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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: January 2009

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Top of my Class

Well, we got our final grades today...

I am tied with another student for first place. I have a 99.4%.

I just hope I can keep it up in my next few classes. They are gonna be tough.

Wish me luck.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Bad news

Ok, so it's not terrible news. Just not really want I need right now.
I recently went to the doctor for stomach trouble. I was nauseous all the time and couldn't function. Of course we made sure I had not buns in the oven, but she still didn't know what it was. She threw out things like "gallbladder function" and "stomach ulcers" but nothing definitive. She gave me some pills and said to see how I feel in a week or two.
Well, the pills work great. No more stomach ache... The catch? She has me keeping an eye on my other stomach issues. A little back ground... I have what they call a "sour stomach". It means I'm nauseous all the time for no reason. I take Zantac for it and it seems to help (well, until recently). But she was asking me questions about reflux and such. I get spasms in my asaphagus and have the sour stomach. I also get reflux... I never paid attention to how often or anything but she asked and I guessed... I guessed about 3 times a week.
Well, I've been on the meds, that are serving their purpous and now I am noticing my reflux. I never paid attention before, I've always had it. But it's happening after ever meal. A lot.
The bad news, my mother is having stomach surgery to correct a hiatal hernia in her stomach. She has all the same symptoms I do only worse. I had never asked her before. The more bad news? My grandfather, grandmother and most of my aunts and uncles have it too.
There is a good chance that I have inherited some of their stomach issues, and many of them have been on meds or had surgery for it.
Bummer. Just when I thought I was healthy with no worries (well aside from my loose filling).
I go in tomorrow to see what tests we have to do to see if I have all this stuff... I'm really hoping they say I'm fine and that I just need to change my diet, but I'm a worrier, and I always worry about the worst that can happen.

Finals Are Done!!!!!



Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Finals Week

Well, it's finals week.

I finished one final today and had to do a project. The project went just ok. I killed in my portion. Everyone said I did a really good job, but one girl in our group did nothing and her part of the project sucked... Thank god we are graded individually.

I have to take a math final tomorrow and an A&P final on Thursday. I'm so stressed. I haven't been sleeping and my stomach is tied in knots all the time.

I just keep reminding myself, it's only three more days. Then I will be done and onto on of my few homework free weekends, before starting the next segment of my training.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I blog a lot!

I just realized that I have been updating my blog almost everyday.

You could say that that means I have a lot going on, or that I have a lot to say... But what it says to me is that I need a life. :)

Well, Here's another tidbit for you. I am going back to work. This time it's official. I'm not saying that I should, want to, or am thinking about it. The decision has been made.

It actually sucks balls. I wake up at 6, leave for school a 7, go to school from 8-12, get home at 12:30, study and do homework from 1:30 to 3 or 4, then head to work at 4:30 and work from 5:30 - 10pm. BUmmer. Where am I going to rest, where do i have time to get a good nights sleep? I'm not excited about it. I'm going to be exhausted all the time.

I'm hoping that it's temporary. I'm hoping that it's only for a few months, then I can quit. I guess, on the bright side, it's a good thing I kept forgetting to call in and quit. If I had managed to do that, I wouldn't have a job to go back to.

It will be nice to have good health insurance. I can keep all my doctors and what not... Military insurance sucks and it will be nice to be able to go to the dr any time I want to. It will also be nice to be making $12.10 an hour to do nothing. I mean, I'll have to work a little, but I have a lot of seniority, so it won't be that much. It's a good job, I make good money and have good benefits. BUt I hate it. I don't enjoy working there anymore. I used to love it, but, in the last year, I've grown to hate it. And I really hate the people I work with.

Now, the only decision I have to make is when to go back. Do I go back first thing next week? Or wait until finals are over and go back the week after next. I haven't decided. Either way, it's going to be hard to go back.

Monday, January 19, 2009

If things weren't tough enough already

Well, today I had something really crappy happen.

It started out all well and fine. I had the day off of school, since it's MLK day. I finished up some laundry and ran some errands. Puppy was out of dog food and she needed a good walk. I need to go to the store, things like that. I finished it all in record time. Then I sat around for a while. I've been sitting around all weekend, but I today I cross stitched. I haven't done that in like a week. SO it was a good day.

