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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: March 2011

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I stole this from the lovely Krystal Melissa, check her out.  It really hit home today.  

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Life is funny that way

I was in the middle of writing this wonderful post about the ebb and flow of life.  About how, if you trust it, life tends to work out for the best in the long run, even if you can't see it in the moment.

I talked about my financial troubles during my deployment and husband troubles, but how things tend to work out.  I was doing this because yesterday our insurance company sent us a check.  They paid some outstanding claims and sent us money.  I called to verify and they said it was a good check, not a mistake.  I guess they set aside money because I had previously had double coverage and now that I don't anymore, I got that money back.  No idea why, but I'm not going to argue free money!

Then today, I got an email from my new job saying that they had decided to give me my employee discount on the Big Kid's surgery!  It's a sizable refund on what we had paid!  I was so happy and excited!  We would be able to put money back in our savings account and back on our credit card, plus we have a paycheck coming this Friday, so I was feeling relieved!  Since I haven't worked in over a month and the husband took a week off, unpaid, to help me and drive me to the doctor when I was sick, then the dog emergency, we are literally out of money!  So, we had cashed out vacation pay, but the husbands job, who usually is really good, messed up and wasn't able to get it to us on time.  So, we had to wait to get it until this week, when we were also going to get paid anyway.  Either way, I was feeling good.  I was thinking, "this is why I trust the ebb and flow of life."

Then my husband called.  I was literally in the middle of writing a sentence about how, though I am still irritated with him, I should be more understanding, and I do love him and this is probably just a phase.  His call stared great.  He talked about how happy he was to hear about our pup refund.  Then he said, "Oh, yeah, I forgot I need four new tires for my truck in the next two weeks."  Why you may be asking?  Why a two week deadline?  Because four months ago, he purchase snow tires, also without any notice.  He just came to me and told me to come up with the money for them because he needed them because of the predicted harsh winter we were facing.  So, I came up with the hundreds of dollars for them.  He was told, four months ago when he did this, that his tires were no good and he needed new ones and that the current ones coming off were no longer drivable.  He failed to tell me this four months ago.  So, in two weeks time, snow tires will, once again, become illegal in the Seattle area and he will be in violation of that law if he does not purchase four new tires for his truck.  Four tires that we do not have the money for.  Four tires that I have not saved for, because I did not know we were going to need to purchase.  Four new tires that are going to cost hundreds of dollars when we have $7 in our checking account, $0 in our emergency fund, $1000 in our bills fund that has to pay our house payment on Friday and a credit card that two weeks ago was almost paid off, that is now $300 from being maxed out.

Life is funny that way.  Just when you think things are going one way, it turns out they are flying in the completely opposite direction.

Can I just add... To add insult to injury.  I have wanted a gerbil forever!  My whole life.  My neighbor had one growing up, but my mom hates rodents.  My husband has been saying for a year that I could have one, first it was my for my birthday, then it was graduation, then Christmas... It never happened.  He kept refusing to let me get one.  Well, my friend is a vet tech at an exotics hospital and they had a blind gerbil come in from a pet store.  The pet store said I can have her for free because she is blind and my friend said she has a cage I can have for her.  And the husband agreed to let me have her last night... And now, free or not, we can't afford it.  She may be free, but her food, bedding, toys, treats and vet care are not.  And that is what makes me the most mad.  Because he never thinks about how his carelessness effects me.  I know it's silly.  It's just a gerbil.  But I'm so heart broken.  To be almost 28 years old and have wanted a gerbil as a pet my whole life and to think I'm going to get one and then have it taken away the very next day sucks.

I'm just going to take a deep breath and keep trying to trust the ebb and flow of life.  This too shall pass.  And somewhere down the line, way down, even if I can't see it now, It will work out.  Right?

And the Award Goes to...

It's official!  My husband wins!  He wins the biggest jerk, biggest ass award.

We went to bed at the same time last night.  So, when our wonderful puppy started whining at 5am this morning needing to go out, it was a bit of a surprise.  But he was walked a little earlier than usual last night and had a sweet potato chew, which we have discovered acts as a "lubricator."

Mind you, my husband gets up at 6:10am every weekday to walk him before going to work.  So, imagine my surprise and total and utter irritation when I nudged him to let him know the dog was needing to go out early and he said, "Uh, would you be totally pissed if you walked him?"  Me?  The person who does not have to get up for work in an hour anyway.  The person who will be walking him and training him and taking care of him ALL day long.  The person who is taking him the all of his vet visits, his dog trainer and who gives him all of his medications because, to quote my husband, "that's what you went to school for anyway."  Sure, why not.  Why wouldn't I get up at 5 am to walk the dog when you have to get up an hour anyway?  Because the iron clad doggy care agreement we made prior to getting the puppy states that YOU will walk him in the mornings before work and at night before bed. Oh, that's right, if I get up at 5am and walk the dog, that means you will, in fact, get to sleep in an extra 20 minutes you complete and utter ASSHOLE! (I'm so sorry, pardon my language)

You know what really made my 5am start to my day fantastic?  Getting downstairs, letting the dog out, getting to the front door to leash him up and not being able to find the flashlight.  You know that silly, pesky, stupid little thing you need to see in the dark, wooded areas that might surround say townhomes that are located in an area that is predominately protected wetland.  So, I looked all over, then went to the stairs and shouted, "hey, where's the flashlight?" to no response because my husband has the incredible ability to fall back asleep no matter what, and as I turned around I found my 6 month old puppy doing his business in my kitchen.  AWESOME!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Things are not always perfect

Like it or not, but the above is true...

My husband and I are worlds better in the relationship department than we were, but things are not always perfect.  The last few weeks I have been feeling the disconnect between us.  I'll tell you why.  Here's examples from just yesterday...  I rolled over in bed last night and look at him and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I really love you."  His reply?  "Mission accomplished."  That is a a complete dick move.  Yesterday was my weigh in day.  I lost 5.2 pounds!!!!  I told him that and that I had lost 1.5 inches off my waist and 0.5 inches off my bust.  His reply?  "That means you boobs have gotten smaller?"  Gee, thanks babe.  Way to make me feel good about myself.

I told him about the horrid woman's article and how outraged I was.  His reply?  "I'm not saying she's right, but maybe that is what it's like for her.  She's an officers wife, you don't know what that is like."  He then went on and on about how I have no idea how it might be in Norfolk, VA and how that may be her experience etc etc.  No matter how many times I told him that I was offended by the stuff she said.

I keep trying to talk to him, but this is how he responds time and time again.  I have just been feeling so disconnected from him.  Saturday night, I was fed up!  I was exhausted from painting for so many days.  I was tired from cleaning the house all day and moving furniture and I walked into the kitchen to find the one pot he used clean, but the four dishes I had used that day still dirty.  Though they were dirty when he washed his one pot.  I lost it.  Not in a WWIII kinda a way, but in a WTH?  Why do that?  What leave it all for me to do?  Kinda way. Then Sunday morning, we woke up and I said the dogs probably needed to go out, he said, "So, what? I don't get to sleep in on the weekends?"  Uhm, it was 8:30am.  He usually gets up at 6.  Isn't that sleeping in?  And the fact that I had told him the night before that I really, really needed some rest because I was so sore from painting?  What about that?  GRRR.  Or our agreement that he walks the dogs in the morning and before bed and I usually do it the rest of the time.

It's hard to feel connected to a man that is obviously not interested in you.  I love him.  I really do.  But sometimes I look at him and wonder why he isn't as interested in taking care of me as I am in him.  I work full time.  But, because I don't work as many hours as he does, I work hard to do laundry and dishes and clean etc so that he doesn't have to come home after a long day of work and worry about clean work clothes, clean dishes, dinner or anything else.  I want to take care of him.  I want to give him things and make sure he has everything he wants.  So, why doesn't he want those things for me?

