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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: First Drill Weekend

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

First Drill Weekend

Well, it's the first weekend my husband has had drill since being home from deployment. I just don't think I was ready.

The last year of my life has been spent dealing with deployments. I had a horrible time trying to keep myself occupied to not go completely crazy. I really struggled. Mornings and days weren't so bad, but night time was hard for me. I routinely went to bed at 7:30pm just to avoid being alone at night. That meant I was up at 5:30am every day, but that was fine with me. For some reason, any time after about 5 pm was hard for me.

I had no one to talk to. I had no one to help me. I was all alone for the first time in my life. I was worried all the time and lonely. Then my husband came home. It was like going from zero to sixty in two seconds. I went from being completely alone with no one to talk to, to having someone in my face 24 hours a day. It was much more than I was prepare to handle. I'm still adjusting to having my husband home. I love that he is here now, that I can see him everyday and that I can touch him. I hate that I was so used to being alone that I feel overwhelmed with having him here.

That being said, he is gone now. He left before I woke up on Thursday and will not be home until late tonight. I just don't know what to do with myself. I wasn't ready to spend time away from him again, even though it's hard to have him here. I think if I had homework to do this weekend it wouldn't be so bad. I would be busy. But it's my weekend between classes. I have nothing to do. I'm struggling to keep myself busy again.

It just feels weird to be apart again. I got used to having him here... even if it's still hard sometimes. Next month he is gone for a week. In reality, drill is not a big deal. It's not a deployment. It's not that long of a time to be apart. It's more like a business trip than anything. I'm just going to have to figure out what to do with myself now. I can't remember what I used to do, before the deployment, to keep myself busy while he was gone. It feels like that was so long ago.

I guess I will have to take up a hobby. Or find a good book to read.

I guess this is a good gauge to show me how hard it will be when I move across the state for six weeks. But during that time, I will be busy, so maybe not.

2 Comments:

Blogger Heidi said...

I haven't had any deployments yet and with my husband being a sub vol he won't be gone as long as a marine is, but I understand not knowing what to do w/ yourself. His deployments will usually be 3 out 3 in, and his bootcamp was 2 months and it was the 1st time I was alone too. It's not long, I know, but I completely understand not having him around to being around constantly. It IS overwhelming and I feel bad... I just like to be alone now I guess.

With me I could never sleep at night. the nights went by so slow and a lot of nights I didn't sleep at all.

Just hang in there =]

March 24, 2010 at 3:51 AM  
Blogger Dani said...

You have a really cute blog! I understand what you're going through... my fiancé and I went through an adjustment period when he got back from Iraq, and right now he's in Afghanistan so I'll sure we'll be going through it all over again once he's home!

March 26, 2010 at 10:45 PM  

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