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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Time is moving on...

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Time is moving on...

Well, I'm over the initial shock of my husband leaving. It's still hard, but I haven't cried since Friday, so that's a start.

I'm playing catch up in school this weekend. I have three tests to study for and finals to take next week. Bummer. I picked a really bad time to take a week off of school. On the brights side, I'm not really caring how bad my grades get. I know they won't drop too low and I have more important things to worry about right now.

We still don't know my husband's mission. That is tough. I can't emotionally prepare for the best and worse case scenarios if I don't know what he will be doing. It could be anything. That really sucks. But I've heard from him a couple times since he left, so that is nice. He is bored right now. They aren't doing too much, which is nice for me because he can call home. I doubt I will hear much from him for a few months, if not the rest of the time he is gone.

It's hard to realize that he is in danger over there. I'm trying not to think about it, but it's always on my mind that he might not come home. We have planned for all the worst case scenarios and such, but it's still hard to think about. But I have some really good friends that are helping me through and it's been nice to get back into a routine. I'm sure I'll get busy in school and time will go by faster than I expect. At least, I hope so.

I have been thinking about taking a break from school. My husband doesn't think I'm in the right mind to make huge decisions like that right now. He thinks him being gone is still too new for me to be making life changes. But I feel overwhelmed with everything. I mean, I'm trying to cope with him being gone and all that that means and entails. That coupled with 20 hours of class time and 15 hours of homework a week, plus my dog, plus cleaning and laundry and such, just seems like too much. I really want to take some time to sleep in and play with my dog. Maybe read a few books and catch up on my movie watching. I want to volunteer somewhere and just relax for a while. Maybe I'm trying to hide from life a bit, I don't know. I just really could use some time to myself right now.

I will probably stick with school. I'm so far into it, that it seems silly to take time off now. But you never know. We'll see how I feel after this next sequence.

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