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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: This is my life

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This is my life

I watch a lot of cop shows. I especially love ones about detectives.

But today I watched an episode of The Closer and realized how different my life will always be. The synopsis is two cops get shot (and killed) during a routine traffic stop and the lead character has to find the killers.

My husband has been a Marine for almost 8 years. It will be 8 years next month. He has sworn to protect our country and our freedoms, even at the cost of his life. And when he comes home, he will begin his pursuit of his next career. Being a police officer. He is driven to protect. He is driven to serve.

So I watched the show today, and realized that that, very easily, someday, that could be me that they are notifying. It could be my husband, killed in an "officer involved" shooting. I will spend the rest of my life wondering if he will come home. And he will spend the rest of his life in danger.

It feels like we are tempting fate. How long can he put his life on the line before it ends? How long can we lead our lives surrounded by death and destruction and criminal activities and war before it catches up to us?

This is my life now. It is one that I choose. I choose to marry for love, I choose to marry a man who put honor and duty above all other things. But I never stopped to think of the consequences of loving someone like that. When you are walking down that aisle, you don't stop to think about the danger he might be in one day. Or what his job will mean to the rest of your life. I was so focused on loving him, that I never stopped to question if I could live my life like this. And now I have to.

We live our life in life and death... I have said that before. But when does it ever end? When will a day at work, be just that, with no other thoughts in my mind? When will I get to stop worrying?

I married a good man, with good principles. A man who values life and freedom. He loves his country. He wants to protect those around him. He wants to do good in this world. And I promised to stand by him, no matter what the cost. And now, I'm not so sure the price we pay will be worth it. Will he do enough good in this world to out weigh his death? Will I be able to look at my husband as a hero and forget my own sacrifice?

I honestly don't know.

1 Comments:

Blogger Mandy said...

Just found your page. My husband is a former Marine who is now a cop. It is tough sending him off to work every day. I totally agree about tempting fate. We survived a deployment, but every day he could be in danger. I'm here if you need anything!

July 30, 2009 at 7:20 PM  

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