<data:blog.pageTitle/>

This Page

has moved to a new address:

http://www.aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.com

Sorry for the inconvenienceā€¦

Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
<data:blog.pageTitle/>

This Page

has moved to a new address:

http://www.aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.com

Sorry for the inconvenienceā€¦

Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle: Drugs and life... Whatever

A Boy, A Girl, and The Marine Corps: A Love Triangle

"I cast my lot with a Marine and where he was, was home to me." ~ Anonymous.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Drugs and life... Whatever

Ok, so I'm crazy, I take medicine for this, but it's true. I'm slightly off my rocker and loving it. It makes life pretty fun most of the time.

Unfortunately, I went on some pills a while back that I didn't like. I hated the way they made me feel. I didn't experience that ups and downs of bipolar, but I couldn't feel anything else either. No happiness, no laughing, nothing. It was a huge downer. So a few months ago I decided I wanted to go off of them and discussed it with my doctor. I had been depression free for about three months and feeling good, so we decided to ditch the antidepressant. We lowered the dose, then cut that in half again and finally I stopped taking it.

I would be saying whoo hoo, but in reality, I think I went off of it too fast. We should have lower the dose more. I'm going through a terrible withdrawl. It sucks. It feels like my internal organs are shuttering all the time, for no reason. I just get these little internal quakes. Especiallly when I move around alot. I also feel like my skin is peeling off and am really itchy. It sucks. I feel awful. It makes it hard to do anything. All I want to do is lay around.

Which leads me to my next weird thing in life... My morbid curiosity with people I hated in high school. I spent years avoiding myspace and things like that because I didn't want to be found. I didn't want anyone from high school knowing about me or my life. As far as I was concerned that chapter was closed and I was ready to move on and away from everyone I knew back then. But a few months ago, I got really bored and had nothing to do (that's the laying around part). I gave in and started a myspace page. A few people found me, but most of them were people I actually liked in high school, so it wasn't a big deal. But what I found was, most everyone is connected in the myspace world. EVeryone is a friend of a friend. It's like 2 degrees of separation. That is how I began to stumble across the pages of people I hated. I don't want to be "friends" with them. I don't want any contact at all, but I really want to see their pages. I want to see what they are up to and silently judge them for it. Weird right? I mean, most of them seem like perfectly normal people. Not the jerks they were back then, well maybe some of them are still jerks, but most seem like they are doing well for themselves. But I look for things that proves other wise. I'm looking for proof that they all still suck as human beings or something. I don't know exactly what I am looking for.

It's so weird to me that we are all so ready to post our lives on line. Anyone can view it. Anyone can get a glimpse into your life and that seems to be ok with people. I'm guilty of it. Not until a few months ago, but here I am blogging for the world to see. But that means at any time people can be checking up on you and viewing intimate details of your life. I'm very careful about what I put on my myspace page. I don't want people knowing too much, but most people just put it all out for the world to see. It's is strange to me to live your life on line... But here I am, a little voyeuristic, with this weird curiosity to see what people doing.

Maybe it's the withdrawl. Maybe it's making me a little nuts. I don't know. But I can't help but look.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home