Sometimes things are great, sometimes they are not.  Right now, they are mediocre at best.  I'm hoping they improve as the week goes on.  I would really like to have him come home some night and say, "thanks for doing that for me honey." Or, "I really really love you too"  It would be nice to hear those things every now and then.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Pictures of the house painting!

This is the before picture of the dining room... Please excuse the weird placement of the furniture.  We have had to rearrange our furniture completely so that we can see the puppy at all times, from all parts of the house, until he is fully trained.  :)

 These would be the before pictures of the kitchen

And the after pictures of the kitchen.  The color is Denim Blue.  :)  Please take note of the lovely, even edges at the ceiling.  :)

These would be the after pictures of the dining room.  Sadly, the camera does not really pick up the color well.  It is actually Graphite.  But it just sorta looks dark blue, but I promise, it really is gray.  :)

Today, we went to Lowe's and bought the paint for the living room so that I can get that room done next week.  :)

Saturday, March 26, 2011


Sorry All!

I've been MIA because I have literally been painting for two days straight!  9ish hours the first day and 6 or so hours yesterday with a short break for lunch with some old co-workers.

Should it have taken two days to paint two coats in just two rooms?  Probably not, but I have a 6 month old puppy and a  Min Pin who is not crated.  So, day one was spent prepping both rooms (the hubs was nice enough to move all furniture etc the night before), painting, keeping the 60 pound doberman puppy out from under my ladder, walking him when he needed to potty, keeping the kids out of the paint, keeping them from being crazy, eating my meals (sometimes) and getting the hang of it.  I really, really wanted to do a good job.  I didn't want the husband to come home and talk about how much paint I got on the ceiling or on the molding or anything.  And the guy at Lowe's, who was wonderful in every way and told me everything I need to know, said that if I didn't hurry, and was sure to line my edging tool just right, that my lines should be smooth and my roller shouldn't splatter at all.  And he was right.  I have one or two minor spots that bleed slightly on the ceiling, but are hardly noticeable.  One is not my fault, the wall is actually uneven there and pushes the pad against the ceiling, which I didn't realize until the second coat.  And I only got a few spots on the molding, and only in the kitchen.  For some reason, the painters tape did not bleed through at all in the dinning room (the second room I painted), but bleed through some in the the kitchen.  I have not figured out way.  Same roll of tape.  Same method.

The only, really crappy thing is that we have a splash guard on our counter tops.  No bid deal except when the painters painted it to sell the house, they got white paint on the edge all around the top.  I didn't think about this and taped it, as I would any edge.  So, when I untaped it, there are patches of white, but when I looked closed, there are only one or two that are legitimately wall, the rest are paint spots on the actual edge.  GRRRR!  We are debating about just painting the guarding to cover this fact.  Had I thought of this (which I should have) I wouldn't have wasted my time taping it, I would have just used the edger tool. Sigh.  Live and learn.

Anyhoo, that was a very long and unnecessary explanation.  Point is, I hope to move everything back today and be back, reading and commenting on all of your wonderful blogs.

Oh, and I will post pictures of the before and after hopefully today.  :)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My poor kiddos!

The Little One went back to the dermatologist today.  Last week she developed these lovely little bald spots and she keeps getting more.  Consensus?  She suffers from seborrhea.  That means that her skin doesn't produce enough of the proper lipids (fats) to keep her skin healthy.  This is why she lost the fur on her ears and her skin got all dry when we tried to switch her food, right?  Well, she was doing well on the prescription food, and the skin drops and all that, but got these bald little spots.  Turns out, the lack of lipids predisposes animals to pyoderma (skin infections).  So, there little spots are little bacterial infections.

So, now, she has to have a bath every week with a prescription shampoo.  UGH!  It's not really a big deal. She hates baths, but she's four pounds, what's she gonna do about it?  HAHA!  I just feel bad for her.

So, for those of you keeping score... She is on RX skin drops, RX shampoo, RX food, RX ear drops, RX liver supplements, special treats, and fish oil supplements to treat seborrhea which causes chronic ear infections and food allergies and now pyoderma, and her elevated liver enzymes.  Poor kid!

Add that to the big kid and his desire to eat foreign objects and I just have too very sad kids right now.

They went to their new vet today.  Both are happy and healthy, you know, aside from the skin stuff and the surgery, so that is good.  They were both very good for him too!  Which is amazing for The Little One who acts like we are trying to kill her whenever we do anything.  She was so good today!  She only yelped and squirmed once!  Amazing!!!

However, all of this is costing me a small fortune!!!  GEESH!  She saw her specialist and her vet in the same day and our puppy too.  Add that to his surgery... We are going to go broke treating these dogs!  Thank goodness for my (eventual) employee discount at work!  And the fact that our min pn is so small her meds last forever, with the exception of her liver med.  That has to be compounded because they don't make doses small enough for her.  That costs a small fortune every month, but hopefully she will not be on it much longer.  (fingers crossed!)

And, I keep being told that she will improve (and she is) and it's likely that much of this stuff will decrease in frequency, which would be so nice.

Let's hope next week is a better week for my little ones.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

One more thing...

Was anyone else as offended by that woman's description about the deployment friend?  The woman who is your best friend until her husbands comes home?

Here's my take on that... When my husband was deployed for a year, I was sad, lonely, scared, worried, petrified, and unable to function sometimes.  You know what helped?  Being with friends.  People who could take my mind off of the fact that I hadn't heard from the hubs in days, if not weeks.  People who could make me laugh so I wasn't wondering if he was alive or dead.  People who reminded me that I could keep living life.  I needed to get out of my house!  I needed to go out and let life continue on, the way it should.

And you know what?  I didn't begrudge a single wife who didn't have time to grab coffee every week because her husband came home before mine!

I don't understand.  I love my friends dearly for being there for me, but I hadn't seen my husband in a year!  I was relieved to see him, in front of my face, live and in person, every day that I woke up (still feel that way a year later).  I needed to learn who he came home as, he needed to learn who I became while he was gone.  We needed to spend time together to learn to live together again.  We needed to reconnect.  Does it make me a bad person to want to, and need to do those things with my husband?  Does it make me a bad person that that means I didn't have as much time to grab coffee and see movies with my friends?  No, it makes me human.  It makes me normal.  It makes me a Military Spouse, fresh off a deployment, who has a marriage to work on.  That's what it makes me.

And who doesn't get that?  Who in this life doesn't understand the needs of a marriage and family and husband and wife who have just reunited after umpteen months apart?!  Does it mean I can't be friends with other wives because they put their marriages first?  GEESH!  Who would have the nerve to do that!!!!??

What I've gathered from this is that this woman has no friends.  And no one likes her.  I wouldn't like her.  Her definition of friends is so absurd!  She talks about how that woman who emailed her has no real friends that she grabs coffee with or sees movies with... Uhm, I don't have many of those. But what I do have is a network of women all across this country who understand me and love me (and I them).  I have wives to call across the state who will listen to me and understand me when I'm frustrated or sad.  I have friends who text me in the middle of their day because it's been a rotten one and they just need someone who will say, "that really sucks.  :( "  I get lonely.  Most of my "grab a bite to eat" friends have moved away.  But it doesn't mean I don't have "real" friends.  A friend is someone you can bridge the gap between no matter how many years or miles are between you.  A friend is someone you can call no matter what.  It doesn't matter if those friends are built into a group you participate in, people you met on base, people from school, or a random person you connected with on your blog/internet group/FB/etc.  What matters is the quality of your friendship, not the quantity of time you spend together.

This woman needs to seriously rethink her definition of friendship... Because I doubt she actually has one with anyone.

There is so much to say...

Mrs. S has a blog I love and have been following for a very long time.  Please take a moment to check her out because this blog will be related to the last two that she has posted...

