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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: February 2010

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Our Second Anniversary in Pictures

So, we go to the scene of the crime every year for our anniversary. We usually eat at Anthony's on Pier 66 after that. These are the picture from that.



This is my husband feeding a crab. The employee who was supposed to feed him couldn't reach, so I volunteered my husband.


This is the crab eating.


Need I say more?


Sea horses! One of my favorites! The males carry the babies, just so you know.


These fish have suckers on their bellies so they can suction onto rocks and shells. They are a new addition to the aquarium.


This is a female, Giant Pacific Octopus. They are the largest breed of octopus in the world and are indigenous to our area. They average 30 to 50 pounds, but have been recorded up to 200 pounds. I'm an terrified of octopus. The ones at the aquarium only live there for about a year before they release them back into the Puget Sound. (the aquarium is on the water front) I have a fear of them and I know that they grow bigger and then reach over the pier and snag unsuspecting tourist! Plus, the ones at the aquarium escape all the time. They just crawl out of the enclosure. Too freaky!

This is the dessert that Anthony's did for us in celebration of our anniversary.


This is the chocolate fish they made that decorated our dessert.

I had some video of the octopus being fed and of otters playing and such, but they were taking too long to load. Sorry. I also had to omit any pictures of my husbands face because he's weird about being put on my blog... We had some good pictures of us in the dome and stuff. Oh, well.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

3:30 am

Well, I can't sleep. Mostly because my husband is snoring so loud. :(

We went bowling tonight with some friends and ending up being out until 2am. Crazy. I'm rarely up that late. I was exhausted by the time we finally left. But now I can't sleep.

We are celebrating out two year anniversary today. We got married on the leap year, so we don't actually have an anniversary this year, but we figure we should celebrate anyway. Now, I'm afraid I'm going to be exhausted all day. I'm wide awake right now with no sign of sleeping any time soon.

Every year we go to the Seattle Aquarium for our anniversary. That is where we got married.


The picture above is the view of our wedding from the balcony. We got married in front of a 50 foot fish tank. It was looked pretty amazing.



The picture above is of us in the under water dome. It's my favorite part of the aquarium. You actually go underwater and see the fish from below. It awesome. We decorated it with Christmas lights and I gave my husband his grooms cake there. It was an exact replica of the tank he is commander of. I'll have to post pictures of that some other time.


This is us in front of the 50 foot fish tank.

Our wedding was amazing and I wish we could do it all again. We had so much fun.

So, I hope I'm not too tired to visit the aquarium today. I hope I can catch a nap before my husband gets up.

UGH! I hate insomnia.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Choices

Well, first off, the new washer and dryer came. But they couldn't be hooked up because our laundry closet is too small. So we have to have the delivery guys come again today with a special extension set. It lengthens the hose so they can hook it all up in the hallway and then push it all back into the closet. Such is life.

As far as the rest of life... Well... I want to drop out of school and move to another country where no one knows who I am and has never heard of a Vet Tech. I've been feeling kinda blue lately. I do that sometimes for no reason. School is not helping. My science class is making me hate life and school all at the same time. And to make it even better, I'm coming to the time where I need to make a decision about where to do my externship.

I have two more sequences of school left, but I have to know where I want to go by the beginning of my last one. So, I really only have one sequence left to make up my mind. I kept telling myself that I had time. I wasn't worried about being confused and unsure because I had loads of time to think about it... And now I don't.

So, where to go?

I got into school with the intention of going into large animal medicine. It's so much fun. I loved my large animal class. Wrestling llamas and treating pigs is so much fun. So I could very easily go to Pilchuck Hospital. They do both large and small animals. They are one of the largest multi-species hospitals in the country and have a really good reputation. They only take the best students. You have to have a 3.6 or higher GPA to go there. I have a 4.0.

Or, I could go into research. I love research. I'm so interested in all the amazing things that come out of that field. Organ transplant, heart surgery, cancer treatments, new drugs, they all come from research. How neat would that be. There are a number of research facilities I can go to for school. They also require a high GPA. And I would have a really good shot at getting a job at the place I do my externship.

