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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: New Perspective

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

New Perspective

My husband has given me many reasons for why he needs to stay active duty. He has given me many examples of how it is the best/right decision. He has plead his case. However, he left no room for me to argue. He left no room for what I want or need. He did not hear my side of things, nor did he take me into account before making his decision.

I have been feeling very resentful about this. Each night, after he calls, I feel depressed. It is another reminder that he is home, but not HOME. The constant tug of war going on in my life feels like it is too much to bear. I want to support my husband, but I am upset by his decision. He comes home for a few days and I have to adjust to that, just for him to leave me again. It all feels like a big tease. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't come home at all.

I have been giving this situation a lot of thought. Last night, I talked about it to a Marine Corps wife who's husband is also staying on active duty. We discussed my situation. Not only did she understand where I was coming from, but she agreed that my feelings were normal and justifiable. After all, I was not given a say in the matter, of course I would feel upset about that. But she also said some really great things about communication, about working through things together and, most importantly, about supporting my husband.

This is just one of those situations that comes up in the military that I just don't have a choice on. But I have a choice as to how I act and how I feel. My husband has his reasons, he has asked me not to share them, but they are valid. His need is greater than mine at this time, and it's high time I stop feeling sorry for myself and accept the situation at hand.

All to often the Corps takes center stage in our marriage. That is the price you pay to be married to a Marine. It is not always convenient, it is not alway ideal. Often times, it is a huge pain. More often than not, I have no say in the matter. More often than not, it is the exact opposite of what I want to happen, but I chose to marry my husband. I chose to love him and support him. I knew he was a Marine and that that would constantly be in the middle of things. It's about time that I buck up and start supporting my husband.

I got over the deployment issue. He chose to deploy and didn't so much as ask how I felt about it. I got over that and supported my husband. I survived the deployment and managed to love him and be loyal to him in spite of my initial resentment. I can do that again. I still feel that it is unfair that my husband makes life altering decisions without consulting me. I still think it is unfair that he refuses to hear my side of things, but I married a Marine and sometimes there are things that are more important than what I want or need. His need to deploy and his need to stay on active duty are two of those things.

So, as much as I hate it, I'm going to support my husbands decision. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. I'm not saying I like the situation I'm in, but a good military wife supports her husbands need to serve and it's time for me to do that.

I hope this will be the end of my whining about him being home, but not HOME.

1 Comments:

Blogger JW.BW said...

Your a great wife, I truly admire your selflessness. I am deployed right now away from my husband because I chose to. Reading your post makes me think my husband may have thought some of the things that you do. I thank you for that, and giving me a new perspecitve! Hang in there girl!!!

October 1, 2009 at 7:22 PM  

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