First off, she posted a beautiful post about how real this war is.  She used pictures and links to a photojournalists project The Final Salute.  I don't know why, but I've been torturing myself by looking at these photo's over and over again.  I finally sent out the link in an email to people I know, asking them to look at the photos and forget their opinions for a moment to remember those who server in their honor, and those who are left behind.  

Secondly, she posted a post about this article...  Which I agree with (Mrs. S that is).  This woman is a poor excuse for a military wife.  GRRR.  That fact that she would not only live by the horrible stereotypes that plague military wives, but then go on a public forum and encourage the rest of the world to judge us all by that as well, is appalling!!!  I have met the odd, crappy milspouse, but most of them are normal human beings just trying to get by.  I don't know how many of you have read anything else by this horrible woman, but in a previously published article, in which she is attempting to make up her own, supposedly funny phobias, she includes this:

  • Military marriage-ophobia:
Those afflicted with this terrible phobia come from all walks of life, the four corners of the globe.  They profess to dearly love that guy or gal in uniform they've been going with for eons and insist that they want to get married, they really do.  And they will even go so far as setting a date and making plans for those sacred "I do's" to be exchanged. 
Then what happens? They inevitably shrink back in utter terror at the thought of formally committing themselves to a marriage constantly subject to the call of duty.  Just imagining the topsy-turvy world of married military life is enough to make them literally run for the hills.
OMG, they think, surviving lengthy periods of separation, alone. Managing somehow to courageously establish a life in strange places around the world while that spouse is off defending freedom half a world a way.  Facing the monumental challenge of birthdays and holidays and anniversaries spent alone.  Eating alone, sleeping alone?  OMG, no way!
As if the lives these military marriage phobics are now living with the ones they love in uniform is any less challenging and scary without the license and wedding rings.

Now, here is my rant:

Not only is this horrible woman spouting off about how horrible military spouses are, she is condemning those who do not do it.  Think about this for a moment.  Look at the photos of those who are suffering loss.  Then think about her article about those awful spouse who will use and abuse you.  She is saying that you will be a lonely woman with no one to talk to because every time you move, you will be moving to a new place where there is no hope you will ever make a true friend.  Then, she is condemning people who realize BEFORE they get married that they are not cut our for this life.

So, let me get this straight.  Just because I live this life and am happy.  Just because she doesn't mind moving, living apart for month if not years at a time, just because she feels she is ok with sending her husband to war zones, means that anyone who doesn't think they are not cut out for it is a bad person?  And yet, she talks absolute SHIT about the military life every chance she gets!  Oral sex pacts, horrible milspouses, these things are supposed to make someone want to be a military wife?

I love my life.  I'm proud of my husband.  I would not trade being a military wife for anything... That said, do you know how many marriages I have seen fail because the spouse couldn't handle this life?  Which would you rather have, a woman figure out during her engagement that she doesn't want this for herself, or have her get married and figure it out half way through her first deployment?  A number of men in my husbands unit received Dear John letters from their wives.  It's horrible.  So, isn't it better that this gets figured out BEFORE they get married?  Like she said, "As if the lives these military marriage phobics are now living with the ones they love in uniform is any less challenging and scary without the license and wedding rings."  Doesn't that say it all?  If you find this life that scary and challenging as a girlfriend or fiance, and you don't think you can do it, what makes you think you will suddenly wake up on the other side of that wedding day more able to deal and happier?

The photo's in The Final Salute, are haunting, yet beautiful.  And they are REAL.  That is real life.  That is the war we are fighting.  I see those pictures and my heart breaks. My heart breaks because I am lucky.  My husband has come home twice.  And, God willing, will come home again.  It doesn't change my life.  It doesn't make me any less proud.  It doesn't make me any less honored that my husband chose me to come home to.  Had I seen those photos months or days before my wedding, it would not have stopped me from marrying him.  Because I knew I could do it.  I married a man for love, his uniform just happened to come with that, but I knew I could live this life.  I DO NOT think this life is for anyone.  It is true that you never, truly know what you can handle until you are faced with no choice, but that doesn't mean military life is something everyone will love and embrace.

I do not begrudge people who know this about themselves.  Of course, I'm human and get tired of civilians bitching about missing their husband after a weekend camping trip or week long business trip, but I also have to remember that that is their reality.  I'm all for anyone and everyone being a milspouse.  I love it!  Some of the best people I know are milspouses.  But I am not arrogant enough to assume that just because I love it, everyone else will too.

Shouldn't we be happy that those people avoided heart break by figuring out early that they didn't want this life?  Shouldn't we be spreading the love to those who do want this life by showing them the wonderful people you can meet and the amazing experiences you can have?  

It's true, pictures like The Final Salute are everywhere.  But I'm happy they are.  They show people the reality we face, and why they should be more respectful.  And there will always be women like me (and all of you milies out there) that see those and know it wouldn't have changed your mind or hasn't yet.  And those are the people I want to be friends with.  Those are the strong, amazing women I know, who I look up to.  

Cleared for Take Off!

Ok, so I don't actually fly, and today is the first day I have driven my car in two weeks... None the less, the doc cleared me!

My lovely neurologist said I'm suffering from a SEVERE tension headache.  WOW!  I've had tension headaches before, in fact, I get them all the time, I would never have thought they would be this bad.  6 weeks I've had this!  She also said to stop taking the Vicodin ASAP.  She said that is probably making it worse because I've been on it so long.  She did not give me any indication that the fluid in my ears is related in anyway or why I would have that, but she said, assuming I feel better, I can go back to work...

That was after she gave me three rather unpleasant injections of a steroid mixed with lidocaine.  Two in the base of my skull and one in my shoulder.  She said that should help relieve the pain that is causing the headache.  She also prescribed a medication that, when taken daily, will help prevent headaches in the future.  The sad side effect of this pill?  Weight loss.  Oh, Gee darn!  HAHA!

She recommended physical therapy, but I don't get very many visits from my insurance and I'm pretty sure I used them up last year.  I asked about massage and she said that she would actually prefer me do hot yoga.  I'm not kidding.  She even put it in my instructions so I can write it off on my taxes!  So, hot yoga it is.  She said it would help in the long term much better than massage.

I sure hope this works!!!  I'm tired of feeling crappy!  But she said I can call or come back in any time if I need to or don't feel like I'm improving.

Finally, some answers!!!

Monday, March 21, 2011

I have a rough life :)

Ok, so really, my life is not so bad... take for instance the fact that I just downloaded a free blogger app that I am now using to post this. Lol!
But really, being sick has it's advantages. My husband was able to take a week off of work to hang out with me... ok, so really he was driving me around and/or playing video games while watching the dogs while I slept, but it was still nice to have the company when I managed to be conscious...  and, though we are officially, financially tapped out, I'm so glad we had an emergency fund. It sure did help when the big kid went to the er.
I may have over extended myself today. Tons of dishes, laundry, cleaning, organizing, and walking the dogs may have been a bit much for my first day of feeling better, given the fact that my ear pain is back and so is my headache... but I have my neurology appointment in the morning and I'm feeling pretty confident that I will have some answers.
What has made think of this wonderfully sarcastic thing to say is this:

Sunday, March 20, 2011

A failure to plan is a plan for failure

My husband says this to me all the time.  It may be the unofficial Marine Corps motto.

He says it whenever I have forgotten even the tiniest little detail.  He said it to me today.  We went to Cirque Du Soleile.  I love it and we go every time they come to town.  This happened to be my favorite show ever, Quidam, which is why I bought super good seats.  I had never seen it live and was stoked it was coming to town.  Well, about halfway through the show, my headache came in full force.  It was horrible.  He asked my why I never have Aleve on me.  I usually do, but my little bottle of it is empty, so I threw it out.  I told him that I had found another small bottle in the bathroom, but when I opened it, I discovered that he had shoved a bunch of other pills in there too.  He asked why I hadn't emptied it out, or why I didn't just refill my little bottle from our big bottle.  I told him I threw out my little one because I had found his little one and didn't know he had put random crap in it... This conversation goes in circles for about three more minutes at which time he says, "well, a failure to plan is a plan for failure."  GRRR!

