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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: May 2012

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Silence

I will only talk so long
before I will be silent
I will only try to be heard, only to be rebuffed, so long
before I will be silent
I will only shout so loud
before I will be silent

Know that anyone can be broken, but how we are is the question
My desire will still be there.
My love will still be there.
My heart may be bruised,
But my spirit will be broken.

I can only try so hard
before I will be silent
I can only speak so often
before I will be silent
I can only cry so many times
before I will be silent

Do not worry when I scream
Do not worry when I am angry
Do not worry when I fight...

Worry

When I am silent.


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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Key

It's such a silly thing, but I don't have a key to my own house.

I'm not kidding.  We had to rekey the house just before we left for Europe.  The hubs has a key, the housekeeper and dog daycare people do too.  Our friend has our spare key for emergencies, but I don't have one. I've asked the hubs to make me a copy, or at least have a spare one in the house, but he hasn't followed through...

I generally enter my house through the garage.  My garage door opener works just find and can fit in my purse when I need to leave the house without my car, or have parked my car outside of the garage... But what do I do for running?  The garage door opener is too big to carry with me while I run and I have no spare key.

What a ridiculous dilemma to end up in when you own your house.

It really wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't training for the Tough Mudder... I just need to be able to run in my own neighborhood.  So far, I've been meeting with friends to run, but today, I was going to go on my own with butthead #2 (she is in desperate need of being tired so that I can keep my sanity).

It's about time I get a key to my own house.  What a stupid thing to keep forgetting I need.



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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Gratitude

Gratitude- A state of being grateful: Thankfulness


Gratitude is something I have noticed is deeply lacking in our lives.  I know I have trouble, when things get tough or stressful, remembering to be grateful for all I have.  I know that amongst my friends who have never known a military member I see it.  I see how hard it is for them to be thankful for what they have, for the rights they have been given that were paid for in a way that they can never repay the debt.


There are some things we have that should never be taken for granted. 

So, when this weekend of fun and BBQ's comes and goes, remember.  Remember all that you have to be grateful for.  Take a moment to pause and think of those who gave it all so that you may have it all.  Think of those they left behind.


While you are enjoying the sunshine... Pause for a moment of reflection.
While you are laughing with friends... Keep a thought in the back of your mind.
While you shop, you take a three day weekend, you BBQ, you drink a beer, you see your family and friends... Remember why you are having that BBQ with family and friends, having a cold beer and enjoying your extended weekend.

It is up to us to remember their sacrifice.  To feel the pain of their families and remember what they did was for us, so that we may enjoy these days of laughter without worry.

This is a weekend to honor those who came before, who sacrificed it all for a country they loved and believed in.  This is a weekend to remember the fallen and those they left behind.  A weekend to honor them and to be filled with gratitude for the debt that can never be repaid and to feel honored that so few gave so much to so many. 




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Saturday, May 26, 2012

An Interesting Question

How is a cat like a car?  I don't know that either.  It seems like it should be a riddle like, "Why is the raven like a writing desk?"

Last night, I had a patient come in in kidney failure.  That is a "time is of the essence" type thing.  We need to get the animal on fluids and medications to start supporting the kidneys so that we can stabilize them enough to be managed at home.  That's the hope anyway.

So, we assessed the kitty, spoke with the owners and then I presented the estimate.  The owner understood that there is a high and low end.  We ask for a deposit on the low end (the plan as it stands) with an understanding that it might hit the high end (where things can go with the variety of factors).  The owner was very resistant.  He said he was fine with the low end, but didn't want it to go over the deposit.  It only sort of works that way.

I did my best to explain and answer his questions when he posed an interesting question.  He asked me to explain it to him in terms of his car.  He said when he car is broken, he takes it in and gets an estimate to fix it.  The mechanic has to call before doing anything if it's going to go over the 10% leeway allotted per the estimate.  Why does it not work that way for his cat...

UUUUHHHHHHHMMMMM.....

I was so caught of guard by this comparison.  I paused briefly and replied, "Well, honestly, to me it's because your cat is ALIVE."  Time is of the essence when treating kidney failure and we need to be able to act quickly to save your cats life.

I have never been asked to compare my patient to car and explain why a live animal is not the same as an inanimate object that doesn't suffer if you take a few extra hours to call an owner.

I guess there is a first time for everything.

