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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: I love and hate my job sometimes

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Monday, July 9, 2012

I love and hate my job sometimes

I received some very sad news on the 4th.  Just 15 minutes before our guest were to arrive for a BBQ, my mother called to inform my that my aunt had died.  She has been failing in health for a number of years and had been suffering strokes.   Her most recent strokes were affecting her ability to swallow and chew.  She had suffered a few cases of aspiration pneumonia and the likes.  On the 4th, she began to choke while eating and ultimately choked to death.  A very horrible and sad way to die.

Because my grandfather is dying of cancer, the family has been flying in very frequently to be near him.  He is currently working to fulfill his bucket list and is not always home, but when he is, they are there to help him get to appointments and such.  It just so happened as a result of this, that my whole family was in town when my aunt died, so they decided to have a dinner Saturday night in her honor.

I spoke to my boss who tried to help me find someone who would trade me shifts on Saturday so that I could be with family.  No one would trade on such short notice.  My boss, feeling horrible for me, agreed to work the first half of my shift.

I was called mid afternoon by my job.  I answered without a "hello" and simply stated that I was NOT going to go into work early, my boss was working for me.  I was informed that she had called out and they were busy.  I told them I was going to be an hour south.  As I was getting ready to walk out the door to head for the dinner, I was called in to work being told that they were extremely busy.  Because this was not covered by bereavement leave definitions, I feared reprisal if I were to refuse.  I cried in my living room for 20 minutes after calling my mom and telling her I couldn't make it.  I then gathered myself and headed into work.

I was pissed to say the least and did my best to NOT murder, maim and other wise hurt take it out on my coworkers and proceeded to have an intensely busy shift filled with frustration, lack of communication, and not enough staffing to cope.  I fought back tears my entire shift.

It's situations like these that I HATE my job at an ER.

That said, we ended up having to call in my boss as well, due to needing more staff.  She found out I had been called in early and missed my family dinner.  She showed up, dealing with her own personal crisis, and apologized to me.  She explained that she had told them that they were to call her, not me, if they should need help.  It was not made clear to them that it was unacceptable to call me.  She was trying to protect my personal life and did not tell them that my aunt had died, though people on staff were aware... I'm trying not to be mad that some of those people were part of the decision making group that called me in... Either way, she felt awful, I felt awful and we all had a terrible night.

It's stuff like that that make me LOVE/HATE my job.

When things finally quieted down in my triage world, I helped the other nurses get caught up on their treatments and clean up our messes and stock.  My shift lead approached me and told me that I should go home.  Not because I had done anything wrong, but because her and the other nurse were pretty upset that I had been called in and felt that I deserved to have a chance to go home and mourn.

It's people like that that make me LOVE my job.

It was tough to have to go through it.  I'm still mourning.  I have such fond memories of my aunt.  Maybe in the morning, I'll write a post about her so you can all love her like I do...

I'm mourning the loss of an uncle who died in February, while we were in Europe.  I still struggle with that.  I might share some stories of him as well.

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1 Comments:

Blogger chambanachik said...

I'm so sorry. :( That's a lot to deal with at once without work making it harder.

July 9, 2012 at 2:46 PM  

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