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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: November 2011

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Something Sweet

So, in this black mood of mine, I have had a little bit of a sunny day.  :)

I really wanted to get the new Nook Touch, but I have a Nook and I just got it for my birthday back in May.  I was so sad when just a month later the new Nook was released.  I really wish the girl at Barnes and Nobel would have told me.  The Nook Touch has all the features that I had said in my head that I wish my original Nook had.  :(

I tried to come up with a valid excuse to get a new one, but I couldn't.  I tried to see if I could sell my Nook and use the money to buy a new one.  I tried to reason my way into it, but just couldn't justify it.

Well, on Black Friday, the new Nooks went on sale, in limited supply, for just $79.  I couldn't go wait in line for it because I had to work and so did the hubs.  None of my friends were able to get it and I was sad. It's such a good price and I couldn't figure out how to get one, let alone justify it.

But... last night, the hubs handed me a bag and in that bag was the NEW NOOK TOUCH!!!!!!  He knew I wanted it so badly and new that I would never get it for myself.  He got up super early, unbeknownst to me, and went and stood in line, in the freezing cold, before work on Black Friday.  He must have been up super early because the store he went to only had 30 of them!!!

I can't believe it!  It's so unlike my husband to do something like that and it was so pleasant a surprise!  I absolutely love it and am so excited!

What a sweet gesture on his part.  He knows I don't generally just buy stuff for myself and he knows that I feel like I can't justify getting stuff just because I want it.  It was so sweet of him to buy it for me in secret just because.  He did laugh and say it was part of my Christmas present.  I told him it could be my whole present.  I LOVE that he did this for me.  We've been struggling so much lately and it nearly brings tears to my eyes that in the midst of the struggle in our relationship, he did something like that.  Something so out of character that he knew I would never guess.

My new Nook will be great for when my head hurts and the TV screen is too bright.  It was be so nice to have on the plane to Europe (the battery last for up to a MONTH!) and I'm just so thrilled beyond words.  Sometimes, even when you think things are bleak and there might be no hope, there can be a little bit of sweet in that bitterness.

Sigh- when he does stuff like this, it reminds me why I keep try, why we keep holding on, and why I married him.  :)  It makes me remember that everyone struggles and we can still love each other through our struggles.  <3

Monday, November 28, 2011


Love is NOT all you need.  I hate that I grew up thinking the Beattles were right only to find out as a adult how wrong they were.

Friday, November 25, 2011

If you don't have something nice to say...

Well, I might be taking a bit of a hiatus from my blog.

Winter is a tough time for me because I suffer from SAD.  That, and the holidays bum me out because my family doesn't seem to be interested in me at all or having me be present.  It's the ever ridiculous cycle:  If I get told about the holidays and actually make it, they are all jerks to me or don't bother talking to me at all.  If I don't go, either because I'm not actually invited and privy to the details (such as yesterday), or because I have to work, I catch crap for not attending the next time I see everyone.  It wears me out.

So, since I prefer NOT to be a constant Debbie Downer, I figure I should take a little break from blogging, unless I actually have something nice to say.

In the past, I have just continued to blog through my bad moods, but I feel like most of you don't really enjoy listening to me whine and lament about stupid stuff simply because I'm in a bad funk.  :)

So, until my funk is lifted, I will suffice it to say: I hope you all have an absolutely WONDERFUL winter season and holiday season.  I wish you all the Merriest of Christmases and the Happiest of Holidays!  May your Black Friday be spent safely away from the crazies that trample people!  If you are shopping today, may you get the best deals available!

Today marks the 3 month count down to my trip to Europe, for which we still have no money.  Thank goodness the plane tickets are paid for!!!  :)  I will attempt to get out of my funk by enjoying the planning process of my trip and hope to see you all on the shinier side of my little black rain cloud mood.  :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Where am I going?

Wow! Not to have too sorta heavy posts in a row, but Life seems to be weighing heavily on my mind lately...

I'm a vet tech, for those of you who don't know.  I would love to finish my four year degree, but in what?  I can become a veterinary technologist VS technician (which is what the tech stands for currently).  It would give me an extra letter behind my name of Erin, LVT.  :)  But part of me has always wanted to finish my original degree in forensics psychology.  And another part of me says I should be a human nurse.  Same job, different species.  LOL!  But humans give me the heebie jeebies, so I would have to go into pediatrics.  I think kids are most like dogs and cats.  You can't reason with them, they don't understand you are trying to help, they bite, kick and scream and sometimes they poop and pee on you.  HAHAHAHA!