And my third choice, is perhaps the best one of them all. WSU. For those outta state readers, WSU is Washington State University. It's about 6 hours away from where I live, if not 7-8. I would have to live in Pullman for 6 weeks. It would be expensive, which is why my husband doesn't want me to go. But it's a teaching school. They have a vet school there with a huge hospital. They see exotics, large animals and do research all in one place. I could spend a few weeks doing research, a few weeks in large animal and a few weeks in small animal. I would get a taste of everything. Plus, it would look amazing on a resume to have done my externship there.

I have no idea how to choose where to go. I wouldn't get a job out of Pilchuck or WSU. It's hard to get into large animal medicine, so even if I did do an externship there, I wouldn't be able to get a job right away. It could take years to work my way into the field.... But it would be fun. Research pays really well, and I would probably get a job right away. But WSU would be an amazing experience.

I just don't know where to go. Choices, choices.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Hello Again!

It has been a while since I've posted... Aside from my post about the guy in Virginia. Truth be told, I've been avoiding my blog. After my nasty comment, I have been worried about posting things and having people be mean about it. But I can't live my life in fear of what some random stranger might say, so I'm back.

We finally got paid by the military! We got paid Presidents Day weekend. But, because our washer and dryer broke, we were only able to pay my parents back half of what we owe. But we did managed to get a great price on a new washer and dryer. Lowe's offers a military discount all year round and it even applies to sale items! So we got our new units on sale and with an additional 10% off! Rock on! They are being delivered today. I'm pretty excited to have a dryer that dries.

School is not going as well. I'm taking General Science right now. It's organic chemistry, biology and math all rolled into one. It's not a hard class, I understand the material, but I really don't like the way my teacher teaches the class. She is really hard to follow. Plus, she keeps offering help and not delivering it. I have emailed her with questions and she says she will get back to me and never does. I've asked for additional homework to practice and never gotten it. It's really irking me. No, I'm not failing the class. Yes, I still have an A, but I don't know how much longer I can maintain that A. It's tough.

My other class is going well. Lab animals and exotics! It's super interesting. Did you know that reptiles lack the proper chemicals in their body to make liquid pus? It's actually hard and has to be surgically removed instead of drained like in a human or cat or dog. Really interesting.

I can't wait to be done with school. I'm so drained, but I'm almost there. 17 weeks and two days. Then on to my externship. I'm having a hard time deciding where I want to go. My choices are amazing and... Well, I just don't know where to choose. It's a whole other post to explain my options and why I can't make up my mind. I'll do that in a few days.

Things with the hubby are good. We still fight. All the time. But it's productive fighting. We are getting somewhere now. He is getting better about listening to me. I'm getting better about being patient. It helps that he works all day and I'm at school all night. We are not getting under each others skin anymore. We still have a bumpy road ahead of us. I spoke with a friend, and ex military wife, about it and she said it can take a year or more the get right again. That gives me hope. It just takes time to get back in the swing of things. We will get there. It's hard now, but we will get there.

We are coming up on our two year anniversary. In all fairness, he was gone for a year of that, so really it's only been a year... But I still count it. LOL! It's hard to believe it's already been two years!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Seriously

There is a guy in Virginia who is being being attacked by his home owners association for putting up a flag pole.

He is a Medal of Honor recipient. He has fought in three wars. He is a retired Colonel. Every morning he raises his flag. Every night, he takes it down and folds it into the familiar military triangle.

His home owners association has decided that his upright, erect flag pole is an eye sore. They sent him a letter telling him that if he didn't take it down they are going to pursue legal action and that he would be responsible for all court costs on both sides. Seriously. I'm not making this up.

The issue? It is a pole in the middle of his front yard. Others in the neighborhood have the slanted poles that attach to the side of their house. Those are ok. But an erect flag pole is not? Really? I can't believe it. He is fighting it and gaining support of politicians and civilians alike. There is nothing in his home owners association contract that forbids upright flag poles.

