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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Things are not always perfect

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Things are not always perfect

Like it or not, but the above is true...

My husband and I are worlds better in the relationship department than we were, but things are not always perfect.  The last few weeks I have been feeling the disconnect between us.  I'll tell you why.  Here's examples from just yesterday...  I rolled over in bed last night and look at him and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I really love you."  His reply?  "Mission accomplished."  That is a a complete dick move.  Yesterday was my weigh in day.  I lost 5.2 pounds!!!!  I told him that and that I had lost 1.5 inches off my waist and 0.5 inches off my bust.  His reply?  "That means you boobs have gotten smaller?"  Gee, thanks babe.  Way to make me feel good about myself.

I told him about the horrid woman's article and how outraged I was.  His reply?  "I'm not saying she's right, but maybe that is what it's like for her.  She's an officers wife, you don't know what that is like."  He then went on and on about how I have no idea how it might be in Norfolk, VA and how that may be her experience etc etc.  No matter how many times I told him that I was offended by the stuff she said.

I keep trying to talk to him, but this is how he responds time and time again.  I have just been feeling so disconnected from him.  Saturday night, I was fed up!  I was exhausted from painting for so many days.  I was tired from cleaning the house all day and moving furniture and I walked into the kitchen to find the one pot he used clean, but the four dishes I had used that day still dirty.  Though they were dirty when he washed his one pot.  I lost it.  Not in a WWIII kinda a way, but in a WTH?  Why do that?  What leave it all for me to do?  Kinda way. Then Sunday morning, we woke up and I said the dogs probably needed to go out, he said, "So, what? I don't get to sleep in on the weekends?"  Uhm, it was 8:30am.  He usually gets up at 6.  Isn't that sleeping in?  And the fact that I had told him the night before that I really, really needed some rest because I was so sore from painting?  What about that?  GRRR.  Or our agreement that he walks the dogs in the morning and before bed and I usually do it the rest of the time.

It's hard to feel connected to a man that is obviously not interested in you.  I love him.  I really do.  But sometimes I look at him and wonder why he isn't as interested in taking care of me as I am in him.  I work full time.  But, because I don't work as many hours as he does, I work hard to do laundry and dishes and clean etc so that he doesn't have to come home after a long day of work and worry about clean work clothes, clean dishes, dinner or anything else.  I want to take care of him.  I want to give him things and make sure he has everything he wants.  So, why doesn't he want those things for me?

Sometimes things are great, sometimes they are not.  Right now, they are mediocre at best.  I'm hoping they improve as the week goes on.  I would really like to have him come home some night and say, "thanks for doing that for me honey." Or, "I really really love you too"  It would be nice to hear those things every now and then.


Blogger Mrs. Mask said...

sorry it seems tough right now. ~HUGS~

March 28, 2011 at 4:08 PM  
Blogger Krystal. said...

Your not alone. Things for me the last couple of days have been so tough. All he wants to do is be on the computer or on XBOX playing those shitty games. I'M SO FED UP!!!!!! I could go on and on about it, but it won't do me any good. Just hoping things will get better!! :/

March 28, 2011 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger chambanachik said...

All I can say is I know how it is. You know I've been there too. :(

March 28, 2011 at 4:53 PM  
Blogger Sasha said...

Definitely not alone. My husband is in Korea right now and he just doesn't make a huge effort to call me anymore or message me back. And it's not so much making me mad as really hurting my feelings. I'm sorry though :( I hope things get better!

March 28, 2011 at 5:15 PM  
Blogger Consider The Lilies said...

I've been here girl! my husband's response is always "sorry I dont know the script you have for me!" or something dumb like that. men can just be jerks sometimes. I hope he comes around soon! thinking of you!

March 28, 2011 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Nicole Marie said...

Things aren't always perfect. I'm not sure if you two are newly-weds but we are, and I can tell that we still need time to get use to each other. I have had to have a couple of talks with him about being more attentive. I just don't think guys think or feel the way we do. You should try talking to him about how you feel. I find that usually works. As soon as he finally understands how I feel, things seemed to change, for the better. Just got to help them out a bit.

And btw, I am an officer's wife, and we are not nasty. There is no excuse for her ugly article.

March 28, 2011 at 7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been there (and still am). You're absolutely not alone.

I have come to a firm standing that men just do NOT think before they speak 112% of the time.

*hug* Hang in there.

March 28, 2011 at 8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry hun. I hope things start looking up soon! Everyone goes through ups and downs but maybe if you talk to him about teamwork and how working together will benefit you both and make you both happier that might help?

Thinking of you!

March 29, 2011 at 7:44 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

As much as I hate to say this. But the woman in the article was right. I live in virginia. The hamptons road area is horrible. I've shared the article with the three military wives that I am close with here.. And sadly. 90% of the people we have met, are like those girls described in the article.. In the 5 1/2 years as being a Navy wife, we have been here 4. And I have 3 good friends here. One being my best friend from before the military, she just happened to marry a sailor, and move here... I don't associate with anyone, other then them now.. I've had to many girls, borrow money, not repay us, and not tell their husbands about it.. To many try to hit on my husband (including one, knowing my husband was picking up our kids one day- Walking around her house in a bikini- and asking him to go skinny dipping her with- I was on the phone, little did she know)
We are moving out of VA, ASAP
Other then that. My husband does the same thing as your husband!

March 31, 2011 at 7:15 AM  

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