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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Frustated

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Frustated

As you know, I'm sick. I've been sick since Dec 11th. Since I've been sick, I've managed to work a full week, clean up the house after our Christmas party, do laundry and pick up the house.

Last week, I couldn't do all of that all the time. So, I did laundry, but didn't fold it and put it away. I couldn't do the dishes everyday. I couldn't clean all the time. You would think that my husband would come home and help. But he hasn't. Not once.

So, the laundry stayed in the basket unfolded, the dishes stayed in the sink, clutter stayed on the counters.

Yesterday, I slept all day. When my husband came home, I asked him to do the dishes before he came up to bed. This morning, I decided to do as much as possible around the house before I started coughing so much that I had to lay back down and take my meds. I discovered that my husbands version of doing the dishes was to not rinse any of them and just shove them any which way in the dishwasher. So, I got to take all the dishes out, rinse and scrub them, then put them back so that they all fit and will get clean.

I'm so frustrated. It's bad enough that he never helps anyway. I work full time, he works full time. But for some reason, him working full time means that he doesn't have to help around the house. I rarely ask him to help me because I know he won't anyway. But when I'm sick, shouldn't that be an exception? Shouldn't he recognize that I can't do anything and that he should come home and help?

He comes home and digs through the laundry basket looking for clean clothes, he'll even ask me if something is clean, but he won't think to put the laundry away so that he can find his clothes. He will use the clean dishes. He'll even take clean dishes out of the clean dishwasher, but he won't unload that dishwasher. Let alone reload it without me asking... And, obviously when I do ask, he does the bare minimum to make it look like he helped. I'm not sure how clogging the dishwasher drain with food, or getting food stuck in it and letting it rot so that all my dishes stink is helpful. And the single most frustrating thing about all of this is that we've been over it a million times.

Every time I'm sick, we go over how I need him to come home and help me. We've been over the fact that we have an old crappy dishwasher that requires the dishes to be rinsed and scrubbed a million times now. We've been over how to load the dishes so that everything fits, and most importantly everything gets clean, a million times. We've been over helping with laundry, picking up after yourself etc etc.

So, today, when I woke up still sick and decided to try to get some stuff done, it was frustrating to find dishes just randomly crammed into the dishwasher with cheese and other food dried on them. It was frustrating to see that he left two cups that require hand washing in the sink, still dirty. It was frustrating that I had to re-do the dishes, and that I just don't have the energy to do those dishes by hand.

I just can't do much. I have bronchitis. Just moving makes me cough. I would just like some help. Most of the time I am perfectly happy to do all the housework. I've tried asking for help, but, in 5 years of being together, have learned that I probably won't get it anyway. Most of the time, it's not that big of a deal. But how many times can you tell a person that when you are sick, you need help? How many times can you ask that person to come home and pick up after themselves?

I guess it's my fault. Since I don't make him help the rest of the time, I guess it's my fault that he doesn't help when I really need it... Like when I'm sick. I'm just so frustrated. The house was a pit until I cleaned this weekend. Which sucked because I'm sick and wanted to just be laying on the couch. And now, I really don't want to be cleaning and doing dishes and I'm probably going to have to... or just live in the filth and accept that we will have no clean clothes or dishes until I am well. :(

1 Comments:

Blogger Just Another MilSpouse said...

Having to clean up someone else's mess when you are that sick really sucks. I'm sorry, I wish I could help you out or at least give you advice on how to get your husband to help; but I don't know that secret. Although if I ever figure it out I will be sure to let you know if you promise to do the same for me, lol.

December 21, 2010 at 10:30 AM  

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