I even managed to study for my test in record time. I don't know what it is, but these three chapters of A&P seem really easy to me, so it didn't take much to study. I have it all down. So I decided to watch some Dane Cook.

I am nuts for Dane Cook. He is my other husband and he just so happens to have a new special out that I tivo'd. It was on a week ago, but I hadn't had time to watch it. I figured today was a good day to do it. It was a good way to end a pretty stress free weekend.

So while I'm watching I decide to make dinner. I made a big salad. In all fairness, it was a pre bagged salad and all I had to do was mix it together. So I'm opening all the little baggies and got lazy so I used my teeth on one. Yep, you know how your dentist is always saying "your teeth are not tools", well I lost a filling. It popped right out while I was using my teeth to open a baggie.

It doesn't hurt or anything. I had an abcess a few years ago that was eating at my jaw bone. They went in through my front bottom tooth and dug it out with a root canal. There was no known cause for the infection, it wasn't a cavity or anything, but it hurt, so they took it all out and filled the tooth. And now I have a big hole there. It doesn't hurt because they did a root canal, there is nothing inside the tooth to hurt, but how on earth am I going to pay to get a new filling.

They are expensive and I don't even know if we get dental coverage with our military health insurance. I just decided to stop going to the dentist so I wouldn't have to worry if we didn't. I have good teeth and it's not big deal to skip the dentist for a year or so. But now I have to go in and get this stupid thing filled!

Like we aren't broke enough as it is, now I have to get my tooth fixed.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Drugs and life... Whatever

Ok, so I'm crazy, I take medicine for this, but it's true. I'm slightly off my rocker and loving it. It makes life pretty fun most of the time.

Unfortunately, I went on some pills a while back that I didn't like. I hated the way they made me feel. I didn't experience that ups and downs of bipolar, but I couldn't feel anything else either. No happiness, no laughing, nothing. It was a huge downer. So a few months ago I decided I wanted to go off of them and discussed it with my doctor. I had been depression free for about three months and feeling good, so we decided to ditch the antidepressant. We lowered the dose, then cut that in half again and finally I stopped taking it.

I would be saying whoo hoo, but in reality, I think I went off of it too fast. We should have lower the dose more. I'm going through a terrible withdrawl. It sucks. It feels like my internal organs are shuttering all the time, for no reason. I just get these little internal quakes. Especiallly when I move around alot. I also feel like my skin is peeling off and am really itchy. It sucks. I feel awful. It makes it hard to do anything. All I want to do is lay around.

Which leads me to my next weird thing in life... My morbid curiosity with people I hated in high school. I spent years avoiding myspace and things like that because I didn't want to be found. I didn't want anyone from high school knowing about me or my life. As far as I was concerned that chapter was closed and I was ready to move on and away from everyone I knew back then. But a few months ago, I got really bored and had nothing to do (that's the laying around part). I gave in and started a myspace page. A few people found me, but most of them were people I actually liked in high school, so it wasn't a big deal. But what I found was, most everyone is connected in the myspace world. EVeryone is a friend of a friend. It's like 2 degrees of separation. That is how I began to stumble across the pages of people I hated. I don't want to be "friends" with them. I don't want any contact at all, but I really want to see their pages. I want to see what they are up to and silently judge them for it. Weird right? I mean, most of them seem like perfectly normal people. Not the jerks they were back then, well maybe some of them are still jerks, but most seem like they are doing well for themselves. But I look for things that proves other wise. I'm looking for proof that they all still suck as human beings or something. I don't know exactly what I am looking for.

It's so weird to me that we are all so ready to post our lives on line. Anyone can view it. Anyone can get a glimpse into your life and that seems to be ok with people. I'm guilty of it. Not until a few months ago, but here I am blogging for the world to see. But that means at any time people can be checking up on you and viewing intimate details of your life. I'm very careful about what I put on my myspace page. I don't want people knowing too much, but most people just put it all out for the world to see. It's is strange to me to live your life on line... But here I am, a little voyeuristic, with this weird curiosity to see what people doing.

Maybe it's the withdrawl. Maybe it's making me a little nuts. I don't know. But I can't help but look.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Way past my bed time

Well, it's 11:28pm and way past my bed time. I normally hit the hay at 8:30pm. The problem? I went to a friends house and had a rum and coke. Not my drink of choice, but it's all they keep around. Now, I'm wide awake with nothing to do.