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Friday, May 25, 2012

Frugal Fridays: Guest Post

I wrote a guest post for someone and didn't know it went live on Tuesday!  And it just so happens to be about how to save money doing laundry.  :)

This is Me; consequently invited me to do a guest post on something fun and it just happens that DIY stuff was one of the topics offered.  Check out her blog and my guest post!


 DIY Laundry Products:
How one Girl avoided eating Top Ramen to pay off her student loans





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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Change


“A person either hates losing enough to change or he hates changing enough to lose. These are the two options available to anyone at anytime.”  -Orrin Woodward, author

You cannot change the person standing in front of you unless you are looking in a mirror.  That is the lesson of the day.  No one can make you want to change unless there is strong evidence that the change is needed.  If you are married to a Marine, that strong evidence is likely a gun to the head.  And even then, I’m pretty sure they would just shoot you first.

So, changes have to be made.  To move forward, to look at the past and appreciate it without resentment, things have to change.  I can’t change what has happened to me.  I can’t change the man who lives in my house, but I can change how I react to it.  I’ve been doing that for ages, but the changes have all still centered around him needing to change. So, a bigger change needs to happen.

Here’s the new big changes in my house:

I will no longer do his laundry.  I feel constantly taken for granted and taken advantage of.  Even when I ask for help, the imbalance in our relationship and how he views me have dictated that his time at work is harder than mine and that he deserves more downtime than I do.  He wins this battle because I need clean clothes and I might as well do all of our laundry at the same time. Well, that’s just not the case now. Neither is wandering around the house for 20 minutes on my days off looking for the random piles of clothing, dirty dishes and garbage he’s left all over.

I sat him down the other day and told him how I’ve been feeling.  Whether or not he loves me is NOT the issue.  Whether or not he respects me is.  So, I told him straight:  I do not feel like you respect me.  I do not feel like you value me or my time as equal to yours.  I will no longer clean up after you or do your laundry.  If you do not respect what I do around the house while still working 45 hours a week, then I feel no obligation to take care of those things for you.  You do not feel any obligation to help me when I ask you to and thus, I no longer feel the unspoken obligation you place on me to take care of everything is valid.

Harsh, I know.  But at some point, I need to be able to stand my ground, not feel heartbroken, and also figure out how to be heard.  The respect thing is something I have said more times than I can count.

How has this been going?  Well, I told him this last weekend.  A month ago, I told him if he was not going to help with the housework, then I would find someone who would… I hired a housekeeper to come twice a month (wink).  It has significantly decreased my desire to rip my hair out every week while struggling to find the time each day to clean, pick up after The Boy, take care of the dogs, run errands, make phone calls, pay bills and also work 40 hours or more.  This weekend, I laid down the new law of how things would run and informed him that the housekeepers were due to come on Wend and they do not fold laundry or pick up, they simply move stuff to clean under it and put it back, and they don’t always move stuff, sometimes they just clean around it.  If he wants to waste money on them coming because he leaves clothes and crap all over the house, then that is his business. 

I then did only my own laundry and only picked up after myself.

Last night, he informed me that he washed his work clothes.  He asked if I had only done my own laundry.  I told him I had. It was a rather rude awakening for him to realize that halfway through the week he had no clean work clothes and I did because I had done my own laundry. He learned this by having dug through my clean laundry and found none of his own.  He then did something miraculous:  He put MY laundry away and did his own. 

Who knows if he will see what I do each week while working full time without help.  But I know that without feeling like I have to pick up after him, my stress level is down.  This might very well be a VERY petty thing to do, but I have no choice at this point.  I have tried to explain verbally to him the lack of respect and the unequal footing we are on and that didn’t work.  I have tried asking for help and presenting a well thought out argument and it hasn’t worked, but I can absolutely change my attitude toward the imbalance in our marriage.  My new attitude is that he can learn by doing.  Maybe if he has to experience it, he will have a better appreciation.  Or maybe he won’t.  Time will tell.  But by changing my attitude, I’m a lot less pissed everyday that I’m picking up his crap again and finding random dirty dishes everywhere… And he has been putting his dishes in the dishwasher now.  So maybe it’s working.




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And the Winner Is....

Thank you all for entering my very first giveaway!  It was great to see everyone so excited about Melissa's products!

The winner was picked at random by the Rafflecopter program.


And the winner is....

Erika!

Congrats Miss Erika!  Please email me for the details of your prize and how to collect your voucher.