So, after the show, we are heading home when he asks if we should hit Lowe's on the way and buy paint for at least one room and more samples... Though we are happy with two of the three colors we have chosen, the living room remains elusive.  Two samples on the wall and we are still not happy.  I agreed to this proposal because I agreed to paint while I'm home before I start my new job.

Well, we get all the way to Lowe's, my headache still roaring and I say, "We should have them mix the paint while we are gathering our supplies.  How much paint do we need?"  He says, "I don't know, just get one gallon."  That is actually what he said.  I replied, "No, there is no way one gallon will do it.  It took two to paint the small bedroom at your mothers house."  He says, "well, get two for now and we can always come back." Again, no.  If you don't get all your paint at the same time, sometimes the batches will come out different, even though they are technically mixing the same color for you.  My parents made this mistake and wound up with half a wall a slightly different shade then the other.  So, we ended up driving all the way home, so he can measure and calculate, so that we can drive all the way back to buy our stuff.  GGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so freaking irritated!!!  How is my forgetting some pain meds a failure to plan, but him not measuring the walls isn't?  Not to mention that, last night, when he suggested we buy paint today, I specifically told him that meant he needed to measure the rooms so we could know how much to buy.  WHAT THE CRAP!!!!!

Somedays, I look at this man, and wonder how he is one of the most efficient Marines, most efficient employees, most efficient people in the world, yet this sorta stuff happens all the time.

All I can say is THANK GOD! he said I could have our birthday party catered!  (we have friends who own a restaurant) Every year we do the dance of how will I plan a party, most likely have to work that day, clean, decorate and host a party, make all the food, and clean up after a party without him... Why?  Because he fails to plan.  Every time, I get home to nothing done and him asking how long this or that will take me because he needs this or that done too.

The joys of living with men.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Exasperation doesn't even begin to describe....

Saw a co-worker today.  She informed me that a fellow co-worker, who was not there on the day I put in my notice, was told that I was "let go" earlier this week.  My very nice co-worker informed everyone that I was not let go.  That I had put in my notice.  This was prior to all the crap my office manager told me : I was "essentially not an employee" and then called to ask me to return my uniform.

WTF!  Doesn't even begin to describe my thoughts.  I don't understand what is going on.  What did I do?  I have never so much as been taken into the office and talked to.  At my 90 day review I was told that I needed to chit chat a little less, no big deal, and that one employee had said she thought I was mean to her once, but was then told that the office manager and head Dr thought this employee was being "too sensitive" because they didn't feel I would do that or that I was like that.  That pretty much sums it up.  And, frankly, I was very upset that someone would think I was mean in any way and told my office manager that.  Other than that, I have never been in trouble for anything and I wasn't even really "in trouble" for those things.  The techs like me, the docs seem to like me.  I get along with everyone to my knowledge...  I guess the head doc asked me to do my intake faster... But I don't think I was "in trouble" for that.

I specifically worded my resignation etc at my meeting delicately. I specifically told her it was important to me that they know I enjoyed working there, but that I needed 40 hours a week and this was a good opportunity, and that they asked me to apply, I had not sought it out.  I told her I wanted to stay on as a client because I love the doctors.  I told her I worked it out with my new job to give three weeks notice.  When she said she might not have me come back, she said she would talk to the techs to see if that was ok.  I told her that I would do whatever was best for (insert name of clinic).  That I would love to come back to fulfill my notice, but that I understood if they decided they didn't need me to.  I wanted to make the transition as easy as possible.  I apologized for the unfortunate timing of my illness coinciding with my new job offer.  I said it was important to me to leave on good terms because I wanted to stay on as a client... She said she understood and that I was leaving on good terms and that of course I could stay on as a client.

That was last Friday.  I guess early this week, she told that employee that she had "let me go." Tuesday I called her and told her that I couldn't cover shifts this week (the tech who had to fly back home) because I couldn't get my neurology appointment until next week, in spite of the efforts of myself and my doctors, but that I was feeling a little better and was confident that I would continue to improve through the week (which I have) and I was confident that I would get released back to work next week. She told me she had figured I had tried and that she appreciated my effort.  I told her I would keep her updated.   Wend is when I called about my pup and she told me that I was "essentially not an employee anymore," and Thursday is when she called to ask me for my doctors note saying that I "was not released back to work" and for me to return my scrubs "some time before April 2nd."  April 2nd being the day I cited as my last day of work in my letter of resignation.

So, where did all of this go wrong?  I have no idea.  Why is she telling people she fired me?  She never told me she fired me.  How can I be fired if I was never notified that I was fired?  Why would she do all of this after telling me that I was leaving on good terms?  Why is this happening?  I wanted to be a client there, I sure as heck am not going to now.  Not after being treated this way.

Icing on the cake?  Found out the head doctor (read: practice manager) has not been there and doesn't seem to know that two of us have quit.  What is going to happen when he comes back next week to an understaffed clinic?  What is he going to say?  Is the office manager going to admit that I quit and she told me not to come back?  Is he going to override her?  Would I be legally obligated to return if he did ask me to after what she has done and said?  I know my co-workers are not going to lie for her.  I know they will tell him what really happened...

I have no idea why this is happening, what I did to deserve it, or why she would be lying to others.. or for that matter to me.  

Thursday, March 17, 2011

If I was sad before, I sure as heck ain't now!!!

I woke up today with a horrible head ache.  So bad, in fact, that I spent the whole day in bed, sleeping.... Aside from waking up occasionally to call the hospital about the Big kid that is. (He is home and doing great!  He ate an entire stuffed hedgehog.)

This afternoon, my cellphone rang.  It was my office manager.  She inquired as to how I was feeling and how the puppy was.  I told her I was ok and that we were hoping to pick him up from the hospital later in the afternoon.  She then told me she needed me to be sure to get her my paperwork from the doctor for my personnel file. Then she asked how many scrubs tops I have at home because she also needs those back.  Really?!  After how I've been being treated, this phone call should not have been a surprise, but explain to me why I would go out of my way to do anything for this woman, or this company at this point.  Here I was trying to go back to work.  I negotiated three weeks notice with my new job to try to help my old job out, and they repay me by telling me to not bother to come back in the rudest way possible.  Then have the nerve to call me, after denying me treatment for my dog, and asking me to bring in my scrub tops and paperwork.  Now, if you have told me that I am "essentially not an employee anymore," after being a jerk about me being sick, why do you need paperwork about my illness?

Basically, she fired me.  Only, technically, I had already quit, so...  Why am I going to do anything for her?  What's really too bad?  I had hoped to stay a client. I told her that and my co-workers that.  I like the doctors.  I trust them.  But, after being treated so badly in response to my leaving, there is no way in hell I'm going to give them any of my money.  And it's a shame she didn't think of that...  The clinic is under pressure from corporate to make money.  They took a hit in the last year because of the recession.  They are cutting employee hours, business hours, bitching about us needing to make more money, and the office manager drives away a long time client (me) by being a complete bitch in response to me finding a better job.  Think of all the money they could make off me.  The big kid will need to be neutered, the little one is due for her annual exam and vaccines and fecal in a month.  She still needs regular blood work (at $126 a pop) for her liver enzymes... And all of that money could have been going to them!  Instead, it will be going to a clinic up the street.

What a piss poor way to run your business!  No wonder they are having financial issues.  I wonder how our clients are really being treated?  I only see what I do and what the doctors do, but what about the receptionist and office manager (who is currently filling in as a receptionist)?  HHMMM....

