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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Stress, stress and more stress

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Stress, stress and more stress

Well, I'm getting ready to head back to school. Monday is the big day.

I had orientation today at 2pm. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I had nightmares all night long. Each time I woke up, I would lay in bed, afraid to fall back asleep, and sure enough, I would immediate go into a new nightmare the minute I did sleep. It was horrible.

So, I got up today, exhausted. The orientation was long. Two hours. And there are a million things that are different from the assistant program to the tech program. First, our practical skills are graded on a pass/fail scale vs. a letter grade with points. We get two chances to demonstrate the skill, if we don't, we get a fail. If we fail three skills in a given class, we automatically fail the class, no matter how high our academic grade is. If we fail a class once, we get one more chance to pass it, if we still don't pass, we get terminated from the program. Talk about no slack.

On top of school full time and crazy amounts of homework, I am also required to do two surgery practicums. I am in charge of intubating, anesthetizing, sedating, placing an intravenous catheter and monitoring the patient during surgery. Also, I do post-op recovering and discharge. It takes up three days a week. It also runs late and I will miss a few hours of class to do this. I want to do more than two practicums, but I don't know if I will have the time.

I also have to do independent study. I go to a site a few hours each week and have to write a case study at the end of my time. I do this every sequence of school. So five total.

My large animal class will take place in the middle of winter. I'm really not excited. It means visiting farms while it's snowing. Most of the class takes place outside. I'm going to need a really warm pair of long johns.

And the very best part... The part that I really hate and wish it wasn't so, is that I am starting school during the hardest sequence/class. I'm starting with Surgery, Dentistry, and worst of all, Pharmacology. Pharmacology is the single hardest class we take. We have to know all the brand names and generic names of all the drugs, what they are used for, what their counterindications are, learn how to dose them properly and learn how they work on the body and how they are processed by the body. It involves a very in depth look at the central nervous system, the brain, the liver and kidneys. The central nervous system is extremely complex and confusing. I'm not excited about this at all. On the bright side, I will be done with the hardest part of schooling early. But I just took three months off of school and now I have to jump right into the hardest class.

I am so stressed. Long gone are my days of endless free time and reading for pleasure. Long gone are my days of sleeping well and sleeping in.

I've decided that I do want to go back to school. I've figured out that my feeling lost in life is really my dreading the amount of stress that school will bring. I don't mind that I am not passionate about my job. I like it and it's interesting. There's a lot I can do with it and it will never be boring. But the stress of school kills me. I'm not dreading school, I'm dreading the stress. No down time, no free time, and did I mention no breaks? We get two weeks at Christmas, but other then that, we have no breaks during school. We go straight from one class to the next. No spring break or summer vacation. It will be 10 months before I see the light of leisure time.

I'm staring to get excited about going back. It will be a challenge. We do a six week externship at the end and I already have my sights set. I want to do mine at a local research facility. They only take the best students with the best grades. I have to have great attendance, no late test or homework and glowing teacher recommendations. It will be tough to get, but I know I can do it if I really push myself.

I'm excited to have somewhere to go every day and a reason to get out of bed. I will be super busy for the next ten months. It's going to be crazy. My stomach problems will come back, I will start losing sleep while I stress about school. I will have no time on weekends to do much but homework... But I will be top of my class. I had one of the highest GPA's in the assistant program. I averaged a 98% in my classes, many of them 99%. I had one of the only 4.0's. I know I can do that again, if I really kill myself. The tech program is 100 times harder. It is way more challenging and there is a lot more work. But I know I can do it, if I just set my mind to it. Unfortunately, my husband will have to find other people to hang out with while I'm off doing school. But it's only 10 month, right?

Holy crap am I super stressed about going back, but I'm almost done. I hope it will be worth it.


Blogger JW.BW said...

Vet school?!?!?! How exciting!!! What a wonderful thing girl! Your right on the money about the large animal part. What you wear will decide how your day turns out. Ive had horses all my life and the barn can be rough in the winter. Youll be fine though!! Wow, truly amazing. I had no idea what you were going to school for!!

October 8, 2009 at 9:40 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

well at least you'll get the hardest class out of the way and everything else will be a breeze, right? =]

October 8, 2009 at 9:51 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

sounds like it will be complex, interesting and (above all) a HUGE pain in the a** haha. Well, nothing worth doing is ever easy. I know your pain (through a nursing perspective anyway) GOOD LUCK!!!!

October 9, 2009 at 12:52 AM  

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