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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Family

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Family

Do you ever wish you were closer to your family?  Not in distance, but emotionally?

I love my family.  Most of the time.  So, they can be jerks, and they tend lack consideration, but I love them.  I just wish they loved me too.

Even my mom, who I used to be extremely close to... It's like her and my dad were just waiting until I got married and was no longer their problem.  They never call and when I call them, they don't have time to talk to me.  Pretty much since the day I walked down the aisle. I distinctly remember that being the year that her and my dad stopped putting much effort into spending time with me or even calling.

I called my mom today for instance, since her birthday was a few days ago.  I emailed her on her birthday because I was working all day and into the evening and it was too late to call when I got home.  She doesn't seem to know or understand texting, so I emailed and figured I would call on my day off.  She told me a bit about the weekend away they took to celebrated and then asked if I was going to be at Thanksgiving or Christmas.  When I said I hadn't even been contacted about Thanksgiving, she still seemed a bit surprised that I had, thus, not planned on being there.  I had no idea who was hosting, since my great aunt has been saying for the last two years that she wasn't going to host it anymore, and I still don't know what time dinner even starts.  I told her I would likely have to work on Christmas, but even if I don't have an official Christmas shift, my Christmas Eve shift doesn't end until 4am on Christmas day, so it's unlikely I will be present.  She seemed irritated....

However, I call her, on average, once a week.  She never talks to me for more than a few minutes.  She immediately gets off the phone if my dad comes home from work (such as tonight when I called, in spite of not having talked to me in a while) and doesn't seem interested in anything going on in my life.  She didn't even contact me to tell me her and my dad were going out of town last weekend.  I have offered to have them visit us for dinner more times than I can count and they haven't come yet.  My dad hasn't been here since the house warming party (mind you we bought our house three years ago) and my mom hasn't been here since my husband deployed. (for those of you counting, he left in Dec of '08)  What does that say about my family.

But my mom always seems miffed that we can't make the hour drive (each way) to visit on short notice.... Not that she's invited us down lately... Or at all in the last 1.5 years.

The rest of my family?  Well, the last time I heard from my aunt, was because she wanted to know if I wanted my great grandmothers vanity.  Oh, and if I did, could I please find out how much it will cost to ship it from SoCal to here, oh, and pay for it?  Thanks.  Oh, and you need to be able to do that and come up with the outrageous amount of money in two weeks.

I haven't heard from a single other family member.  No one bothered to tell me my uncle is coming in for Christmas from NY or I might have tried to get Christmas day off.  But hey, the last time any of my relatives visited, they spent more time visiting friends than making time for the hubs and I.  We have pretty much stopped bothering to even try to make the drive down to visit, usually they just blow us off anyway.

They all seem to talk to each other, but no one seems to talk to me.

The other side of my family is much better.  But mostly because we are all on FB.  Even so, I'm visiting my cousin in London and my other cousins all keep in contact.  The aunts and uncles try and we all email every now and then.  We try to visit and make time for each other when we are visiting.  There's something to be said about that.

It just sucks.  I tend to forget about this issue the rest of the year, but am always reminded around the holidays that my family doesn't seem to care about me.  At least, not enough to make it a priority to see me.  Which is probably why I always entertain the idea of moving to Australia.  Hard to miss your family much from across the world, when they didn't care enough about you to see you when you lived on the same continent...

5 Comments:

Blogger The Social Frog said...

There are a few certain family members outside of my immediate family that I'd like to be closer to, I've tried over the years, but sometimes people just have no interest and no matter how much you try, you can never force someone to want to. With that said, I am very close to my parents and brothers and sisters. I talked my mother a few hours every day, unless it is the weekend and busy for us. I talk to my family on the phone since I am in Japan and they are in the states but we are close. Everyone else I kind of gave up on because why bother exerting energy that could be used for something else on those who don't give a crap what you've done today or what you will do the rest of your life! Life is too short my dear. How sad though with your mom and dad :( I feel for you because I know all to many people who are not all that close with parents and it makes me appreciate my relationship with mine, all the more! Hugs

www.thesocialfrog.com

November 17, 2011 at 8:27 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Wow I am so sorry you are going through this. Its so sad to know you are so "physically" close and yet still dealing with this. What most of us wouldn't give to be able to drive to our families homes for Christmas. I wish you Peace and hope everything works out for the best!

November 17, 2011 at 10:45 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Wow I am so sorry you are going through this. Its so sad to know you are so "physically" close and yet still dealing with this. What most of us wouldn't give to be able to drive to our families homes for Christmas. I wish you Peace and hope everything works out for the best!

November 17, 2011 at 10:45 PM  
Blogger chambanachik said...

There are some people like that in my family too. :( No fun.

November 18, 2011 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger MrsMcDancer said...

I'm sorry; I think family+ growing up = rough adjustments often times {of course there are those who have "perfect" families, but they are few and far between} The holidays just make it worse! Wish I had some sage advice for you, but all I can offer is, just don't let it get to you too much. Enjoy your holidays!

November 18, 2011 at 7:08 PM  

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