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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Tough Decision

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Tough Decision

I've been fairly silent this week.  That is why I have been having periodic guest posters... I knew this would be happening at some point and needed wonderful people to fill the space.

This week we made a tough decision.  We decided to ask my work if I could switch to part time for a while.  I'm hoping it's temporary.  But who knows how long it will be.

This may not seem tough, but it's been tougher than I thought.  Never mind the missed income.  We will survive.  Money isn't everything.  Money doesn't change the fact that I can't cope with the stress of my job and then come home and deal with our life all at once.  My husband needs me home more for the time being and I need to be home to have time to deal with our life so I don't constantly feel like I can't catch up.  He is still mostly unable to help at all.

I approached my shift lead to see if she thought it would be possible and she told me that she felt they would be willing to try.  She said she thought I was valuable enough that they wouldn't want to lose me.  I secretly told her (because she's also a friend) that this was our hail mary to keep me from moving out.  It was nice to hear that they think I'm valuable.  Then I got the letter in my box.  The letter telling me that my review was done and that I earned a raise because they think I'm doing such a good job and they hope it will entice me to keep it up.  They haven't been consistently give out raises over the last year.  Insert painful feeling of letting them down.... right about HERE.

I went to my boss and spoke with him Wednesday.  I told him I understood it was a big request and that I'm happy to work with them.  I love it there and whatever they need me to do is fine.  I'd be happy to work relief for the time if that works better.  He told me he is ok with me going part time if we can make it work in the schedule.  He would prefer not to lose me... Insert deep pain in chest.... Right about HERE.

I love my job.  I know it's just a job, I can always find a new one.  But it's taken time to find one that I love this much.  The people are great (most of the time), it's a supportive environment that never makes me feel stupid, oh, and did I forget to mention that they like me and think I'm very good at what I do?  Sucks.

My husband needs to come first.  I know that too.  I'm more scared about what happens when it's time to return to full time, I think.  What days and shifts will be available?  Will I have been there enough to know the new people we just hired?  What will happen to my benefits?  Will I love them and have to start over?  How are we going to deal if I do?  I LOVE my schedule right now and I am scared of losing it too...

I don't know.  It seemed like such an easy decision when we were sitting in our living room talking about it.  It seemed like no big deal.  Now I feel sad to be giving up my schedule and facing the unknown at work.

I keep telling myself that my career isn't everything... I just worked so hard to get where I am.  But it's not forever.  It's just a few months or so.  And it's something we need to try before saying I need to move out...  I just didn't realize how tough it was going to be.  I'm having to stop myself from running to work and taking it back.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Doc's Girl (Noel) said...

I'm glad they're willing to work with you because they value you. That's almost priceless with jobs these days. Don't feel bad at all, you'll get to keep your job, yet go part time and focus more on your family, and they're willing to work with you on that. And you'll open up a spot for someone else to work part time, thus being able to help out someone else who might be in desperate need of employment right now :)

June 22, 2012 at 9:25 AM  

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