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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Stupid Mistake

Well, I've made a very dumb mistake...

I did not verify that the Rafflecopter was on Pacific time and not Eastern time...  Sorry to anyone who has attempted to enter in the last 40 minutes.  :(  It ended as of 12am Thursday, eastern time!  UGH!

This is what happens you are not smart enough to double check that kind of thing.

Well, either way, the giveaway was a great success if I do say so myself and I will post the WINNER in the morning!


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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Check Out My Guest Post over at AKA The Wife


Also Known as the... The Wife is doing an AWESOME series about military marriages.  She has had some wonderful guest posts about the triumphs and struggles faced by those married to the military.  She was kind enough to ask for my perspective... Coming from a marriage that is no longer on solid ground, I wrote an honest look as to why The Boy and I are facing what we are.  

Please check out my post over at:



I selected this post to be featured on Military Blogs. Please visit the site and vote for my blog!



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Sunday, May 20, 2012

Unspoken Law of the Universe

There is some unspoken law of the universe that states "When thy husband is in the field, the shite shall hiteth the fan."

There's always some terribleness that I could really use The Boy during.

The Little One ate something not good on Monday.  She's been doing ok all week, but today she's really not.  I need to watch her and make sure she is ok.  I tend to board the big dogs on drill weekends because back to back 14 hours shifts do not make me a good dog owner at home, and I can never find someone to watch them.  They can't be kenneled that long.  So, now, the dogs are staying an extra night at the dog daycare, The little one is stressing me out and the hubs is not here.

It's not financially ideal for the big brats to stay an extra day, but I can't really have them here either.  Couple my worry about that with the fact that I got a cryptic email from my mom saying she's having surgery, but she's decided to (again, as usual) not return my phone calls.  I'm just sorta burned out when it comes to coping with all the stress. (Not to mention my grandpa)

Rough weekend at work, rough weekend at home, I could use the husband to help with this whole situation and I've had less than 8 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours, but am now too worried about the little one to sleep.   That really doesn't help my stress or my ridiculous paranoia that she is REALLY sick.

She's just so small.  Significant diarrhea is a big deal... But I'm not 100% it isn't just a little cholitis, which she gets, because she is still eating.  She's not truly lethargic, but is borderline...  The problem is, working in an ER, you have a very skewed perspective on things.  On the one hand, we see that one in a million case that has no major symptoms, but turns out it's good our paranoid owner came in because they have some secret awful disease.  On the other hand, if it sounds like hooves, it's probably a horse, not a giraffe.  So, I always end up watching my dogs debating how sick they really are.... But she's sick enough that I don't want to brats here harassing her.

Sigh.  Why does this stuff never happen when The Boy is home.



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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Where Do I Go From Here?


This is a question we have all asked ourselves at one point in our lives.  We have all been standing in a moment and thought, “Well, what now?”  But what do you do when that moment you are standing in, when that place you are in, is your marriage?

My husband and I are not right.  We haven’t been right for years.  We haven’t been right since he called me to say his unit was prepping to come home, but that he was not coming home with them.  No, he did not stay in Iraq, but he chose to stay on base, half a state away from me.  In that moment, I felt utterly betrayed.  How can this man I know and love and adore and would die for tell me that he did not need me the way I needed him.  He did not need me to feel right and whole and to know that all we have been through was going to be ok because we were together again.  I don’t know whose fault it was after that.  Probably both of ours.  I don’t know exactly how and when the fighting began after the silence ended.  I don’t know when he stopped reaching out for my hand when we walked, even though I still reach for his. 

I cannot tell you at what point in the last few years I realized he was slipping away.  His fingers were not longer tangling with mine, his laugh no longer sounded as loud and I had stopped laughing all together.  But I can tell you that one year ago I looked in his face and no longer saw the adoration he once had for me.  I saw what I had been fearing and trying to fight.  He was no longer telling people I was amazing when I wasn’t around anymore.  He was no longer even telling me.

Some very wise person once told me that you can’t change people, they are who they are, you have to accept them for who they are because people don’t change.  Though I do understand that, I truly do, I know that people change.  I know that when my husband, my hero, my rock, my support, the man who used to hide love notes in my school bag and in drawers around the house to tell me he loved me and was proud of me, came home from war and never looked at me the same way again.  The light was gone.  The spark that burned us up when we were angry and equally burned when we were happy had been extinguished.  People change when life changes them.  No, no one is ever going to change because you want them to, but they will change chooses to show you a reason. 

