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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Feeling Sad Today

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Feeling Sad Today

I'm feeling pretty sad today. Like I just want to crawl in bed and sleep until my husband gets home.

I went out to eat with a friend for lunch. It was a nice distraction. But I came home and watched the final episode of Scrubs. What a weird thing to feel sad about. It was a good episode. It just that I usually watch it with my husband. We started watching it a few years ago and have been avid Scrubs fans ever since.

We watched them all on DVD and then began following the new episodes. He left three weeks ago and it's been weird to watch the final episodes without him. Now that the show is over, and he wasn't here to see it, I feel sad. Like I cheated on him. I feel like I shouldn't have watched them without him.

By the time he comes home, I'm sure the last season will be on DVD. He won't have missed much. But it still makes me sad.

I've been feeling pretty sad in general this week. I'm overwhelmed with school and I really miss my husband. I have never had to live independently before. I am in independent person in general, but I went from my parents house to my husband's house. I never lived alone. And now, I am having to learn to live life alone. It's actually pretty hard. I didn't appreciate how difficult it would be to learn to live life without my husband.

I went grocery shopping alone, for the first time in my life. It was a weird experience. I have never done that before. I'm having to relearn how to live life.

Deployments suck. The house is so empty without my husband here. I feel so alone all the time. Everything is so quiet. And I just feel like hiding from life. I just want to hang out at home and watch TV and read books. But I tend to get bored too. So, it's sorta a double edged sword. If I just hang out at home, I miss my husband more, but if I get too busy, I feel overwhelmed.

Time just can't pass fast enough. It's six months and one week until he gets home. How am I ever going to make it through this?

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