I took two sleeping pills, which will mean a late morning, but I don't think they are working.

Have you ever noticed how weird it is to be awake when everyone else is sleeping? When I drove home from Ashley's house all the lights were out where I live. It goes to show that we live around responsible adults that don't do much partying in their old age (which is comforting but saddening too). We aren't kids anymore and we bought a house surrounded by other adults. There is no pretending that we are early twenties and lovin' life. We are now mid to late twenties and being grown ups. What a bummer.

I remember a time when 11:30 meant we were getting ready to go out. But now, I'm a grown up who lives in a neighborhood full of other grown ups. And when I come home late, they are already sleeping. It's weird to be the only one up. I feel like I should be extra quiet in case they can hear me or something.

I wish my husband were home. I wouldn't be awake and bored. I would be happily snuggled up in bed watching TV.

I think next time I'm going to have to decline the invite to go out and just sit at home... Or start drinking decaffinated drinks.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The long weekend

Well, I was supposed to spend all weekend doing homework. I had a ton of it...

Today we had two tests. One final, one math test. I aced them both, they were so easy and was one of the first people done. That meant that I had like 2 hours of nothing to do. I was done with all my work, so I did homework and manage to get it all done.

I'm so relieved. I'm looking forward to my three day weekend now. My husband doesn't get to come home this weekend. He is doing something extremely boring I'm sure. Most of his unit is in the field or something... I"m not quite sure what they are doing, but I know my husband isn't doing it with them. So he is getting some testing done and some drivers licenses for different kinds of vehicles. It sounds a lot more exciting that it is. But it leaves me stuck at home with nothing to do.

I have to make some flash cards for a test I have on Tuesday. But that is about it. I'm not sure what to do with all my free time.

Maybe I'll go to the dog park. All I know, is I'm excited to have at least two days that I don't have to do homework. The bummer? This will be the last weekend for a long time. I just found out, well I kinda knew, that this next week is going to be tough. It's almost our last week of class, so we finishing everything up and getting it all ready for our finals. Yeah, Finals!

I also found out that we don't get a break between this sequence and the next. That means, I do straight from a crazy class with a ton of info into another one just like it with nothing in between. I'm sorta bummed about that.

But yeah no homework this weekend... I take what I can get. :)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Welcome to Military Life

This blog is a two parter...

First part...

Military life sucks. I alway knew that. I never really wanted it, but I said it was ok to marry a Marine because he was in the reserves. That means no moving around, having a normal job (so no crappy military pay), all the perks of military life without the hassell. I love to shop at NEX or AFFES or the commissary. We qualify for VA loans and all that stuff. But right now I am living on military pay because my husband is on active duty to deploy soon. He is living away from home and I never know when I'm going to hear from him or see him again. Soon he will be gone for good and it will be months of waiting for emails and letters that could take weeks to receive. All this, plus he is risking his life, for barely enough to live on. We can barely pay our bills and there isn't enough money left over to go grocery shopping. I am having to look into food stamps and other government assistant just to be able to eat. We can't get a head. We will only ever make just enough to pay our bills and not a penny more. Why do we live in a country that values freedom but won't pay for it? Why is the military alway over looked? Everyone was so willing to pay 700 billion dollars to a bunch of companies that paid their CEO's too much and didn't spend their money right, but no one is willing to pay the same taxes to pay the military a living wage. What is wrong with our country... Did you know we have to pay for his uniform? All those things that are required for him to have, we have to pay for. We have to pay to attend the military ball even though it is a required weekend for the boys to be at. Why doesn't anyone care that our military men and women are broke. They are willing to die for you, but you aren't willing to pay taxes to pay them more. What does that say about you?

Second part...

If it wasn't enough to be broke, barely eating and have the stress of attending school (yes I am still trying to pay for college, thank god for loans that are defered) I have the shittiest friends ever. I have been on my own since December 1st. It is now Jan. 14th. I'm lonely and have no one to talk to. I reached out to a few people. Asked if it would be ok to call them some times, just to talk... They didn't even respond. Not a peep. Can you believe that? My husband is on his way to risk his life and no one even has the time to talk to me. I'm not asking for much... BUt I'm really struggling right now. My husband is gone, I have no money and I live in an area that is fairly new to me. I don't have any friends where I live. I have only lived here for just over a year. I haven't met any new people. Everyone I know is at least an hour south of here and now I can't even afford to drive down to see them. (No one ever drives up here to see me except my mom) So much for true friends. I have a few wives (military spouses) that I myspace. It's nice to talk to someone who understands what it's like. But they all live so far away. It's not like I see them all that often. I think most of them I only see twice a year, once at ball and once at our holiday party. So it's not like we are best friends.

