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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Dear Lord!

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Dear Lord!

The worst of my surgery practicum is over.

Have you ever been through something so stressful, where there is so much pressure on you, that you just can't function for days afterward? That was my last two days.

I had a huge audience. It was over 13 people, all there just to watch. One person felt it was ok to literally stand directly behind me and look over my shoulder while I was trying to do an intravenous injection on two very pissed off cats. NOT COOL!

Both of my patients hated being there and were very difficult. My assistant had never dealt with cats before. That is not a good combination. I was never confident that she had a good hold on the cats... I was very worried I was going to get bit. Plus, she lost her grip, twice, while I was giving injections. Awesome. I was very lucky that I didn't get bit.

It was intense. Dear Lord, I can't believe I made it through. My hands shook, I forgot to breath. My teachers kept coming up to me and saying, "Erin, you need to breath."

On Monday, my program director/vet asked me a very simple question. What does FIV and FeLV stand for? I have learned this very thing at least 5 times since I started school. I literally learned it again just two weeks ago. I know all about the diseases and they are very common among cats. I said, "FeLV is feline leukemia. FIV is Feline Immuno... .... .... .... something.... Virus" No shit. I went completely blank. Not even the slightest recognition. I just stood there. Trying to remember. While she stared at me. It was horrible. Then she says, "Well, what does HIV stand for?" And my answer? "Human Immuno.... Something.... Virus" No kidding. I couldn't come up with it. I wanted to cry. Then she said, "I'll give you a hint... It starts with a "D"" And I thought, "Oh, dear God! What on earth starts with a D?!!!!!" I stood there for at least 15 more seconds... It felt like hours... I did finally ask, "deficiency?" Seriously, I wasn't sure. It is, in fact, deficiency. Feline Immunodeficiency Virus. And it was all down hill from there.

I did fine on all my skills. I answered most of the questions I was asked correctly. There were very few things I didn't know. My teacher said I did well, but that I need to work on my nerves. There's a big surprise. :) But, holy cow, it was intense to have all of those people watching me. Plus, I had to go first for both of my patients. I was the first surgical team for my neuter and the first surgical team when we did the spays. Which means, no one in the room had anything better to do that watch to see if I screwed up. Luckily, I'm pretty good under pressure, so I able to keep going. I felt the pressure, but didn't lose it.

But now, I'm exhausted. I had to be at school at 12pm. I got there at 11:40am both days. I then had to attend class afterwards until 10pm. So, two very long, very stressful days. I really need a break, but I have to go to class all week. :( I wish I could lay in bed and do nothing for a day.

Thank God real life is not as stressful as Surgery Practicum. And, rarely, do you have a 13 plus person audience while you are working.

Man, I just wanted to cry through the whole thing.

When I'm feeling better, maybe I'll write more about what I did. I did somethings really well. Somethings not so much. There's a lot that goes into it. We'll see if I ever get the energy to relive it. :)


Blogger Renee said...

Awe.... big HUG to you!! You will do wonderful through this!

April 21, 2010 at 6:15 PM  
Blogger Birdie said...

Haha! I could totally see myself doing the same stuttering thing! Sometimes when I'm put on the spot I space the simplest things! Like, my own child's birth date.

April 21, 2010 at 6:44 PM  
Blogger Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

Oh I'm so glad you got through!! I totally blank on medical terms in my nursing class. Every test I feel like puking. I don't even wanna think about clinicals and the state exam. Death. You did it though!! Glad you are still alive and kicking.

♥ Mrs. S.

April 22, 2010 at 4:46 AM  

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