He says he put it up, instead of the slanted one, because that is the way he has always flown the flag. Upright. It makes sense. He cited battles he fought and bases he's been stationed on and said that they have always put the flag upright, and so does he. Makes perfect sense to me.

What is completely unbelievable to me is the situation in general. Home owners associations are there to protect property value. I have one and we have all kinds of crazy rules. Holiday decorations can not be up any more than 10 days after the holiday has past. You can hang curtains, but the back side of them must be white so that all of our homes look uniform from the outside, etc, etc. It is all in the name of selling homes for the highest value.

Explain to me how a flag pole lowers home value. Personally, I see a flag pole, proudly displaying the American flag on it and think, "this is the kinda place I would like to live." Not, "oh my God! There's an erect flag pole in that guys front yard! YUCK!"

I hope to God he wins the fight. It will be a sad day, indeed, when someone is being told they can't have a flag pole in their front yard. And that is all it is. It's not some ostentatious display. It's not over the top. It's not some crazy out building he build and painted violent pink with a flag on top. It's a simple flag pole that proudly displays our American flag. And for Gods sake, he's a Medal of Honor recipient. Don't those guys get a free pass? Three wars, WWII and Korea included. He lead his men into battles. He fought for our country. He is a freaking Colonel. Does any of that mean anything anymore?

What is this country coming to?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I do not...

I do not have a house keeper. I do not, currently, have a dog walker.

Those are two luxuries that we can not afford at this time. As a homemaker, I did not have either of these things. How lazy would I have to be to have a house keeper and a dog walker if I don't work.

I currently spend about 10 hours a day on school. Whether it's homework, studying, or actual class time. My program is very demanding. When my husband was away, I had a house keeper and a dog walker to make sure that those things were getting done when I had no one here to help me. Saturday and Sunday are homework days and I routinely spend a minimum of six to eight hours on homework on those days. I now have my husband home and he helps a great deal. I no longer need a housekeeper because he helps me clean in my spare time.

We talked about bringing the dog walker back. My husband works 12 hours a day and is too tire to walk the dog when he gets home. She only gets walked on the weekends right now, and we worry that that is not enough. However, we can not hire her back until we have money in the bank, or we would be the most financially irresponsible people on earth.

The fact remains that a lot of people seem to have issues with anyone who doesn't work. I appreciate anyone who does. I think it's great if you enjoy it. I enjoy working. I like having a job. But I look at being a wife, and a housewife, as a job. It's one that my husband values very highly. No, it's true, that would not work for everyone. No, not everyone would enjoy not working. Some can't afford it. But my husband makes a great deal of money at his civilian job and, as soon as the military finally pays us and we are caught up, it's a life style we can afford.

I'm sorry that so many people take issues with housewives. I honestly don't understand why. I love bringing home a paycheck, that is totally true. I miss having a job most of the time. But I enjoy being home and taking care of everything here. I love doing laundry and having the time to wash my floors every other day. I like dusting and cleaning in general. I like having time to do dishes by hand. I love being able to devote a few hours to taking my dog on a nice long walk.
I look forward to graduating from school and getting a job. I'm excited about my field and all the opportunities I have before me. I'm excited for having extra money coming in so that we can do all the things we can't do on a single income, like own a horse or buy nice cars. But the fact remains, that my husband prefers me to be home and I will always do my best to honor that.

We have very little debt. We will have school loans to pay when I graduate, but I got a grant from the military, so it won't be much. We usually have money in the bank as well and I have blogged about why we don't.

I have no problem with people who want to work, I have no issue with people who have to work, I have no issue with anyone who does anything that works in their life, their lifestyle, or their marriage. I only ask that people be respectful. Just because our lifestyle would not work for you, doesn't make it wrong or bad. It works for us.

There is nothing wrong with being a housewife. It doesn't make me lazy, or unAmerican. I often joke that my husband wants a wife from the 50's. It's sorta true. But I'm ok with that. If it makes him happy, and it doesn't hurt me or my ideals, what's the big deal?


I broke my golden rule. I blogged angry. I have deleted the blog. I apologize to anyone who may have read it. It is late at night, so I'm hoping none of you did.

