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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Overload

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Overload

I'm officially in overload. I did 20 hours of homework this weekend and didn't even finish it. I had to do the rest on Monday morning. I'm studying for three test in two days and am looking forward to a another homework filled weekend.

I have two more days of school and my brain checked out half way through my second class today. Luckily it was a review of stuff from the assistant program, so it was sorta ok.

My husband left for the field today, so I don't think I will be hearing from him for a while. I wasn't hearing from him much anyway, but now it will probably be zilch.

I can feel a breakdown bubbling under the surface. Normally, I would be losing sleep and crying by now. Instead, I'm sorta shutting down. Slowly, but surely. I'm so overwhelmed by the end of class that I can't fall asleep. Then I dream about pharmacology and wake up in the morning in a panic. Two days in a row that has happened. So I'm really not getting any sleep. I'm slowing down. I'm not functioning. I'm too calm. I'm too organized and stress free. I'm not anxious, or freaking out at all. Which I should be, that would be normal. I'm just sorta... nothing.

Pretty soon, I'm either going to totally lose it and end up in the looney bin, or (hopefully) this weekend, I will finish my homework, take a bath and really relax without thinking of school for a few hours.

It's only the second week. I'm having very severe second thoughts about my choice to go back to school. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. I don't know if I can take 9 months, two weeks, and two days more of this. I wake up early to get in 6 hours of study time before class, I spend all day doing homework and studying on the weekends. I'm averaging about 8 hours a day if not more. And I'm not even getting it all done. I'm going to have to aim for 10 hours a day on the weekends.

I don't have time to have a life, I have no time to be social, or read a book. I don't have time to go to the movies. All I have time for is school. And all I want, is one day a week that I don't have to do school work.

BAH! Brain Overload and no end in sight!

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