Our life seems to have shown us more than enough reasons.  I saw that when my husband is gone I shut down.  I spent a year looking in the mirror wondering who I was if I wasn’t waking up every day taking care of him.  He was across the world and I had no control over the destiny of him coming home or not and all I could do was think, “someone else is washing his socks now.”  I was suddenly living our life, cleaning our house and lost.  I changed.  I changed because my reason to get out of bed was no longer sleeping next to me and I had to find a new reason to get out of bed.  Some days it felt like the battle of the century.  “All I have to do is get out of bed.  That is all.  Just get out of bed,” I would say.  Then, a little later in the day I would say, “all I have to do is get dressed today.  I don’t have to shower, I just have to put on clothes.”  Those were the days that usually coincided with day 10 of not hearing from a man I couldn’t bear to live without.

And while I was changing because my life had changed, he was across the world changing too.  He was in a place I could never imagine, and life was happening.  For better or worse, life was shaping who he would come home as.  And when he finally did, he came home a man who could no longer bear to look me in the face and tell me I looked beautiful even when I was sick.  He came home a man who wants to be married, but can not fathom what that means because he no longer notices the woman he is married to. 

I cannot change the man he is.  I can scream, beg, fight, kick, argue, explain, and cry, but none of those things alone or together will make him wake and look at me like I am his reason for being.  I can feel the anger.  I can feel the hurt oozing from my pores like sap from a tree.  I am not who I once was, but it never changed the way I feel about him.  I found new reasons to get out of bed, but it did not change that fact that I married him because I knew my purpose in life was to be his rock.  But I struggle every day with the feeling that I am no longer his.  He found new reasons to be who he is, and it does not appear that I was one of them.

I do not know whose fault it is that we are here, in this moment.  Who changed most?  Which change was the one that severed our bond, that broke our light, that extinguished the fire that burned so hot in our life?  I don’t know. But here we are, in a moment, in a place, where I’m standing, feeling lost, scared, unsure, and wondering:  Where do I go from here?


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Friday, May 18, 2012

Welcome to Frugal Fridays!!!

I have decided to start a little series on my blog called Frugal Fridays.

Each Friday (I hope, fingers crossed) I will post bits and tips about how I save us money without much hassle.   From homemade, all natural cleaning products, to things I do in our budget that cut our costs, I hope to share with you things I've learned along the way.

Being married to A Boy who isn't in love with cutting lifestyle is tough, when you are A Girl who is not great at justifying spending money.  What do you do when your spending styles don't mesh?  It's a common issue and a hard balance to find.  When one spouse wants to eat out and buy junk food that is expensive and one is always thinking, "It's cute, but is it $30 cute?" you better believe that you are going to butt heads.  My solutions?  Find ways to cut our spending, cut our budget and save us money, without it being a constant battle.

No, potato chips are not essential to life, but to afford treats like that, sometimes other things have to go.

Step one: I wanted to cut waste, cut chemicals and cut cost.  But earth friendly products are so expensive!!!

Enter Star Fiber.

 


This is going to be one of the very few things that I love and use that is an expensive up front cost.  But you know how I cut it?  Fairs. As in County Fair.  This company goes around the country to all of the big fairs and sells their product at a hugely discounted price.  They have a starter kit that includes a mop as well.  I think my starter kit cost me $60-70 when I got it 6 years ago.

I have spent the last 6 years slowly and patiently waiting each year for the fair so that I can buy something new.   I have a lovely collection of extra clothes, heavy duty mop heads for my dog messes, and scrubby pads that are great for cleaning the oven.  There is no need to have a bunch of extras of things, but I'm not big on doing a load of laundry for three towels, so I have extras just in case I don't do laundry before I need them again.

The website wants to dazzle you with technical jargon about how this specialty microfiber is made.  I don't care about that. What I care about is that I bought these cloths 6 years ago and am no where needing to buy new ones.  I can clean my whole house top to bottom with 2 cloths.  One wet, one dry.  Dry, these act as dusters that are more effective than Swiffer dusters.  Wet, they will take Aquanet off a mirror with a streak free shine.  Tooth paste doesn't stand a chance and dog slobber on my windows vanishes.  I do not need any cleaning chemicals.  The mops can be used wet to mop and will take black scuff marks off your wood floors.  Dry, they are the best broom ever.

