of the Marine Corps Birthday and, as such, a great excuse to get gussied up and drink the night away while celebrating the history of the USMC.

In honor of the USMC Birthday this November 10th, to celebrate 237 years of service to our country, I'd like to give away a $25 gift certificate to Patriots Surplus (kind of fitting, right?)!  This company has a lot of fun stuff to browse and I suggest you check out their website to check out all of the stuff they have to offer.  And with Veteran's Day coming as well, who doesn't want to have $25 to spend at a place that specializes in stuff for the military man, police officer, or general enthusiast in your life?

They contacted me and offered to let me review a few things for them and do a giveaway for you and I couldn't have been more thrilled to say yes!  What did I order?  Stuff for myself of course! 

I ordered the little flowers in Desert Marpat.  The clasp is your standard pin clasp so that you can pin it to a hat or shirt or what have you.  I love that I could pick my accent color and I went with pink.  Of course, my husband laughed at it, but I think the flowers are super cute and were great for matching to my keychain ring.  I messed up and ordered it in Woodland Marpat, when I thought I had ordered desert, but whatever, I love that I got to have it custom embroidered and was equally surprised at how both items were pretty high quality! I often wonder when I buy things like this and they aren't super expensive, if I'm going to end up with something cheap, but I didn't.


The last thing I ordered was a USMC tank top.  I mostly got it to sleep in when it's warm in the summer, but am still in love with it.  There was no option to order the matching little boyshort undies, which bummed me out, but either way, I was pleased.

The only snag I hit was when my keychain didn't arrive with the rest of the order.  They had emailed me because I had forgotten to put what I wanted embroidered on it, but it never came.  However, when I called to inquire about it, not only was customer service friendly and helpful, but the keychain arrived just a few days later in a handwritten envelope.  They must have really rushed to get it to me that quickly!  To me, good customer service goes a long away and I couldn't believe how much they wanted to make sure I was a satisfied customer.  I would totally order from them again.

Is the $25 gift card not enough to entice you?  Then how about a print from Holly Robertson Photography?  Autumn Light (featured at the top of this post) is such an amazing photograph and, should you win it, you will get a print in metallic, signed and numbered.  You just so happen to get photo number one because Holly loves me like that.  :)  It is 11X14 and will come unmated and unframed.

 So, what do you have to do to enter the giveaway? Comment on this post with who you what you would do with the gift certificate.  Is there someone you would give it to? Is there a special something you've had your eye on?  AND comment with what you will do with the print.  Do you have someone in mind to give it to, or a great place it will look amazing in your house? Let me know!

***The winner will receive both items assuming the entry includes BOTH what they will do with the gift certificate AND the photograph.  The winner will be chosen at random using a random number generator.  If the first winner selected has not met the requirements, another winner will be selected at random.  The entries must be received by November 23rd, 2012.  Good Luck!!!!


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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Paris in Winter

I’m sitting here, eating a croissant with jam and suddenly I’m heartsick for Paris.  Each morning I started my day with a fresh baked baguette, with the most amazing butter and the best jam I’ve ever tasted.

I haven’t had a croissant, a baguette, or even an éclair since being in France.  I suppose it has been my subconscious telling me it will only serve to make my thoughts wander to streets of cobblestone, flowers just poking their stems up through freshly thawed soil and more museums than my mind could process. 

Missing Paris is not that same feeling I have had as missing other things in my life.  It’s nearly a yearning, practically a longing, for a life I’ve never actually lived, but somehow feel as though I have.  It’s a faint memory of a childhood I didn’t experience, but my soul is so familiar with. 

I do not understand why our trip to Europe affected me in such a strong way.  I’d always dreamed of going to Paris and sitting in front of Monet’s paintings.  Many people dream of visiting them.  It’s more of missing the air there.  I miss the feeling of the Parisian energy, the looks on the locals faces when we were wandering side streets not frequented by tourists, but not drawing attention to the fact that we were outsiders looking in. 