Life sucks right now... We have shitty military health insurance because we can't afford to pay for insurance. It's so shitty, that I can't even afford to see the doctor. That's right, I suffer from Bipolar disorder and I can't afford the necessary treatment to keep in under control. I can't even afford to see a general practice doc.

So I'm stressed about money, stressed about school, broke, hungry, can't afford medical treatment and have no friends.

Welcome to military life.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Homework sucks

Homework blows. I hate to do it. I know I learn a lot from it, but still.

Do you ever have days when your brain is fried? It feels like your brain couldn't possible do any more thinking or learning? I feel like that everyday. After school, I have about 3 more hours before I hit "brain overload". Then I turn to mush and am not good for anything. Not even watching TV.

I have been avoiding homeowork today. I know I need to work on it, but I swear my hair hurts, my brain is so dead. I keep telling myself that I will do it later tonight, but I don't know if that is true.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Feeling pretty stupid

So all this time, I've been struggling with homework. IT's really difficult to get it all done and nearly impossible to get 100%, since some of the answers aren't in the book.

I just found out the answers to our homework are in the back of the book. So Not only can I check my answers, but I don't have to spend hours looking up difficult questions.

Our teacher told us this our first day of school and said she didn't care if we copied it. I'm still going to do honest work. It's the only way to learn it all. But now I don't have to spend all those extra hours killing myself to get it done and to get a 100%.

What a stupid thing to forget.

I will still have like 3 hours of homework a day, but talk about a life saver.

I feel so stupid for not remembering that...

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Wisdom of Charles Schultz

Thefollowing is the philosophy of Charles
the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

You don't
have to actually answer the questions.
Just read straight through, and
you'll get the point. ....

1.Name the five wealthiest people in the
world. ....

2.Name the last five Heisman trophy
winners. ....

3.Name the last five winners of the Miss
America. ....

4.Name ten people who have won the Nobel
or Pulitzer Prize. ....

5.Name the last half dozen Academy Award
winners for best actor and actress. ....

6.Name the last decade's worth of World
Series winners. ....

Howdid you do? ....

Thepoint is, none of us remember the
headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.

They are
the best in their fields.
But the applause dies. Awards tarnish.
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with
their owners .

Here'sanother quiz. See how you do on this
one: ....

1.List a few teachers who aided your
journey through school. ....

2.Name three friends who have helped you
through a difficult time. ....

3.Name five people who have taught you
something worthwhile. ....

4.Think of a few people who have made you
feel appreciated and special. ....

5.Think of five people you enjoy spending
time with . ....


Thelesson: ....

Thepeople who make a difference in your
life are not the ones
with the most credentials, the most money,
or the most awards.
They are the ones that care . ....

'Don'tworry about the world coming to an
end today.

It'salready tomorrow in
....Australia....' (Charles

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

It's 2009

Sorry it's been so long since I posted, things went crazy in my life.

Christmas was ok, nothing too great to report on that front. New Years was uneventful, I was in bed by 11:30pm. It was a total yawn. But it seems like we had a ton to do...

We had our annual Christmas party. It's a pot luck, white elephant gift exchange. Too bad nobody remembered to bring food. So everyone had to run out to the store at the last minute so we had enough to eat. It was still fun, but a little crazy because my husband and I had to make a bunch of food at the last minute.

I also had a ton of homework to do over the holidays. I spent four days doing nothing but homework and studying. It was a total bummer way to spent that last part of my Christmas break.

My husband headed off to base again. It was his last time home, well that they guaranteed. So now we don't know when we will see each other again. I think he will be home soon, but I don't know for sure.

School started like nothing ever happened. But this week we were all assigned group projects to do. Like I don't have enough homework already.

I guess that's really all that has been going on. Now that I'm in school, life has gotten pretty boring.