My tip:  Air dry them.  They will last twice as long if you do not dry them in the dryer.  Just follow the washing instructions, air dry and go.

Now, I do sometimes need to disinfect things.  These clothes can do a lot, but they do not disinfect.  But I also have a recipe for DIY Chlorox wipes...

But that is a tip for another week.  :)


PS.  Star Fiber did not endorse my endorsement!  I honestly LOVE these products.  Though, if you Star Fiber people are reading, I would LOVE a few more mop heads. LOL!



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Guest Post on Cammo Style Love

A few weeks ago I was asked to write a guest post about reserve life.  Check it out on Cammo Style Love!    Let me know what you think!

It was such an honor to be asked to write for such a great blog!






And don't forget the Giveaway!!!!  There is a button on the sidebar to make it easier for you to enter!


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Thursday, May 17, 2012

I'm just too excited: It's GIVEAWAY TIME!!!!!

I know I said I would start the giveaway when I hit 35 likes on the new FB page, but I'm too impatient!  I love to give gifts and can never wait to give them!  LOL!

So, I'm pleased to announce that I'm doing my first giveaway in honor of my birthday month and just because I thought it would be fun.  :)





Melissa from Melissa's Jewelry and Accessories did an AMAZING custom piece for me last year.  I was so please with how it turned about and it was such a wonderful process working with her to get to my final design.  She is also a fellow military spouse. 

She has kindly agreed to sponsor this giveaway for a $15 gift certificate to use on her website (limited to non-sterling silver and non-special order items) and a "My Hero" Necklace when the winner places their order.   


This is an example from the My Hero collection

She does wonderful work and I encourage you all to check out her website.

If you can hang in there, I will get pictures of the work she did for me up soon!  I need to get my camera working!  LOL!

Good luck to all of you!  




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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

New address

I've changed the web address to my blog.  Please bare with me while I convert my button and other such items over to it.

Also, if you have links to my blog, please update them.

Thanks!  Sorry if this is a pain!


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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I have a question for you.

Ok, so I have a few questions to anyone (if anyone does) who reads my blog on a regular basis.

1.  If I were to set up a Wounded Warrior Project fundraising page for the Tough Mudder event I'm doing, would anyone donate to it if I put a link on my sidebar?  I wouldn't care if you only gave a $1, I just want to know if people would be interested in supporting not only me for my event, but the Wounded Warrior Project which the event is in honor of.

2.  Would anyone be interested in reading a new series I had in mind?  It's called Frugal Fridays.  The idea is that each Friday I will post ways that I have cut our spending to help us reach our financial goals. It can range from tips, to recipes for cleaning or food, things like that.

3. Anyone ever use the Nike+ stuff?  I really want a new iPod for running and training for the Tough Mudder.  I guess the Nano's have the ability to track my distance and such and sends it to this website run by Nike that helps you track your stats.  The other option is to get Nike+ shoes (which they have these ones I REALLY WANT) and put a sensor in your shoe.  Just curious if anyone is using the website and Nike+ stuff to do this.

4.  If anyone is and I decided to either get my dream shoes (yeah right, they are over $100) or a new iPod, which is more likely, would anyone want to be a virtual running buddy?

Also, I would like to inform you all that my new FB page only needs 12 more "likes" for the giveaway to begin!  I'll give you a hint to the prize: The company is run by a fellow Milie!  :)
 

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Monday, May 14, 2012

Good news and Bad news

I'll give you the good news first because that's how I like to have it.

The good news is A Girls FB page is at 17 likes.  That makes us just about half way to the giveaway announcement.  :)  Remember, it's 35 likes needed.  I'm super excited about the prize I have, so I really want you all to check out my page.  It's nothing super exciting, since it's new and I'm still working on it, but I keep ya updated on my new posts, on news in our life and on the random things that pop in my brain.  :)  Given that I live on sarcasm and brattiness, it can be entertaining.  Well, I think I'm funny, I can't speak for the rest of the population.  :)

Now for the bad news.  I'm warning you, it's very, very bad news. Feel free to not read on...

My grandfather was diagnosed with stomach cancer a few weeks ago.  It's not a great cancer to have.  In fact it's the second leading cause of death in cancer patients.  The first is lung cancer.  I didn't have high hopes for a good prognosis, no matter how painfully optimistic my family has been.