I was told that visiting Paris and London during the winter months is a time when you get to see those places most themselves.  I saw Paris unobstructed by the masses of foreign tourists.  I saw Paris just being Paris and it felt like a vague memory. 

Now I find that this croissant reminds me of a life I never lived.  And it makes me sad to think that the buttery croissants I used to love are nothing but a reminder that nothing will compare to my time sitting in little cafes, sipping my morning orange juice, eating my petite dejeuner and wishing with all that my heart has that I didn’t ever have to leave.


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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Little Things

I was proof reading a post today.  That's a fairly normal thing.  Sometimes I write them and save them here on blogger, sometimes I write them in Word and copy them over.  Either way, proof reading, verifying I like what I've written, then scheduling the post is something I do all the time.

Something else I do all the time is to tell my big dogs that they can't come near the part of the couch where I am sitting with my laptop.  They know this, but nudge their way over a few times a day on the off chance I will pet them instead of tell them to go away.  Today was no exception, and Butt Head Number 2 came over and smacked my mouse while I was typing and erased 1/4 of what I had written.  I took some advice and tried to recover the info only to have that erase the entire post.  Gone, in an instant.  I guess I should stop writing directly on blogger.

This all adds an already crumby morning and bad attitude that I've been having today.

When things are like this I find that I have to laugh at the little things... My blog is something I love, but it's just a blog.  My dogs drive me nuts, but they love me even when I'm mad at them.  Is it life or death that my post was erased?  No.  Am I still ticked off about it? Heck yes! I'm not one of those people that can recreate stuff like my blog posts when they are lost.  I'm a writer who must write in the moment, once that moment is gone, it's gone forever and I must wait for my next moment to come.

I've been working on taking the little things and not getting mad.  Examples include:
1. The fact that my new cell phone randomly decides that when I use my keyboard to type, I actually want all of the keys to act as shortcuts to other functions on my phone. It's irritating, but not the end of the world if I don't post something obnoxious on Twitter.
2. My sewing machine went capputs, but I have a back up machine that is cheap and sucks. But it works and that is the point... even if it drives me nuts.
3. I always thaw meat for dinner on the nights that The Boy decides he wants crappy frozen chicken nuggets and the meat never gets used.  Life happens and I know he's fickle.  It's been 6 years, I should know this by now.
4.  Somedays I need a hug and there is no one here to give me one.  You know what sucks? That. But I have dogs who will gladly lay on the floor with me and make me feel unconditionally loved for a few minutes... Until they decide it's play time and they jump all 70lbs of themselves onto me and start licking my head.

I have a lot of little things that can happen, and do happen, in my life on a regular basis that irritate me.  I have stresses that seem silly to my husband.  But I can't change the little things, only the way I deal with them.

My next bloggy moment came when I realized that this post right here needed to be written.  Maybe that was the point all along.


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Monday, November 5, 2012

A Brief Interview with a Super Cool Lady

If you aren't aware of LC over at Faith and Deployments then we can't be friends anymore.  Go ahead, I'll wait while you go to another blog... ;)
The microwavable heating pad. I love this!
Stays warm for hours!

Makeup Brush Roll
Well, LC is a super cool gal who happens to have a super cool small business.  She is the owner of The Running Stitch, which offers a range of fun products, all homemade and sewn by hand.  Well, by machine, but she works the machine, so I think it still counts. 


I love how many pockets there
were for my brushes! And it's such
a cute pattern!
I was lucky enough to get to preview a few of her products before she opened shop in October.  I was give two so that I could review her products.  I contemplated giving one of them away to my readers before they arrived.  Well, I love them both too much to share, so that should tell you something about why you should want to check out her products.  Instead of giving away the items I decided to do a fun interview with her to introduce y'all to her and her business.  