It's a pity.  And now, I am really freaking happy to be out of there!  And my lead tech informed me today that she was mad I was treated this way again today, and that this was also one of her reasons for leaving.  And, the head doc knows about this kinda stuff and doesn't do anything in response to it.

So happy to be going to work for a better run company!!!  


I called the hospital today and our puppy is doing great.  They are going to attempt to feed him a few small meals and, assuming he can keep the food down, he should be ready to come home this afternoon.

He got out of surgery last night around 8:30.  The surgeon said that she removed something cloth from his stomach and what looked like part of a squeaker from his intestines.  This squeaker was causing an obstruction.  Thankfully, because I was home, recognized the symptoms, and was able to get him in ASAP, there was no internal damage done!  So, it was a very uneventful surgery.

I asked them to do a gastropexy while they were in there.  That is where they tack the stomach to the abdominal wall.  Dobermans are one of the most common breeds to bloat and this little act can significantly reduce the likelihood of that happening.  It is commonly performed during the surgery to correct bloat.  So, it was nice that they were willing to do that.  They did ask if they could neuter him at the same time, but we have a contract saying we can't do that until he is a year old.

So, crisis averted... Kind of.  The puppy is doing well.

Sadly, we are now broke again... :(  But it's ok, we will bounce back.  

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

ER visits and work issues

I woke up this AM to a 6 month old puppy refusing to eat breakfast.  He then tried to vomit a few times, but was unable to.  Then we found a chewed up squeaker in his kennel with no signs of what it came from.  Being a vet tech, I recognized right away that all of these things pointed to foreign body ingestion.  And, because he was unable to vomit, it meant that he needed X-rays ASAP to determine if he was obstructed or not.

I called work to see if they could fit us in for the xrays before lunch.  My office manager called me back.  She told me that I could drop my kid off and they would try to get him in "some time this afternoon."  This was at 11 am.  Well, ok, but what if he needs surgery?  No, he is not dying, but it's still kinda an emergency.  She also told me that I was putting her in the middle of things because I'm "essentially not an employee."  I'm not kidding.  Here I am thinking I am an employee and working hard with my doctors to get me released back to work and she tells me that I'm essentially not an employee and that she can't have me showing up to get xrays of my dog etc, not to mention, they need to take a two hour lunch.  That is our new policy, two hour lunches on Wend.

Here's my issue.  If I'm an employee then you find a way to squeeze me or not.  And if not, say you are sorry, and I go to the ER.  If I'm a client, not an employee, then you deem it an emergency, charge me the emergency fees and screw the two our lunch because the money I'm going to be paying for the everything will more than make up for it.

So, we ended up at the ER (the one I am going to be working for).  They took the radiographs.  Agreed that he had something in his stomach.  Did an ultrasound and found that the foreign body was stuck in his stomach and the first part of his intestines and determined he needed emergency surgery.  All said?  We put down a $2800 deposit.  You heard right.  That is $2800 that could have gone to my current hospital.  The hospital that is bitching about not making enough money.  But they turned us away.

The ER?  They apologized about not being able to give me the employee discount (which I didn't expect) but said maybe they could do something like credit me later.  What they did do was give me an industry discount.  Either way, I wouldn't have cared.  What is ridiculous is I don't care if I get a discount.  It doesn't change the fact that my dog ate something that is now stuck in his stomach and intestines.  It doesn't change the fact that he needs surgery.  It doesn't matter if I pay full price.  What matters is that my dog gets treated.

So, he is heading into surgery, probably right about now.  He will stay over night and we will, hopefully, be able to pick him up tomorrow.

I'm more than a little pissed.  My dog will be fine, I'm sure.  This is pretty routine stuff.  But I can't believe my manager!  So, I emailed my fellow techs and told them that I'm sorry, but will no longer be making any effort to return to work.  Having been told that they probably didn't want me to work my last three weeks, having been called at home while sick and told that my co-workers were upset that I was out sick, having the office manager try to guilt me into coming back to work because said employees can't have over time, then being told that I am "essentially not an employee" after I have been harassing my doctor to release me back to work... It's just not worth it.  I told me new job that I needed to give extra notice to make it easier on my work.  I did all kinds of stuff to make this work.  It's BS.  I am not going to bother to go back to work after being repeatedly told that I am basically not wanted.  It's a shame.  I've already heard back from my lead tech.  She is pissed.  She completely understands what I am saying.  She said my manager was being rude and was pissed that she was speaking on behalf of the other techs, but has never even talked to them about it.  Just goes to show, it's a good thing I'm leaving.

Now, we are just sitting at home and waiting to hear how the surgery went.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Reunions... To go or not to go?

For those of you who are new to my blog, you will not remember the blog I posted about my 10 year high school reunion...

Here's the deal. For whatever reason, our ASB is not planning it.  In fact, a person that I truly dislike in all sense of the word is planning it... Here is the post explaining why I dislike her.  That would be the person who took it upon herself to plan this event. And, she is doing a piss poor job.  She posted a survey on FB about it and asked things like, when should we have it?  She listed time frames that were as close as just 2 months away.  She asked if we wanted to reserve a space or (this is not a joke, she actually asked this) just collectively show up somewhere.  Seriously.  How much more ridiculous can this event get!

Today I got a FB message, yes a Facebook message, regarding said event.  It is planned for August.  I guess we got the hook up on a harbor cruise.  Ok, fine.  But, really, is a FB message the appropriate way to "spread the word to be sure that everyone knows" about our reunion?  Hardly.  Being the nice person that I am, I did forward it to everyone... But seriously.  This is so dumb.

I have no idea if I want to go.  On the one hand, there are a few people I would love to see.  On the other, I generally distanced myself from 95% of the people I knew in HS because I actually think most of them are jerks.  And, though the event seems to have managed to get put together in spite of the stupidity of the person planning (I know that that is a very biased opinion), I still feel a bit like I want to not go, simply in protest of the general stupidity that went in to planning it.  

To go or not to go... my husband has no opinion.  He was very involved in his HS and says that he is only 8% committed to going to his... So, that leaves me no where.  HMMM... 

Part of my problem?  I'm very passive aggressive.  I want to go, but don't want to see this girl, nor a number of other people I despise from HS. I have very valid reasons and emotional scars as to why.  Someday, I will share them with you.  Suffice it to say that I lived the movie Mean Girls in a lot less comical way.  The other people I don't like?  I have no problem pretending to be nice to them while strategically planning my exit from their presence.  This girl?  I worry that I would say things to her that I regret.  Ok, so I probably wouldn't actually regret anything I'm tempted to say to her, but I would feel bad doing it publicly.  And I fear that I would not actually be able to be remotely cordial to her.  And I pride myself on being nice to people, even if they don't deserve it...  Call it years of customer service training.  

If I do go... How on earth would I handle her wanting to talk to me!  Let alone handle her actually talking to me without me punching her in the face, or at the minimum calling her some choice names, including but not limited to Heartless Bitch.  But it also seems like a shame to not see people I genuinely like because of one person (or a handful of people) who I don't.  

And for those of you who want to read the lovely letter I wrote a year ago to "Sharon,"  here it is.  No, I never sent it, but I keep it in my draft box of my email just in case I ever get the urge to.  :)

Doctors suck... Ok, really their scheduling people suck.

So, last week my doc said I had to see the neurologist and that she wouldn't release me back to work until I did... She wrote an "urgent" referral to the neurologist.  The implication in "urgent' being that they would get me in right away.  So, I called and was told they couldn't get me in for 10ish days.  So, I called my doc, I called my specialist, and asked them to call and tell them that I couldn't wait that long.  I tried to explain to the scheduling girl that I'm out of work (per doctors orders), in pain, and hopped up on Vicodin, all of which I would like to not be and needed to be seen right away, but she wouldn't budge.  Both my doctors offices told me that they would be calling the neurologist and saying the same thing to get me in sooner.  The neurologists office told me that they could get me in sooner if my doctors called them... Sounds like we are all on the same page right?