Well, the word is in.  My grandpa's cancer has metastasized to his liver.  This makes it terminal with no hope.  He has decided to do chemo.  I honestly don't know why because he only has a few months to live anyway.  But it's his decision and I hope it's the right one.  He is getting his affairs in order and attending all of his doctors appointments and once things are settled, we will begin the process of saying goodbye and taking turns visiting him.

Stomach cancer is one of the worst ones you can get.  It's asymptomatic until the end stages, so most people are not able to be treated.  It's highly treatable on the off chance you catch it early, but no one ever does.

I'm still trying to figure out how to cope.  I don't really know how to feel or deal with all of this.  I'm not close to him emotionally, but I see him often and he has always lived close to us.  He's been a hard man to live with in my life.  He's been distant and difficult, but he's also always been my grandfather.  How am I supposed to feel?  I'm not sure.  I feel confused.  I feel sad, but feel like I'm not sad enough.  I'm worried about that.  Am I bottling things up?  Probably.  The reason I'm good at the job I do is because I'm amazing at being emotionally distant during difficult situations.  I'm calm, cool and collected.  Not to say I'm not compassionate and understanding, but I do not get emotionally involved.  To be honest, I'm like that with most everyone in my life except The Boy.  A large part of that is due to how my family is.

So, how do I cope with this news?  I don't know.  I'm not in the optimist denial my family is.  I'm realistic and have been since I got the initial news of his diagnosis.... I'm realistic about what is going to happen.  But being realistic, and understanding doesn't help me know how to deal.   I guess we will see where this journey my family is on will take me...


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Sunday, May 13, 2012

An Interesting Musing

A fellow military spouse recently asked how we all felt about those bumper stickers that say "Wife, toughest job in the military"type stuff. I was actually quite surprised at the deeply strong reactions people had to these stickers!

So many wives strongly voice opinions that they are awful.  We are not in the military and our job as a wife in the family doesn't give us rank, nor does it compare to what our husbands do.  So many found it to be offensive.  Not a single person said, "Oh, I LOVE THEM!"

I see these type of sayings all over the internet, on cars when I'm driving, on shirts and FB.  It's everywhere.

I will say, I'm not the biggest fan of this saying for the reasons stated above and I do echo the sentiments of those other wives.  I don't have a really strong reaction to them.  I generally roll my eyes and try to think of when my husbands convoy was hit by an IED.  When a man was injured, when there was shooting and panic to secure the area and assess the damage.  Is me sitting at home, eating all the good food, sleeping in the middle of the bed while crying that I haven't heard from him in 10 days, as hard as that?  No.  It's not even close.  But I do understand why those stickers and items are out there.  What we wives do is not easy.  My civilian friends are not sitting at home wondering if their accountant spouse is going to come home alive tonight.  They are not trying to muddle through life on their own suddenly being both mother and father, but unsure of how to explain to their 6 year old why daddy still isn't home from work 6 months after he left.

We have many unique challenges in this life.  It's a strange existence we live.  It's one that no one can understand who hasn't lived it.  I get why wives want to announce to the world that we've got it tough.... But I do sometimes feel like those stickers are a bit self congratulatory.  Personally, I'm proud to stand by my husband and support him.  It's always very odd to me when people shake my hand and thank me.  I'm not doing anything other than loving my boy.  That love comes with it's obstacles, but hey, people have done stranger things for love, just look at Van Gogh.  :)

I'm not offended by them.  I just think they are a little silly.  But, in all fairness, this post is coming from a girl who has a USMC wife license plate holder (bought by my Marine) and a bumper sticker next to it that says, "Sexually Deprived For Your Freedom"  LOL!.  I mean, check out my little button on the side of the page.  HAHA!  So maybe, I'm not in a place to have an opinion at all.

What are your thoughts on those sayings being used by spouses?


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Friday, May 11, 2012

MIlspouse Appreciation Blog Hop!

We'll see if I do this right...

In honor of the Military Spouse Appreciation day, Household 6Diva  and Riding the Roller Coaster are hosting a blog hop.



Let the Hop Begin!!!

Hello!  I'm A Girl, of A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps (formerly Deployment Woes).  Just over six years ago I met my wonderful husband through work.  He was fresh home from a deployment with the USMC reserves.  He has now been in for nearly 10 years, it will be 10 years this summer.  We married 4 years ago on the leap year and immediately went through our first deployment as a couple.