1.  Where did you get the idea to start up your own business?
I've always liked the idea of working from home. Could wake up when I wanted, go running when I wanted, run errands, keep the house up, make appointments all without having to ask for time off from work. So when our move to California let to job rejection after job rejection I vaguely brought the idea up to my husband and he said "yes" and here we are :)
2.  How did you manage to start it up in the middle of a PCS? Are you secretly wonder woman?
I think I greatly under estimated the amount of time a PCS takes. I was really worried once all our stuff was dropped off a week before our opening date it wouldn't get done in time. We managed to unpack our entire 9000lbs in 2.5 days, including hanging pictures. I opened my bank account Friday and business went up live on Monday the 15th. It was a world wind. Definitely not wonder woman, although if my husband asks anyone, I would greatly appreciate the praise :) I think timing had a lot to do with it. I made everything to send off for reviews and giveaways but ONE thing before we moved. I had the luxury of not working our last month in Texas so I did a lot of the prep work right before we left.
3. Where do you draw your inspiration from for your products? (How do you come up with all these cool things?)
 I'm a Pinterest junky. For real. Search for "Cecoraswife" I have thousands of pins and they are all organized. I also have great friends who send me all sorts of links to things that say "make this for me!" or "hey! can you make this?!?!". It's gotten to the point now I can point things out in stores that I can make for half the price or know how much work something took to warrant a high price tag.
4. What would be the best piece of advice you could offer a milspouse (or anyone for that matter) who is wanting to start their own small business?
I was really blessed. I emailed several milspouse bloggers who also own their own business and picked their brain for what they did and how they did it. I'm a big researcher so I did a LOT of research. Checking product, costs, comparing to other homemakers, etc. The best piece of advice I have is start your own business only if you love what you do, even on the hard days. Because some days you're working for free and only for you. So if you don't love it enough to sweat through it, cry through it, or take risks and be prepared to hold your ground, don't do it.
5.  What is your personal favorite thing to sew/that you offer?
My favorite thing is definitely the t-shirt quilts. I have these customers who mail me these shirts that have memories attached to them. Every shirt has a story. Where it came from, how they got it, how long they have had it, who wore it. So taking a precious memory and turning it into a keepsake is an amazing joy. The thought that people let me handle their "keepsakes" is just humbling.
6. Can you tell us about a time that you tried to make something that failed? Or a product idea that didn't turn out as you planned?
HAHA oh man a fail! I'll give you two.
The first one I was probably about 9 and wanted to make a quilt just like Grandma does. I took all my mother's scrap fabric and just sort of cut it into what I thought were squares and didn't pin a single thing together and just went to sewing....with the presser foot up. Without a presser foot on the fabric, it moves every which way and just goes bonkers. Needless to say I had a somewhat "blanket" and was very proud of my creation, but I got bored and didn't put a backing on it and left it to look like a hot mess and gave it to my mom like that.
In college, I was a Theater Management Major (not to be confused with Acting or Directing, I managed the theater aspect of things) and I had to take "costuming". Well, we had to pick a pattern of anything we wanted and create it. So a girl friend and me decided on these really simple dresses. Picked out super cute matching fabrics and went to work. I learned very quickly I have no patience for people clothes. My dress looked like a balloon. Seriously a lime green with polka dots MooMoo was more along the lines. Never again will I make clothes.
7. One random fact about you.
Random fact.....I look and sound like I am 12 years old so no one ever takes me seriously in serious situations. I blow people away when I tell them I am in my mid 20s, married, with a degree. 
8. Shameless plug your business and your blog :)
Shameless plug away: My stuff is awesome :) Well I like to think so, and hopefully you will think so as well. I work really hard and try my best to be as perfect as humanly possible when creating things for others. I'm doing something I love that allows me to meet people and make something worthwhile to them. It isn't just a blanket or a heating bag or a dog shirt. It's something that will be in someone's home and people will see and look at. And I want that to resonate through my work. I hope you stop by and say hello and ask all the questions you want!



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