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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Today....

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Today....

Today was a hard day. I don't know why, it just was.

I wanted to sleep in but popped awake at 7:12 and couldn't fall back asleep. I was having the most lovely dream too. So I reluctantly got out of bed and got dressed for the day. I just couldn't seem to fill my time. I did the dishes, started laundry... I even took my dog into work to get her nails trimmed. Nothing seemed to make the time go by faster.

I tried diddling around on the internet, I tried watching TV, I played with my dog. I took her to the store and bought her a new toy.

I talked to my husband and we decided to get a new puppy. We were planning on it anyway, but I got permission to get it before he comes home. I'm excited, but locating breeders didn't take a super long time.

I feel like I have done a lot today, but it just dragged on. Even now, it's only 5:30.

I hate days like today. My time just seems to slow down. I can't find enough stuff to occupy my time and I start to feel lonely. Everyone always says, "keep busy." Normally, I do. Normally, I have tons of stuff to do and my days just fly by. I mean, I'm already three months into the deployment. Well of him being in country, anyway. I'm seven months into the activation. That seems like it just started... Except today. Today sucked.

A week ago, all I wanted was to have time. I wanted to have time to breath and read. I needed a break from life. But today, I would have given anything to have been at my externship again. I guess getting what you asked for doesn't always play out well.

I do have a super busy weekend. But I am looking at at least six weeks of nothing to do. I thought that's what I wanted, but I'm starting to think taking a break from school was a mistake. I'm so confused. I was drowning at school. I was stressed and overwhelmed. The deployment was new and that stress, mixed with the school stress was slowly killing me inside. But now, I am faced with a whole lot of nothing and I'm worried that it will be horrible. What will I do all day? How will I fill my time? I just don't see this break being all that I hoped it would be. And now I have a horrible situation...

I need a break from school to deal with stress, but if I take that break, I'm faced with a lot of hard days a head of me. So what do I do? It's sorta already to late to go back to school. I missed orientation. I sorta have to take six weeks off now. But these six weeks are going to be hard. Maybe not as hard as school, but hard.

Today sucked. I don't know what to do now. :(

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