I started this blog to cope with the deployment.  Being a reserve wife, we don't have other wives near by to support each other, so I was looking for a way to get out what was being bottled up inside of me.  I found this amazing community of spouse bloggers and the rest is history.

Meet the Family:

The Little One, our 4 year old Min Pin dressed as a Velociraptor for Halloween. She was my wedding present from the hubs.



 Butthead #1, our 1.5 year old Doberman dressed as a Triceritops for Halloween.  He was the Boys welcome home present from his deployment- though we didn't get him until a year after he'd been home. 



 This is Butthead #2 our 1 year old Doberman dressed as a cavewoman for Halloween.  She was our "unplanned" addition to the family in October.  HAHA!  We happened upon an adoption event for a purebred rescue trying to educate the public about Dobermans at our local pet store.  She came home on a trial basis and never left. 

Me:
I'm a 20 something Vet Tech at a busy ER and Specialty Hospital in the Seattle area.  I work crazy hours and absolutely love my job.  I was going through school during the deployment, so it was very stressful and I'm just proud of myself for graduating and getting out alive!  :)  I spent the first bit of time as a housewife and have gone in and out of being a housewife depending on where we have been in life.  Right now, I'm enjoying my job and looking forward to completing our financial goals with the help of my income.  Then, I'll think about going back to being a full time dog mom and wife... But maybe not, since I love my job so much.  :)

The Boy AKA the Hubs:
He's also 20 something.  He's been in the USMC reserves for nearly 10 years and loves it.  He forbids my discussing his MOS or his rank, but suffice it to say, I'm proud of his service and he just picked up an advancement in rank.  :)  He has a civilian job he hates, but he plans to leave this year and pursue his dreams of some form of law enforcement.

Things are not perfect in our life, far from it.  We have been having struggles in our marriage ever since he came home and have been trying desperately to find the balance we need to find peace in our house, but we are trying.

This is a little blog to help me cope with all that happens when you are just a girl, married to a boy, who is married to the Marine Corps.

You can also keeps tabs on our crazy life via FB using the sidebar link.  (Don't forget I'm doing a giveaway once my new FB page reaches 35 likes)

Happy Milspouse appreciation day!  I'm honored to have met so many amazing, courageous, strong spouses on my journey as a USMC wife and look forward to meeting many more!


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Happy Milspouse Appreciation Day! And then some!

I absolutely love that Milspouse Appreciation Day is today.  Today is my birthday!!!!!!  Hurray!!!!  Except I will be working.  I work every year on my birthday.  It's a sad truth.

Either way, I'm celebrating the anniversary of my 26th birthday.  I decided during the hubs deployment that I was no longer going to age and I am going to be 26 forever.  ;)

I do want to say that without all of the AMAZING women in this community, I never would have made it though the deployment that prompted me to start this blog.  A newly wed without a husband, I turned to a blog to cope and y'all came out of the woodwork to support me and tell me I wasn't alone.  I never could have dealt with life if not for you guys.

Milspouses are some of the most amazing people I've ever had the honor to associate with.  Such strong, compassionate and caring people.  You are all ready at the drop of a hat to support complete strangers and listen when they need to talk.  You deal with more in a single morning that most do in entire years and you do it with a smile and a strength I hope someday I can achieve.  I'm more than honored to be allowed to consider myself amongst your ranks and I aspire to someday be all that you all are.

Thank you for all you do and who you are.  Thank you for helping me and holding me up and giving me strength during a difficult time.  I'm so glad that there is a day to appreciate you.  You all deserve it!




PS:  Don't forget the giveaway!  I'm at 15 followers!  Only 20 more and the giveaway can begin!  I really want to start it since I'm so excited about the prize and it's half in honor of my birthday!!!!   Let's get those likes!!!!


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Thursday, May 10, 2012

My First Giveaway!!!!

In honor of my birthday this weekend and of my new name and Facebook page, I'm pleased to announce my very first GIVEAWAY!!!!!

When I get 35 "likes" on A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps's Facebook page that is.  I'm such a tease!

You can access the FB page through the button on the right of this blog or by going on to FB and searching.  :)  If you want to spread the word to others who might like my blog and want to join the giveaway, I suggest you grab my button and link directly to here so others can like my FB page too!  :)

When I get 35 "likes" I'll announce the awesome prize and how to enter.  :)



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Monday, May 7, 2012

The Inevitable Question: Why? - A guest post

Hello all!

