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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Cool as a Cucumber

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Cool as a Cucumber

I have an uncanny knack for being cool under pressure. I never get test anxiety, I never stress when I have people looking over my shoulder... Not even when a lot is riding on it. I didn't lose a wink of sleep over my licensing exam. I slept like a baby the night before it. I didn't so much as get a single butterfly in my stomach the day of. Not even knowing that I did not get as much studying done as I would have liked to. I only had time for one of my review books, I didn't have a chance to go over and memorize the list of parasites that I was unfamiliar with. I never did finish a single outline for a single topic. But I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "it is what it is."

That said, it catches up with me. I took my licensing exam on Wend. I went and visited my school afterward to see a teacher and wish some of my former classmates good luck on finals. I then went home and slept incredibly well. But yesterday I was anxious for no good reason. Not all the time, but it would kind of sneak up on me at random throughout the day.

I went to a family reunion and visited, drove home (late, I might add) exhausted from a long day, took a Nyquil and laid in bed until 4am. Every time I closed my eyes I would dream about multiple choice questions. What is the generic name for the drug in the question? I can't remember! No, no, the dose for that animal isn't correct, that is way too much medication, that would kill the animal! And so on, and so forth all night.

At 4 am I gave up and went downstairs to watch TV until my husband woke up. On the bright side, because I have insomnia anyway, on a normal day, I am well adept at living life with very little (or in this case no) sleep. My record is two consecutive days with no sleep at all and two weeks with less than four hours a night. You do sort of get used to it. But I just hate that my stress sneaks up on me like that. I feel cool, calm and collected, never rattled for anything and then BAM! It all hits me at once. Luckily, I don't do this all the time, and when it does happen, it is always after the stressful event. I call it my "delayed reaction" to stress. I don't worry about things before they happen, but man, do I fret after it is over.

Hopefully, tonight, I will be so tired that I will just crash.

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