I called yesterday to see if both my docs had in fact called and if there was any change in the status of urgency for my appointment... I was told the neurologist would call today.  Well, this morning, someone from the neurologists office called and left a message on my voice mail telling me that they have NO, as in ZERO, appointments available and that even if both my doctors collectively call and insist that I be seen sooner, they will not be able to see me.  She then said that my appointment is in seven days, which it is, and that usually it takes three plus weeks to get in, so I'm doing pretty good already.

This sucks... I'm not saying I don't understand.  I'm say this SUCKS!  Can't go back to work until I see the doctor, can't see the doctor for another week.  What is the point of having a network of doctors and specialist and having things like Urgent Referrals VS regular referrals if the urgency of an urgent referral means nothing?   I do get that you can't magically make more appointments.  I'm just frustrated at my situation.

I think, at this point, it is unlikely that I will be returning to my job to fulfill my last few weeks before starting my new job...

This said, my husband and I have decided that that means I should paint the house.  We have wanted to paint for some time.  We talked about hiring people to do it because, well frankly, we've painted before and suck at it, but what the heck.  I'm here, might as well make myself useful.  So, we picked our colors, I"m going to pop a couple vicodin and paint our downstairs.  Well, maybe not.  But if I start to feel better, then I'm going to paint...

And, I was reminded that sometimes being out of work is for the best.  Like for health reasons.  And, because we lived off just the hubby's income for the last two years, we can survive a few weeks of me sitting at home.  So, it's not the end of the world.  And, frankly, life usually has a way of working out for the best, even when things seem a little sad and crappy in the moment.  I would like to thank Kaitlin for her comment, it really reminded me that you have to do what is right for you and know that things will work out in the end.  And a few extra prayers never hurt anyone.  :)

This too shall pass, even if it's not when I want it to, it will.  

Monday, March 14, 2011

I could use a little sunshine...

Still not working and realizing it's for the best.  Still not feeling well, so probably shouldn't be working...

But, today, I'm having a whirlwind of emotions about it.

Just found out that my lead tech put in her two week notice today... I'm shocked!  Yes, she encouraged me to take the job offer I had, but I didn't realize it's because she was also thinking of leaving.  She is our number one gal!  She does all of our ordering for one!  She's been there the longest.  Oh, and did I mention that she is the only other reliable person on staff?  So, I feel bad that I'm quitting when she is also quitting, but I'm glad too.  With her gone, there is no way I would have been very happy to work there.

But, my friend and co-worker also just found out that her friend died this morning and now has to fly home to go to the funeral...  So, I'm back to feeling crappy that I'm not working and that I put in my notice.  I kind of flop back and forth.  I'm going to call the doc tomorrow and ask if I can go back to work so I can cover her shifts for a few days, but I don't have high hopes that that conversation is going to go in my favor...

And, I'm still feeling depressed about being stuck in the house.  The hubs has been home since Thursday helping me out, which is great.  This AM I woke up feeling horrible.  At first I thought I had just slept too much, but quickly realized that it was, in fact, that my head hurt so bad that I was nauseous.  With him home, I was able to go up stairs and lay in bed most of the day and not have to worry about the dogs.  On the flip side (again with the flopping back and forth) him being home means that neither of us are making any money... You know, that pesky things called a mortgage tends to need to be paid with US dollars earned in exchanged for goods or labor provided to a company.  Sucky.

And, being home, has made me realize how many of my friends have moved away, how few of them I actually hear from, even when I try to call, and how lonely I really am most of the time.  And, most of my friends are going through tough times.  Two have grandmothers in the hospital, one is having friend troubles during a deployment, the afore mentioned friend death, job troubles etc etc.  It just seems like there is an awful lot of rain in our lives right now, and I could use a little sunshine...

I'm trying to remember that me being out of work is temporary, as is the hubs.  But, the friend situation, is not.  I can't change the places my friends husbands get stationed... I really need to start making friends with people who are not AD wives... I need local friends who are not likely to move... I really just need friends... :(

Friday, March 11, 2011

It's Official

Well, I'm still sick.  I'm off the neurologist next... The theory being that what ever has caused the fluid build up in my ears is linked the the initial complaint which was my head ache....

All this has meant that I couldn't put in my notice at work because I'm still not there.  I felt guilty quitting, over the phone, while sick.  :(  So, when I saw the doctor yesterday and she refused to release me back to work (not that I blame her) I decided I just had to bit the bullet.  So, I met with my office manager today and explained.

I love my job, but need to do what's best for me.  She understood.  She was sad to see me leave, but was happy for me.  And I left on good enough terms to keep them as my vet, which was important to me.  My dogs love everyone there and I had been a client for years before I started working there.  So, big relief!!!

I'm officially set to start my new job the first week of April!

I'm terrified, but excited!  I'm nervous and thrilled!  And I still feel bad that I had to put in my notice while sick, but that was unavoidable at this point.


On a different note, I'm a lot less bitchy!  My husband was kind enough to file for FMLA so that he could stay home for  few days and drive me to doctors appointments and generally help me around the house.  It also means he is walking the dogs for me. :)  Makes me want to hurt people a lot less.  LOL!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Be the bigger person...

I've had some interesting realizations while being sick... The most unusual one came the other day.

For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you may remember me getting all upset a few months ago when a friend of mine used a racial slur in a FB post.  Well, though I'm usually not easily offending in the least, for some reason I got very upset about this and told her so... On FB, publicly, in her comments.  We had a very unpleasant back and forth during which she fired back at me and said some very hurtful things...

Well, I have been bugged by this for months now.  I have known this girl since the third grade.  She is not a racist or mean person at all!  I don't know why I reacted so strongly, but I have been feeling horrible that I did it so publicly.  This week, I realized that my feelings guilt do me no good.  Being reminded of it, and haunted by it for months has done nothing.  So, I emailed her and apologized.  I explained that I was hurt by her, but that I didn't blame her for being hurtful and that I also didn't blame her if she didn't forgive me.  I just needed her to know that I was in the wrong.

I hadn't emailed her before because I was scared.  That is the truth.  I was scared that she wouldn't accept my apology.  I was scared that she would still be mad and tell me to shove it.  I was scared that she would say mean things to me, but, I realized that that doesn't matter.  She has a right to still be mad.  And just because she may not accept my apology, doesn't negate the fact that I owe her one.  Period.

I am happy to report that she accepted my apology.  She said she has been wanting to email me for ages to say exactly the same thing and that she is sorry that she lashed out at me.  The crazy thing is, I don't really feel like she needed to apologize because, by all accounts, I started it and it was my fault for publicly being a jerk to her.  But, I'm happy she did and I'm happy that we are mending our friendship.

So, I want to say, sometimes, you just need to swallow your pride and hurt feelings and accept responsibility.  I have realized that it doesn't matter if your apology is accepted, it doesn't matter if taking responsibility gets you out of or into trouble.  The point is, you need to do it.  I'm so glad that I decided to do this.  I'm even happier that it worked out for the best, but, you know what?  I would still be happy, even if she hadn't accepted my apology.  I was feeling guilty.  It was bugging me and I needed to email her for my own peace of mind.  It just so happens that I got the result I had hoped for.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'm Having a Pity Party Over Here! What to join me?

Breaking News: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On and crashed into We All Have Problems before coming to a complete stop at Get the Hell Over It. Reporting LIVE from Quitchur Bitchin'

I love this quote!  Someone posted it on one of my Weight Watchers Communities... So hilarious!

However, I'm in a full swing pity party... I do think we are all allowed to have one every now and then, and it's been a while since I have really gone all out for one.  

