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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: WOW!

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

WOW!

All I have to say is, "WOW!"

It always makes me smile when complete strangers are supportive. Even better when people I know are.

After my post yesterday, a few of you said some really nice things that helped me get back on track. I also emailed a teacher, who has always been supportive of me, about my little problem... She put it like this:

"I always related it to climbing a very intense set of stairs. Right now it's like you are 75% done and you can see the top, but you are just exhausted (mentally and physically), but the end is so close you don't want to give up.

Just push through, every step up is a step closer to your end goal. I know you'll make, just stretch (mind and body) and breathe and nest thing you know you are at the top and you'll be so proud of yourself that when you look down at all those stairs, knowing that you did it all by yourself, you'll feel so proud that it makes up for all those burning muscles and (maybe) shed tears.
I know you can do Erin, just keep breathing and you'll accomplish your 4.0."

Talk about perspective. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

I'm still struggling, but feel much more motivated about it. I know I can do this.

I'm doing this for my husband. I'm doing this so I can be proud of my job. I'm doing this because I wanted a change. I want to be successful, I want a better life for my husband and myself. I want to love what I do. Those are good reasons to keep plugging away.

It was so kind of you all to offer a support. It was so kind that you all offered to listen to me complain... Sometimes I feel like that's all I do anymore... But it was nice to know that someone out there understands what I'm going through, even if it is a stranger, or someone I only know online. There are different ways to support people and be there for them and there are different ways to get support. That is one thing I love about my blog, sometimes it's nice to know I'm not the only one going through whatever I may be going through.

I'm still struggling in the aftermath of my husbands deployment. We are still adjusting to life. I'm still adjusting to life. Things are so different now. Toss all of that with school stress, exam stress, licensing stress, and homework stress and I'm just a mess, emotionally. But I'm not the first military wife to struggle with school and life and the military. I'm not the only one in the world worried about grades or passing my classes. A lot of people do this with kids or other stresses that I don't have. I just need to remember that no matter what is going on in my life, I'm not the first to feel that way and I won't be the last. All is not lost. I can do this. I'm so close to being done. I can't give up now. I just needed a little perspective to remind me where I am in life, and what I'm trying to accomplish.

No, a 4.0 will not change my life. It will not make me a better tech that I already am... But it's a goal I set, and one I want to accomplish. I won't cry if I fail because I will know that I gave it my best. It's not an easy thing to do. And given everything else I have had going on in my life in the last year and a half, it's amazing I have made it this far. That is something in and of it's self. It took everything I had not to give up on life when my husband first left for deployment. I had to learn to live life in a way I had never imagined, independently. I struggled. But eventually, I did it. I picked myself up and kept myself going and made it to the end of the deployment in one piece... part of it while going to school. If I can go through all of that and maintain an A, I can make it this last stretch.

I've just got to stop feeling sorry for myself when I get overwhelmed and stressed and tired. I've gotta go back to being that girl from the deployment who can handle anything that gets thrown her way.

It's time to suck it up and finish school.


1 Comments:

Blogger Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

You... are incredible. I am having an emotional breakdown and I'm only in my second week of nursing school. Its so overwhelming but I know it'll be worth it in the end. I'm so glad you are feeling a little better. Keep going!

♥ Mrs. S.

April 13, 2010 at 10:01 AM  

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