I do not work because I go to school full time and my husband kindly asked me to focus on school. We have often discussed my working, especially now that the military has not paid us again, but each time HE comes to the conclusion that he doesn't want me to work. It means money is tight for us, that is true, but only until I graduate. The reason we had to borrow money from my parents is not because we are bad with money. It is simply because we used up all of our back up money the first time we didn't get paid back in September. We never fully recovered, so when the military failed to pay us two paychecks in December/January, we had no place to go but my parents. It was not an easy choice to beg for money. However, we did it and we are fine with our decision.

Let me go back to blogging angry for a minute- I have had this blog for over a year now. In all of that time, I have only had two negative comments come through. I have seen, on blogs that I follow, that that is very lucky. I have seen first hand exactly how mean spirited people can be. I don't know why people feel the need to leave negative comments. I will never understand the ugly side of humanity, but some people do it. I had a pretty horrible comment come through today. I will never understand going to a complete stranger and calling them names. I will never understand going to someone you don't know, who you will never meet and have no need to be around and saying mean things to them. My feeling is that, if you don't like a blog, don't read it. I have encountered many blogs in my life that I didn't agree with. I have never felt the need to say so. I just simply move on to another blog. I encourage all of you that do not like what I have to say, to go somewhere else. No one is forcing you to read my blog.

I worked a job for seven years that showed me the worst side of humanity. I was assaulted by a customer. I was threatened with bodily harm nearly every day. I was called names and spit at. I lost a lot of faith in the goodness of people. I left that job four years ago and struggle every day to see the good in people. Today, I was reminded of how much I struggle with that. My first reaction to an mean spirited person was a rather mean spirited blog. I immediately went back to hating people. However, this blog has shown me the good side of people. Complete strangers have said nice things to me for no reason. People I don't know encourage me in school and pat me on the back. People I will never meet have understood the challenges that come with being married to a Marine, fresh home from war. That proves that there is good in people somewhere.

We all struggle in life. It doesn't really matter what that struggle is. I often blog openly about my struggles. Whether is be school or my husband, I am always honest. That honesty bit me in the butt today. Someone didn't appreciate my honesty about my husband and my struggle to readjust back to married life. He struggles everyday with being a civilian again. He struggles everyday to go to work and interact with people. He works very hard to readjust, not just to life, but to marriage. He forgets sometimes that he is not in charge anymore. He forgets that we are partners. But I struggle too. I grew very used to living alone. A year alone will do that. Having someone in my space all the time, clamoring for my attention is hard. I had very little interaction with people while my husband was gone. Human interaction is a bit hard for me now. I struggle because he hasn't jumped back into life, ready and willing to help. I pray for more patience everyday. I struggle because I missed him and worried about him every second of everyday and sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming that he is even really here. I used to have vivid dreams that he was here holding me, only to wake up confused and sad that he wasn't. Now I have vivid dreams that he is gone again. I wake up and he has already left for work, so I'm not sure what to believe. That is my struggle. That is my reality.

My husband is a hard man to be married to, but I am a hard woman to be married to. I'm sure that if he kept a blog, people would be upset about the things he has to say about me. The truth is, I don't know if anyone in this world could put up with my husband the way I do, and there is definitely no one in this world who would put up with me. We are well suited for each other. It's true I don't work. It's true that I aspire to not work. But that is the life my husband and I chose for ourselves. I am happy to work for as long as he will let me, but I know the day is coming when he will ask me to stay home again. And when that day comes, I will struggle to give up my financial freedom for the role of wife. But I will. I will because it works for us. I will because I love my husband and being there for him and loving him is all I want out of life. And if he wants me home to cook his meals and clean his house and take care of his dog, then that is what I will do. My husbands wants and happiness has always come first in my life... Sometimes in a not so positive way or outcome... but I will continue to do what he asks of me. He has asked that I not work while going to school. I will honor that. He feels it's for the best and we will make due with what we have until I graduate.

Honestly, now that he is back at his civilian job, our money troubles should be over. He makes way more as a civilian than he does as a Marine. It's just a matter of getting caught up now.