The husband and I keep talking about buying the property we want and moving the heck out of here, but that isn't for a while.  We would have to build a house and all of that and that will be a long term goal, if we get there.

I want to get my Vet Tech specialty, but can't really decide in what.  It will likely be in ECC (emergency and critical care) which I love.  But part of my has always wanted to try to make my way to a zoo or aquarium someday.  But that is super hard to do, so I don't know that I ever will.

Where the heck am I going in life?  I have no stinking clue!!!!  I love the quote from the speech back in '97 "Don't feel guilty that you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't." :)

I guess that sort of sums up my existence right now... I'm probably going to be the interesting 40 year old y'all know who doesn't know what she wants to do with her life.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Life

Sometimes life just gets the best of you. 

Sometimes I find myself sitting there thinking, "how did I get here? Why does it always feel like I'm swimming up stream? Does everyone feel this way?"

I'm sure they do. I'm sure we all do sometimes.

My migaine is the worst it's been in ages today, the holiday season isn't looking promising, and a million other things. But you know what? I have things to look forward to.

So, my trip to europe won't be the trip of my dreams... it looks like we can't afford to see paris or any of the other things I wanted to do. But you know what? I've always wanted a passport and I got one. And in three months, there will be a stamp in it. And even if there is only ever that one stamp, that will be something.

And sometimes, it sucks to not have many friends or be close to my family, but I have a home filled with dogs who adore me and a husband who makes me laugh (and sometimes makes me want to punch him in the face) and really, that is what family is. Love mixed with irritation lol! It doesn't matter if the ones who love you are human, or even blood related.

And, lying here in the dark, nursing my pounding head, I can't help but think that we all have something wonderful waiting for us. Trying times happen. even the happiest people feel sad at some point, and, maybe it's the pain meds making me fuzzy, but I just know that tough times happen for a reason. Even if it's just to make us appreciate what we have and realize that we don't need everything we want to be happy.

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present. ~ sir francis bacon

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Family

Do you ever wish you were closer to your family?  Not in distance, but emotionally?

I love my family.  Most of the time.  So, they can be jerks, and they tend lack consideration, but I love them.  I just wish they loved me too.

Even my mom, who I used to be extremely close to... It's like her and my dad were just waiting until I got married and was no longer their problem.  They never call and when I call them, they don't have time to talk to me.  Pretty much since the day I walked down the aisle. I distinctly remember that being the year that her and my dad stopped putting much effort into spending time with me or even calling.

I called my mom today for instance, since her birthday was a few days ago.  I emailed her on her birthday because I was working all day and into the evening and it was too late to call when I got home.  She doesn't seem to know or understand texting, so I emailed and figured I would call on my day off.  She told me a bit about the weekend away they took to celebrated and then asked if I was going to be at Thanksgiving or Christmas.  When I said I hadn't even been contacted about Thanksgiving, she still seemed a bit surprised that I had, thus, not planned on being there.  I had no idea who was hosting, since my great aunt has been saying for the last two years that she wasn't going to host it anymore, and I still don't know what time dinner even starts.  I told her I would likely have to work on Christmas, but even if I don't have an official Christmas shift, my Christmas Eve shift doesn't end until 4am on Christmas day, so it's unlikely I will be present.  She seemed irritated....

However, I call her, on average, once a week.  She never talks to me for more than a few minutes.  She immediately gets off the phone if my dad comes home from work (such as tonight when I called, in spite of not having talked to me in a while) and doesn't seem interested in anything going on in my life.  She didn't even contact me to tell me her and my dad were going out of town last weekend.  I have offered to have them visit us for dinner more times than I can count and they haven't come yet.  My dad hasn't been here since the house warming party (mind you we bought our house three years ago) and my mom hasn't been here since my husband deployed. (for those of you counting, he left in Dec of '08)  What does that say about my family.

But my mom always seems miffed that we can't make the hour drive (each way) to visit on short notice.... Not that she's invited us down lately... Or at all in the last 1.5 years.

The rest of my family?  Well, the last time I heard from my aunt, was because she wanted to know if I wanted my great grandmothers vanity.  Oh, and if I did, could I please find out how much it will cost to ship it from SoCal to here, oh, and pay for it?  Thanks.  Oh, and you need to be able to do that and come up with the outrageous amount of money in two weeks.

