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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: New Years resolution... Broken

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

New Years resolution... Broken

I have already broken a New Years resolution. I'm stressed about school.

It lasted all of three days. I made it, went back to school and broke it. I'm tired, I wish I had had one more week off of school and I would give anything to be graduating. I would be, if I hadn't taken my leave of absence. It's sorta bumming me out to know that my friends are graduating without me.

It's been a rough week in general. All of my tests went well. But I have a paper to write this weekend and I couldn't get my ass in gear today. I slept until 2pm. I have no idea what my problem was. I just couldn't wake up. Caffeine didn't help me at all.

I'm getting closer to finals, which is always a stressful time and the military owes us money again. It's been six weeks. We have called every week for the last three weeks, trying to figure out why we haven't been paid. We called three times a day, everyday, for the last week. No one has bothered to call us back. Yet again, no one cares that we didn't get paid. We are broke, we have bills to pay and we have to borrow money from my parents, yet again, to pay them.

On the bright side, the hubby is going back to work in a week. He said he's going to pickup all the overtime he can. That will help us out a lot. He also has a bunch of vacation he can cash out, so that will help too. But we can't do anything until he goes back, or we get paid, which ever comes first.

I think I'm just a bit overwhelmed with life.

Our friends just found out they are having a baby. I should be happy for them, but I'm actually really bummed. They were like us. They weren't going to have kids, ever. The four of us were going to travel and grow old together. We live next to each other, and we were a team. But they went and decided to have a baby. They didn't even tell us they were trying. They just announced the other day that they were six weeks along and had been trying. Good for them, sucky for us.

We are officially the last hold outs. We are officially the only ones left, who said we weren't going to have kids, who have stuck to it. It sucks. Once our friends have kids, we never see them anymore. Kids make having a social life much harder. Pretty soon, we will have no one to hang out with.

I wish I wanted kids. We could have play dates with our friends. We would be part of the club. But I don't. I never have. I keep hoping I will change my mind. My whole life people have been telling me that I would grow out of it. That I would want kids later. That I would change my mind. I've know I didn't want kids pretty much forever. And I just figured everyone was right. I figured, I would grow up and change my mind. Well, I'm a grown up and I haven't changed my mind in the slightest. It bums me out. We don't know anyone who doesn't want kids now. People said they didn't, but they have all changed their minds. We are it. It sucks.

So, I'm looking forward to finals, we are broke again, we lost our best friends, I'm tired and all my friends are graduating without me. Sad.

And I didn't manage to keep my New Years resolution. :(

Next week will be better. I only have one test. I only have one homework assignment due. It will be a fairly easy week. I will be able to sleep in. I will be able to relax a little. And then, I can get going on my other New Years resolutions. Things will be better on the other side of tomorrow, when my paper is finally written.

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