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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: It's almost a new year

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

It's almost a new year

I know, I've been MIA.  Sorry.

It's a few days from the start of a new year and here's the skinny on where I've been.  The truth.

Though it's true I've been in a funk lately, the truth is, I started a new job and over extended myself.

The truth is, I got horribly sick and was bed ridden for an entire week.

The truth is, I haven't been feeling awesome about my blog anymore.  Nor, FB, nor people in general.

The truth is, my marriage fell apart.  We are currently in the process of trying to pick up the pieces and glue them back together.  

The truth is, I don't know how I feel about posting my life here anymore.  I haven't been feeling like it's a safe place anymore.  I haven't been feeling like it's what my blog is about anymore.

I started this blog to deal with a deployment.  To cope with military life.  To cope with all that complications that all of this life has when married to a Marine.  He's still a Marine, and I'm still married to him, and we still have complications in spades, but I've been feeling like this blog has turned into something else.  I don't know what that is.

I know that when everything crumbled, I didn't feel safe posting about it.  I didn't feel comfortable and I didn't know if I would find support here or not.  In the past, I haven't. I was lonely without the comfort I used to find in this community.  I was sad that I didn't feel I could turn to my blog and my bloggy friends anymore.  But it's been a long time since I have felt that way now.  Many of you have been people I've become close to.  Many of you are people who I email back and forth with in my private life.  I missed feeling close to everyone, but I've come to realize that laying your life out for the public to view has just as many downsides as upsides.  The downside being that there are unkind people in this world.  There are people who feel they can say anything they want to you.  I get that enough in the real world.  I don't want to feel judged about my private thoughts.  So, maybe my thoughts should just stay private now.

I don't know.  We will see where the next year takes us and where I end up. I'm not saying goodbye just yet.  I just have a lot to be dealing with and need to find a safe place to cope.  I'm still trying my best to keep up with what y'all have been up to, even though I haven't been commenting.

I hope you all have a wonderful start to 2012.  


Blogger chambanachik said...

Hugs as always!

December 29, 2011 at 6:32 PM  
Blogger Rachelle said...

Hi Erin, I've been reading your blog for a while now but I don't ever really post comments. I just wanted to let you know that there are people here for you if you do ever need a place to vent. I too stopped posting on my blog for about 2 months (finally updated it a couple days ago) because I felt alone with all my troubles. I have recently found a group of ladies at a retreat for wounded warrior wives that have been able to bring me out of my funk and not feel so alone. I wonder if there is something online or locally that would be able to give you a safe place to vent or work through some of your thoughts. Another option if you are still wanting to blog, you can create a new blog that is completely private. They have the option to where you have to personally invite people to view your blog. That might be something worth checking out. I hope things get better for you and if you ever need someone to vent to, I'm willing to listen.

December 29, 2011 at 7:28 PM  
Blogger Doc's Girl (Noel) said...

I'm really sporadic about commenting, but I do love reading your blog. i tend to not comment unless I think I have something to say that is pertinent and/or could help you/make you feel better.

I do hope you feel better, and I hope you manage to put your marriage back together. I spent most of this year trying to put mine back together, and while it was a LOT of hard work (seriously, way more than I thought it'd be), we're getting there, and its making us stronger, slowly but surely.

I'm always around if you want to vent, want someone to listen, or even maybe grab some coffee with sometime (I'd totally meet you in the middle of where we both live).

*hugs* I hope 2012 is a good year for you.

December 29, 2011 at 8:41 PM  

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