I work up today feeling, can you believe it?, slightly better than I have in days!  Then I walked my dog.   During that walk, I discovered that I'm exhausted in spite of all of my sleeping and lazing around.  I also discovered that my puppy has officially hit my last nerve!  We walked for 20 minutes, he squatted to poop, then stopped.  I gave him ample more opportunities to do his business and he didn't., so I took him home.  He immediately walked into the house and pooped in the middle of my living room.  GRRRRRRRRRRR!!! 

Though the pressure in my head seems to have decreased, now I feel like I'm in a fog.  A daze.  I'm out of it... Which may be why a leisurely stroll around my complex wore me out.  I've also discovered that, with the vice like pressure decreasing around my head, I'm noticing my headache again.  You remember, the one I went to the doctor for in the first place?  That's the one.  Still not gone.  

And if that weren't all enough to make me want to sit in a dark room and feel horribly sorry for myself, I'm now nauseous and gagging... TMI?  So, on the one hand, I might be getting better, or I might be getting worse... I can't decide.  The husband's at work, so is everyone else I know, and all I really want is someone to come over to my house and feel sorry for me.  I'm so pathetic.  

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The pessimist in me...

I hate going to the doctor... Who actually likes going?  But what I hate is that I'm Murphy's law Incarnate.  I'm a walking mess... I'm a medical marvel.

Case in point... I developed what I am told is bilateral ear infections with a sinus infection.  12 days and three antibiotics later, I'm still not better.  My doc referred me to a specialist thinking that they would put tubes in my ears or lance the ear drum or something.  I went in today... he told me that it wasn't really an ear infection, but pressure and fluid build up.  He looked in my sinuses and said, "they are cherry red" then seemed to be baffled that I don't have a sore throat, congestion or any other symptoms of being ill. I don't otherwise feel sick.  Just the head, face and ear pressure and pain.  He said the antibiotics should be working.  And so should everything else I'm taking... But it's not.  I'm not any better than I was yesterday or the day before or last week.  He said he was perplexed.  He ordered a CT scan.  He's going to call in a few days when he has time to review it and determine what is wrong.  He said I might have to see a neurologist.  He has no idea what's wrong with me or why I'm not getting better.  I hear neurologist and I hear bad news... It's tough to go to the doc and have them not know what's wrong... He has no idea how to make me better because he doesn't understand what's wrong... He threw out words like MRSA and antibiotic resistant bacteria... That also doesn't leave me with a very good feeling...

I'm generally a very optimistic person.  I've spent the last 12 days trusting the doctors that I would get better.  I even went to the ENT thinking he would have an answer and I would be back to work tomorrow...  And now, I'm feeling very down about life.  I'm feeling very frustrated and scared about what might be wrong.  Why am I not getting better?  I spent the last week thinking it was an ear infection and that I would be better soon... And now, I'm being told that that doesn't seem to be it.  So what is it?  What is wrong?

The pessimist in me, though she is very small and has a faint voice, is now fearing the worst... 

If only I had common sense! No, I mean USMC Sense!

I'm linking to the wonderful post by ABW.  If you are not reading her awesome blog, I highly recommend you start.

I will start this by saying, I'm in a much better mood today... For a few reasons.
1. I've learned my lesson.  No more waiting to take my pain meds until 1pm.  It's first thing in the morning for me now!
2.  My husband was home yesterday.  We fought of course, because I'm a grumpy ass right now, but he heard me and was very understanding.  He helped with the dogs and I finally got some real rest!  As in, fell asleep on the couch at 9pm and slept until after 7am this morning!  It felt so nice to know that I could sleep and not worry about the puppy.
3. I have not strayed from my diet... The online community at Weight Watchers has been amazing to me and they are all being so supportive.  It has really helped me stick with it and feel better about myself.

So, on to the linked post!  ABW, who I adore in every way, shape and form, posted a wonderful blog about a lack of Army Sense VS. her tons of common sense.  I was smiling and laughing through the whole thing because I know the feeling!

So, I will share with you some of the times I lacked USMC sense and encourage you all to share with me times you did too!

1.  Remember when I let my ID expire?  That was a doozy!  If I had any USMC sense at all, I would have remembered to 1. check the date on it and get it renewed before it expired, not let the woman at NEX take it away in front of everyone!  And I would have verified before I got to base, how I was going to get on base without my military ID... Instead, I got to do the dance of, "Please let me on base!  I need to get a new ID.  No, I don't have one, they took it away at NEX. No, I'm not lying, they really took it away from me!  I didn't know they did that either, but I swear it's the truth!  No, my husband is not here to vouch for me.  PLEASE!!!!! LET ME ON BASE!!!"  LOL!  It was a slightly stressful day to say the least.

2.  I would have remembered where I had put my husbands orders, and I would have put them somewhere logical, and I would have left myself a list of clues strategically placed all over the house to help lead me to them.  Instead, I had to do the mad scramble for hours, sifting through the stack of crap my husband left, aptly called "The Important Documents Stack" each time I needed them.  It consisted of every piece of documentation from my husbands entire military career, from boot camp on.  Not kidding.  Try finding his most recent orders in a stack of orders and documents spanning eight years!  And because I had let him deal with all of that, it was in no logical order at all.  In fact, prior to it being in "The Stack" it was all just a jumbled mess in a foot locker he kept in the closet.  I guess the one thing the Marine Corps doesn't teach the Marines is how to file.  Lesson learned.  Next time, I will keep them safe and out of sight, as my husband insists, while still being able to find them when I need them...  Well, I'm going to try.

3. Like ABW, I really should be in the habit of having doubles and triples of our stuff notarized and in hand in the event that things get ruined... I, too, spent a good deal of time spanning the 10 hour time difference across the world trying to get documents faxed or mailed to me from Iraq because I failed to do this and couldn't find, didn't have, or had some how ruined the only copy I did have.  This included my husbands standing will, which I needed for some investment stuff and his POA which I also needed often... and by often, I mean every stinking time I turned around... Because we were newly weds and were still in the process of changing everything over.  UGH!  Lesson learned.  :)  Oh, and try to convince your husband to make all amendments to his will while he is still in the states!  My husband managed to finagle an option to add things at will while he was gone... Which meant I never had the up to date will in hand.  Next time, if he can't think of who he wants to leave what to, then it will all go to me and he will just have to accept that one of his friends may have to live without the video game he forgot he had.  :)

And, even with him home now, I am not exempt from lacking military sense.  I've been married to the Marine Corps for three years now, and I dated it for two years before that.  You would think that I would have figure some of this stuff out by now!  But, I guess there is just no accounting for the stuff you have to learn the hard way when you are a Milspouse.  :)

I would love to hear the funny stories y'all have about times you too were lacking military sense.  :)

Monday, March 7, 2011

I'm such a quitter!

Outwardly, I seem strong... I love to support those around me.  I tell myself that by motivating others to keep going, it will help me.  That is such a bunch of crap!

I'm on my second day of my second week of Weight Watchers, and I already want to quit... That fact that I pre-paid for three months is all that is keeping me going.  And I'll tell you why...

Today, I had my third doctors visit in a week.  I'm still not better.  I'm not even remotely close to feeling even the tiniest bit better.  I know I've been whining all week, but I'm so frustrated.  We have now added another antibiotic to the mix.  That means, I took one for a 6 days, then started the other, and now, on day 6 of that one, I'm starting a new one.  The coolest part is that I'm supposed to keep taking the second antibiotic.  So, I'm on two antibiotics, twice a day.  We've added Aleve to the mix too.  So, I'm now on 6 daily medications...  And I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!

I'm still not allowed to work, and really, how would I?  I can't even touch my ears, I can't walk the dogs, I can't even shower everyday.  And now, I'm going to probably have to see the otolaryngologist (ear, nose and throat doc).  We'll see if they have any better solution.