I haven't heard from a single other family member.  No one bothered to tell me my uncle is coming in for Christmas from NY or I might have tried to get Christmas day off.  But hey, the last time any of my relatives visited, they spent more time visiting friends than making time for the hubs and I.  We have pretty much stopped bothering to even try to make the drive down to visit, usually they just blow us off anyway.

They all seem to talk to each other, but no one seems to talk to me.

The other side of my family is much better.  But mostly because we are all on FB.  Even so, I'm visiting my cousin in London and my other cousins all keep in contact.  The aunts and uncles try and we all email every now and then.  We try to visit and make time for each other when we are visiting.  There's something to be said about that.

It just sucks.  I tend to forget about this issue the rest of the year, but am always reminded around the holidays that my family doesn't seem to care about me.  At least, not enough to make it a priority to see me.  Which is probably why I always entertain the idea of moving to Australia.  Hard to miss your family much from across the world, when they didn't care enough about you to see you when you lived on the same continent...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I feel like a jerk

Do you ever feel like a jerk, even when you had good reason to be upset?

I do right now.

I needed my new pups records.  We were told the rescue had them. Turns out they didn't and we couldn't get anyone to call us back!  So, I emailed the board of directors head person.  I told her how frustrated we were and why.

The reality is, we need the new puppy's proof of Rabies to license her.  We need her proof of vaccinations and spay to put her in doggy daycare.  We need her records because we've already spent hundreds of dollars on vet care and it would have been useful to have known what she had already been treated for, but no one would email or call us back.

I felt I had no choice.  I needed to know if we were going to be able to get the records or not.  We needed to know how much more money we were going to have to pay to get the pup up to snuff medically.   I emailed this poor woman (not in a mean way) and she was prompt!  We had the records within a half hour to hour of contacting her.  Which is great!  So why do I feel like an ass?

Because it turns out our point of contact wasn't responding because of a family emergency.  :(  Now, that doesn't change the fact that we needed the records and had been trying to get them for weeks.  It doesn't change the fact that no one was calling us back, even when we called the direct line and left a message.  But it makes me feel like a jerk none the less.

Turns out there was another person we could have been dealing with, but no one told us.  And I was all mad that our person wasn't responding.  :(

I feel like a jerk for being so upset about not being able to get a response.  

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Addictive!!!!

Geesh!  I swear, every time I turn around, I have found another thing to waste hours of my time that I just love!

Hello Pinterest!

I'd never even heard of it!  Found it at random when a blog (sorry, I can't even remember who) I read off and on mentioned it a week, maybe two, ago.  Now, I'm hearing more and more about it.  Or maybe I just tuned it out before because I had no idea what it was.

Either way, I'm addicted.  I waited for my invite email and have now successfully wasted hours of my time.

I LOVE it!  

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Migraines= Good day?

Well, there is good news and bad news today....

Bad news first- I suffer from Intractable Chronic Migraines.  It's a fancy way of saying I have migraines that last longer than three days and don't respond to traditional migraine treatment.  I wish there was an emoticon for an EXTRA sad face.

My neurologist said that the treatment for this is Botox injections.  I'm not kidding.  And she says she has had really good success with it, but that most insurance companies need some encouragement to pay for it because it's super expensive.  That said, studies show that the injections will keep my migraines away for 3 months, but that some people have relief for up to six!  Imagine a world where I don't have month long headaches that make me nauseous for six months at a time!!!

I just wish I didn't have them at all.  I'm almost to day 21 of this current headache and the last time it lasted 6 weeks!  I'm talking 24 hours a day.  :(

I have always had migraines, but never like this and this didn't even really feel like a migraine per se.  But, I guess Intractable Chronic Migraines tend to have abnormal migraine symptoms that don't completely fall in line with traditional migraines.  And it explains why nothing works... But really, we haven't tried much because I'm allergic to most every migraine medication known to man.  I have no idea why, but I'm lucky that way.  LOL!

****

On to the good news-

And it's very, very good news.

A few months ago, I applied to a job.  I didn't get it.  But, apparently, they kept my info.  They emailed me a few weeks ago and asked me to come in for another interview for a different position.  And yesterday, they offered me the job-  Contingent on my references checking out.  :)

Hurray!  It's three 14's, so I will still be able to be home four days a week.  And it's good benefits and an awesome hospital with a great reputation.  Not to mention, it's ER work, which I love!

I'm so excited!

So, boo to migraines, but yeah for job offers!