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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Shitty

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Shitty

Pardon my language, but shitty, shitty, shitty.

I'm exhausted. I'm still recovering from the crazy days I spent at surgery practicum and it is now 5:11 am and I have yet to fall asleep.

I think it all caught up with me.

I was lying in bed think about surgery and what I did wrong, what I did well, questions I should have been able to answer etc, etc, etc. I was actually anxious about it.

Sunday night, the night before my first big day, I slept like a baby. Monday night, the night before surgery day, I slept like a log. Two nights of dreamless sleep. Tuesday night, I was so exhausted and fried that I crawled into bed at 10:30 pm, turned on the TV and don't remember a thing after that. I was out and I slept until 8am yesterday.

How is it, that when I should be a huge ball of nerves I sleep perfectly well and when it's all over, I'm anxious as hell?

I have discharge today and a test later tonight. I really wanted to sleep. I have now given up. I tried in bed, then the couch with the TV on and the lights on (sometimes that works for me), I tried the couch with the lights off, then I tried bed again. Nothing. Just anxiety. It's not so bad when I'm awake. When I'm awake, I feel fine. Tired, sleepy and exhausted, but otherwise fine. As soon as I lay my head down and close my eyes? Anxiety. Deep breathing is not helping.

Oh, what I wouldn't give for a few hours of sleep.

3 Comments:

Blogger L.C. said...

Try taking a bath! If it works for babies sometimes it should work for adults :)

April 22, 2010 at 5:53 AM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

ohhhh, I know how that feels. I'm in nursing school and just had our finals. First semester is over but I still have four more to go. I hate that feeling of not being able to sleep. It's like you want a sleeping pill or a frying pan, something to just knock you out. Are you in Vet School. Congrats to you for surviving your practicum. We should chat sometime, I know vet school is a lot different from nursing school, but I can at least "kinda" relate to what you are going through.

April 22, 2010 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

Its almost over! Look how far you've come. Look at how nervous you were for your practicum and you got through that just fine. Relax. I'm praying for you.

♥ Mrs. S.

April 23, 2010 at 9:01 AM  

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