All this adds up to me wanting to pig out on whatever I want, weight gain/loss be damned!  I want to whine.  I want to eat ice cream to make myself feel better.  You name it.  And my poor husband is taking the brunt of my bad mood.  He's trying to take it with stride, but I can feel his sympathy for me wearing off.  I don't blame him, I'm just being a down right bitch right now!  I'm trying not too, but when you've been in pain for 11 days, it kinda grates you down.  GRRRRRRR!!!!

Ok, I'm done whining.  I will work on a more optimistic outlook for tomorrow.  

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Blessed is the only word!

That's right, you heard me, still sick.  I tried to not take the pain meds today.... It took one walk of the dog to see that that was not a good idea.  I had hoped to be feeling well enough do some stuff around the house and walk the dogs.  No such luck...

Then, if it hasn't been a crazy enough time, I got a call today.  A much anticipated call.  The call I have been waiting for all week.  The emergency hospital I interviewed at called me today.  At first, I thought they were calling to tell me they went with someone else, but then she said the best thing ever, "We would like to offer you the job!"  HOLY COW!  In the seven months I've been out of school I have been so blessed.  There is no other way to put it.  BLESSED!

I got my dream job right out of school. The place that I never thought would hire me.  Then, I got offered a job out of the blue three months later that was a great opportunity.  And now it has happened again!  I feel so lucky!

I have always felt like an unlucky person.  I am Murphy's Law incarnate.  Seriously.  Take my awesome bilateral ear infections with sinus infection to boot!  That seems to be antibiotic resistant no less!  I'm a walking catastrophe...  And yet, here I am, looking at the opportunity I have always wanted!  A great job, with amazing benefits, at a wonderful, well respected hospital!  And, they love to hire internally, so I can change to different specialties and never leave the comfort of my workplace.  :)

I will miss my current job.  I love my coworkers and the small, family feel that we have.  I love that we all help each other out.  I love the flexibility and the seven minute commute.  I love that I got to scrub into surgery the other day.  Yep, the Dr needed help and I simply said that I had never scrubbed in before, so the other techs said, "Nows the time to do it!"  It's been amazing working there.  Everyone has been so supportive of me and has really helped me sharpen my skills... And those skills shined brightly at my working interview and helped me land this amazing opportunity.

There are things that frustrate me at my job.  Things I don't like.  Times I'm stressed and angry, but I know I will miss it.  It was such a great place to start.  I feel lucky to have worked there with such wonderful, experienced techs.  And now, I get to move onto another place with more wonderful experienced techs to help teach me more and and allow me to grow more professionally.

I'm so shocked and stunned!  I feel like they are going to call and say that they were wrong and had called the wrong person... Why me?  I couldn't have been the most experienced.  I mean, times are tough in the vet field.... But at the same time, I know a number of techs that didn't apply for the job because they didn't think they were qualified or knowledgeable enough.  But, I say "Poo! on that thinking."  How do you expect to learn if you never try?  I'm a dive right in and soak it up kinda person, and I guess that paid off!

WOW!  I'm just so stunned, excited, anticipatory, relieved, shocked, speechless... HOLY COW!!!!


Saturday, March 5, 2011

Well, I never!

I never, ever, in a million years thought I would ever say this... I'm sorta sad my husband is not active duty. There, it's out in the open.

Don't get me wrong, there are crappy things that come with being a reservist wife.

1. Active duty wives tend to not accept you as a milspouse. The exception to this rule has been in this wonderful blogging community. Y'all seem to accept that we are all in this life together, and you have no idea how amazing that has been for me. I know many active duty wives who look down on us. Some of the wives in my husbands unit were once active duty wives and they are the worst. They think they are so much better than the rest of us because they were active for a few years. It actually really hurts my feelings. :( I mean, we deal with the same military, and go through the same deployments... Doesn't that earn us a place at the table? Even if it is at the far end of the table? (I want to be clear. I do NOT think all active duty wives are like this. I know many who are not. But I do encounter it often. Which is too bad.)

2. Being a reservist, we do not live on or near base. The nearest base to me is the Naval base. It also means that we are not near any of the other wives from the unit. That means, no real local support. I get all my support long distance... mostly from all of you wonderful chickies. It makes deployments and separations very lonely and difficult when you have no one to relate to you or understand you.

3. We get the shaft in some of the benefits areas. It hasn't really been anything that seriously effected our lives, but sometimes it's hard. There are no scholarships for reservists wives etc. When I was going to school, I didn't qualify for anything. Things like that suck. I often feel like we get forgotten in the mix.

However, there are things I love about being reserve:

1. I don't have to move... Probably. I hate moving. My husband travels to his unit, but I don't have to. And if he changes units, it's likely it would also be close enough to drive to, or he would get an allowance to travel to it. Makes life easier sometimes.

Ok, so maybe that is really the only thing I have ever really loved about him being a reservist, but it used to be enough. The not having to move thing out weighed all other benefits of being active... until now.

So many people I have met or know are active duty. And they are all moving. Or have moved. Even many of you in the Milspouse blogger community. And everyone is having such wonderful adventures!

It's hard. I know. You have to make new friends, learn a new city, sometimes even a new language. But just think of all the amazing places you get to go when you follow your husband all over the country and all over the world! You get to see things that I can only dream about. You get to experience new things, new foods, new ways of life. I'm so jealous. I would love to live in Europe for a few years, Japan, Australia, anywhere! I would even love to live in another part of the US. No, not everywhere is great... I would not be thrilled about living at 29 Palms. A wife I know lived there for two years and hated it. But the one thing I never realized, or thought about, is that fact that all the moving, even to places you hate, make you stronger and more well rounded. You become more independent, you become more adept at meeting new people, you have to learn to be more flexible. It may be tough sometimes, but just think of what kind of person you can become from all of that living!

I would love to travel. I would love to see the world. My husband has seen the world, but I will never get to do it with him. :(

All you active duty ladies are so lucky in so many ways...

Friday, March 4, 2011

TIred of me yet?

Anyone else sick and tired of my complaining? Because I certainly am!

I'm ridiculous. Drill always comes at the worst times and no one ever said that just because you grow up means you are not longer vulnerable to things like ear infections. I'm just a big, stinking baby. I am in pain, but really, who wants to listen to me whine all weekend?

I have some pain meds on board and we are back to the "wait and see" prescription. Maybe I will need tubes, maybe I will need manual relief, maybe I will suddenly get better. Who knows. But, you know what? Complaining won't change any of that!

So, I will say, right now, I'm thankful for few things:

1. I'm thankful that vicodin was invented and that I'm not allergic to it, like I am codeine and many other meds. I may still be sick and my ears still hurt, but I care a whole lot less about it. LOL!

2. I'm especially thankful for being friends with my neighbors. They have kindly agreed to walk my puppy for me this weekend while the husband is away. They were very understanding and sympathetic to my illness.

3. I'm lucky to have a husband who has been promoted, which is why he can not miss drill. He is in a position of authority and can not be gone (he doesn't allow me to share his rank, position, or MOS). It may mean that he has to be gone when I'm sick and could really use him home, but I'm proud of him. And it's not realistic to think that any time I "need" him home it means he will be home. The military is not very flexible about that kinda stuff. :) This is not new to my life, so it's dumb for me to be upset about it.

4. The stupidest thing to be thankful for... In spite of being sick, and in pain, and wanting more than anything to fill up on junk and crap, I have managed to stick with my Weight Watchers plan all week. True, some days I want to give up, but I haven't yet. One thing my deployment experience taught me is that if you can make it through and make the best of a tough situation, you can make it through anything. If a marriage can survive a (or multiple) deployment, than it can survive anything else. If I can stick with my plan while sick, when I most want to quit, then I can stick with it any other time too.

Know, lets just hope that the antibiotic kicks finally kicks in, or at the very least, the ear pain drops and vicodin continue to work this weekend so I can quite being a whinny baby. :)