As you know, I've had a lot going on and it means that a wonderful guest post I have never got posted. I'm not always a good blogger, sorry.   

But I'm please to post it now!  This is a wonderful lady who has a FABULOUS blog I hope you will all run right over to and start to follow.  She was also a finalist for Best Military Spouse Blogger for the Military Bloggers Conference this year.  

I asked her to do a guest post about why she started her blog and why she blogs in general.  So here it is:


The inevitable question, WHY?

There are a few questions that are constantly asked of bloggers, I am no exception to these rules. These include what was the deciding factor in why I started in the first place, why did I name my blog what I did, and why do I still blog? I can always answer the first two no problem, the third is a different story entirely.

My blog name Forget The Dog Not The Baby, was inspired by a newfound outlook  on life that I discovered after my husband was injured in Iraq in 2007. He came home a different man, I knew that, everyone else knew that, but I’m not totally sure he did. When he was finally diagnosed more than a year later, with Traumatic Brain Injury, Post Traumatic Stress, COPD, and a laundry list of other things, I had to make several adjustments in my own life to make sure that his needs were met on a daily basis. That he would continue to fight for the life that he had been given. I couldn’t bear to see him waste this “second chance.”  I couldn’t bear to lose him. I made a vow to myself that no matter what it took I would learn to not only live with all this but to thrive through it, that we would learn to compensate together for his shortcomings and accept that some things would never be the same. Essentially that’s what Forgetthedognotthebaby.com boils down to-compensation. We KNOW he is going to forget SOMETHING-EVERYDAY, there is no exception, so instead of letting it ruin our day, our life, our relationship we used it to develop a motto. If something has to be forgotten, or undone, its ok, there are other greater things that usually come from it, and there you have forgetthedognotthebaby. IF he HAS to forget SOMETHING, I am ok if he forgets the dog, he is kind of self sufficient, but if he forgets the baby, we WILL have words!

Why I started blogging you can kind of already piece together from the above statement, I was angry, I was frustrated, I had a stranger in my bed and I had no where to turn, so I turned to “paper” sort of.  I started out emailing myself, and then just deleting them to get it out, I even wrote some on real paper and burned them, until I got the MP’s called on me, that was an experience. Apparently bonfires are NOT allowed in housing. Then a friend told me about blogging, she said it can be password protected, no one had to see it but those I allowed access, so I started one. I allowed a few close friends and family members in at first and then I got sick of giving out the password, so I opened it up to the public, I kind of figured no one would really read it anyway. It was more for me than anything else, and I felt better getting it all out. I was unaware that blogs had the ability to take on a life of its own. I dropped the ball on that one.
So, here I am 3 years later, still blogging. Why? I get asked that all the time, and until this year I really didn’t have a solid answer, and after watching my blog grow, and become an asset to those around me, now I know. I don’t blog so much for the ME I am today anymore, but for all the “ME’s” out there who are where I was 4 years ago. For those who have been thrust into this life and have to continue down the path I am following, but a few steps behind. I want them to know they are not alone, to know that the hurt, and the heartache, the good and bad moments are all okay. We are human, and this is real stuff we are dealing with, we have to lean on each other for support and guidance, or we will never thrive.

Kristle Helmuth is a 25 year-old Army veteran, wife of a wounded warrior, and mother of two precious children. She is currently working toward her B.S in Communications and digital media. Forget The Dog Not The Baby, Kristle’s blog started as an outlet for her to share her experiences regarding her husband’s injury in Iraq, and their journey through healing. Since being featured in Fort Riley’s award-winning newspaper, The First Infantry Division Post, her blog has taken on a personality of its own, earning her a spot on the Top 50 Helpful PTSD Blogs bywww.onlinecollegedegrees.net, and a nomination for the Best U.S. Military Spouse Blog in 2011, and again in 2012. at the Military Bloggers Conference in D.C.
Kristle has spent her free time volunteering for military support organizations including Operation Homefront, The USO, CAUSE, Hike For Our Heroes, Wounded Warrior Project, Military Warrior Support Foundation, and many others. Kristle understands firsthand the struggles that our nation's heroes and their families face, and has devoted her life to ensure that those struggles do not go un-noticed.


If you would like to vote for one of the many talented bloggers nominated for awards at this years Mil Blog Conference category click HERE!