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A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: The insensitivities of those who mean well...

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The insensitivities of those who mean well...

Today I got an email regarding my husbands going away party. It was a sweet decline. They weren't able to make it. It's no big deal that they can't come, but they said something that really struck me.

They asked, "How long is his trip?" His trip. Like he is going away to the peace corps or on a business trip to New York. It doesn't really make me mad. If that's how they need to see it to make it make sense to them or to make them feel better, so be it. But it really is an insensitive thing to say.

He is not going a trip. He is going to war. He is going to risk his life for the freedom of others. It's not a vacation.

I love it when people say things like that. I don't get upset, but it strikes me how often people have no clue what to say so they say something insensitive. For instance, I was at school and a class mate asked how long my husband was going to be gone for. I said at least seven months. She replied," Oh my god! I thought it was only six weeks! Well, I couldn't do it." How is that supposed to make me feel better. Congrats. You couldn't do it, but guess what I don't have a choice. But thanks anyway. :) LOL.

I never get upset with those people. They mean well. It is the insensitivities of those who mean well. But I get kinda tired of it to be honest. No I don't think this life is for everyone. No, it's not easy. No, not anyone can do it. Yes, there are many who would refuse. But I can't refuse and in fact I had a choice and I chose to marry my husband anyway, knowing he would deploy. It is my life. I do not think anyone can do it, and I wouldn't want most people to try. But I did choose it. I'm very proud of my husband. Is it hard? Yes. Does it suck sometimes? Yes. But if given the choice again, I would still make it. I will always choose my husband.

If you don't know what to say to someone you meet, please don't say anything at all. Telling us that you couldn't or wouldn't do it is of little comfort to those who have to. Calling it a trip or adventure may be cute on paper, but it belittles what they are doing.

It is better to sit in silence then say something insensitive that you can't take back. I know it sounds silly. But these are little things that people say without thinking.

Please choose your words carefully.

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