I try to never blog angry, but I am human. You may not always like what I have to say, but that's ok. I'm not here to make everyone happy. I never intended for people to read my blog really. It's still sorta weird to me that people do. I have thought many times about making it private. I have thought many times about going offline. I, honestly, don't think I'm all that interesting, so it surprises me that anyone would want to read my blog, let alone get all riled up about it. But two mean comments in over a year isn't bad. I've heard of worse. But I'm here to say that my goal for this blog is to be honest. No matter what. I will always be honest about what I think and what I feel. I'm not asking anyone to agree with me. I'm not asking anyone to like what I have to say. I write this blog for me. I needed a place to vent. I had no one to talk to and no one to relate to and that is why I started this ridiculous blog. No one is forcing anyone to read this. I will not be mad if all of my followers decided to stop following right now. I would still blog.

I will be re-enabling comments. I temporarily disabled them. FYI: I moderate my comments, so if I don't like what you have to say, I won't post it. I have only done that a few times, but I'm not going to post mean spirited things in my comments. And really, I am a person. A person with feelings, thoughts and emotions. Just because you don't know me and have never met me... Just because I am some anonymous blogger, doesn't mean your comments won't hurt my feelings. If you can't say something nice, maybe you should keep it to yourself. Why be mean to a total stranger? What's the point in that?


Monday, February 1, 2010

I miss being a housewife

I am realizing today, exactly how much I miss being a housewife. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy having a job. Even more than working, I love bringing in money and helping financially. I like having a place to be everyday. School is an extension of that. I get up and do homework and study all day long, then I go to school. I like that.

But man, I miss being a housewife. I miss keeping the house spotless. I miss being able to do laundry in the middle of the week. I miss having clean bathrooms. I miss walking my dog everyday. I miss being home for my husband when he gets home from work. I can't cook worth a darn, so I won't say anything about having a delicious meal ready for him. But I miss having dinner with him everyday.

I really loved being a homemaker. My husband and I agreed early on that I would work part time so I can could continue to do that. But I decided I want to work full time for a few years. We have debt to pay off and I want to save up a ton of money and really get our retirement accounts full before going back to being a housewife. We have responsibilities and such that only make it make sense for me to work full time... But to let you in on a little secret: I have never worked full time in my life. Not a single day. I have never worked more than 30 hours in a work week and that was rare. What if I don't like to work full time? I imagine it is exhausting. I picture being tired all the time and never having time for anything.

My husband has agreed that we will not work full time without help. I will hire back my housekeeper and we already have a dog walker. I can't imagine working all day long, every day, then coming home and cleaning the house. I have so much respect for people who are able to keep their houses neat and clean and work full time. In fact, I have so much respect for people who work full time in general. I did work full time during my externship, but it was unpaid and part of school, so I don't really count it. But I guess I did get a lot of stuff done. I worked four tens and I cleaned on Friday. But man, was I tired all the time.

No, I just don't see myself working full time forever. I want to be a housewife. I miss being a housewife. I did get bored sometimes, that is true, but over all, I managed to keep busy all day long. I miss that.

***

On an unrelated note: When it rains at my house, it pours. We are still broke, though our bills were paid thanks in large part to a very generous, no-interest loan from my parents. However, we will not be able to catch up as we had hoped. Our washer and dryer broke this weekend. :( It's a stacked, so it's one unit. We knew this day was coming. We have been pricing new ones pretty much since we bought the house a year ago, but the day has finally come. The dryer does not dry. It takes two cycles to get our cloths dry enough to hang up. I say dry enough, because they are still not all the way dry. :( We are waiting until the President's Day (week) sales to buy a new one. Hopefully we can get a good, no APR for a year, financing deal. We won't be able to buy the beautiful washer and dryer of my dreams, but we should be able to get a decent one. Our stove is broken too, but it's just one burner and my husband thinks he can fix it. And it's only a matter of time before the dishwasher and water heater go out too. We have been pricing all of these things... We've just been hoping they last long enough for us to save up some money to pay for them. We'll see.